you put the O in disOrder ➢ (l.s)

O.38

(Harry's POV)

There's a little white hospital band around my wrist, and it's just way too tight.

I've been away from Louis for a couple days now, and I can only talk to him over the phone for the moment.

It's torture.

And they call this therapy?

"Would everybody like to go around and introduce themselves?" The group conductor asks, her green eyes wide and pure. I half wonder if she's ever cried. Someone as innocent as herself is also ignorant to the worlds dark places.

"Clyde! How about you start for us?" I'm just thanking god it wasn't me.

The kid shrugs and clears his throat, looking around the circle full of freaks and drug addicts. Mostly freaks, though.

"Hey my name's Clyde, I'm eighteen and I don't know why the fuck I'm here," he says dryly. A part of me wonders why he's here as well... He looks like one of those popular kids who always goes to parties on the weekend.

"Hey!" A blonde girl whines, "He swore!"

"Yeah, I know Melanie. Sometimes people swear when they get upset or angry..." Her voice is honey. I can't pretend I don't like it. "Are you angry, Clyde?"

"Yes, Stacy. I'm very fucking angry," he grunts, almost rubbing it in Stacy's face that he can swear.

"Tone down the language please, Clyde. Those words can trigger some people... We wouldn't want that, would we?"

He rolls his hazel eyes, crossing his arms as he slumps in his chair. I eye his tattoos that crawl up from his wrists to his forearms and think to myself, why hasn't Louis jumped on the tattoo boat? It's too hot for him not to.

He stays pin drop silent as the circle goes around, and I'm just thankful I pulled one off in the bathroom earlier so I won't interrupt anybody with my excessive moaning. It's embarrassing enough as it is, but in a mental institute? It just makes it three thousand times worse.

I barely even realize that it's my turn a few long, sad introductions later, and I look up quickly, feeling my face flush. What should I say?

"I'm Harry," I say, rubbing my thumbs together nervously. I stay silent and Stacy presses on with her green lit, expectant eyes.

"That's all?" She says, as if to give me a little nudge.

I swallow, and shift in my chair a little. I hate when people stare at me.

Stop staring at me.

Stop it.

"Uh, well," I stammer, until a girl with long black curly hair pipes up.

"Hurry up, yeah? We haven't got all day." She says, and Stacy gives a bewildered look before she shushes her.

"Don't mind Eden, Harry. Go on now. How about your age?" She asks.

"I'm sixteen." Easy. How come I'm not crying or getting angry like anybody else?

"Favorite thing in the whole world?"

Okay, so that's when the tears set in.

"Louis," I say with a tightened throat, and Clyde makes a point of rolling his eyes even harder. He knows I'm about to lose it.

"Louis?" Stacy echos me, scrunching her perfectly arched brows. "And who might that be?"

Should I just come out and say it? My heart throws itself up against my rib cage before I let the words slip. I feel like I'm drowning in a droplet of water.

"My boyfriend." It's a small, sheltered whisper that lingers below my breath, and when the whole group studies me harder, I feel like I'm about to blow chunks everywhere.

"Really? That's so wonderful, Harry. I'm so glad you could share with us today!" She chirps, as if I didn't just come out to a collection of imperfect strangers. "And I'd hate to cut you off, but group is just about to end, and you wouldn't want to miss dinner, would you?"

No, I wouldn't. Fuck.

Mostly because Louis is supposed to be visiting me tonight with some pizza and soda's.

Everyone gets up without me, rushing down the hall to hopefully get some of the "good" hospital food (if that even exists), and I just wait. I wait until I'm called up to the visiting floor to see my baby, and I can feel my limbs melting like butter when I see his face.

He puts the stars in my sky, no doubt about that.

I nearly jump in his arms, squeezing him so tight that it may have hurt him a little tiny bit... But hey, love is pain.

"I missed you so so much," I say into his shirt that smells of musky cologne. And we're the only ones in the room, besides the guard. He's just happily on his phone and eating a doughnut, and so it gives me time to give Louis a couple pecks on the cheek and lips.

"I missed you infinitely more, Bambi," he says, and when he gives me a bouquet of white roses, I can't help that my eyes get a little foggy. He's so sweet, it should be illegal.

I hold them, taking in a solid whiff as my eyes flick shut. I giggle, feeling more happy, even when I sneeze and it triggers a whimper out of me. A whimper that Louis is all too familiar with.

Louis just pulls me into his side and leads me to a table where there are plates and plastic ware all laid out for the pizza that's about to be eaten. I giddily sit down and take a slice, taking a small bite before I look at Louis again.

Something is different, I can feel it. I really have no idea what it could be, but we all get feelings. Like a sixth sense of sorts.

"So," he says, trying to conceal a huge smile. "I have a surprise for you."

The little kid in me squeals. I guess I was right about the tiny voice inside my head. I knew something was different. "Where?!"

That's when he rests his arm against the table, and on his wrist is a delicately drawn sketch of Bambi, smack dab on his wrist.

"You're like a deer. Strong as hell, but delicate. Artfully crafted, and wise, with the ability to flee if need be." I'm melting. I'm honestly a puddle right now. "But Bambi, you're always safe with me, and I'll always love you. Nothing will ever change that... So I went and made it permanent."

I barely realize I'm crying as I trace the tattoo with my pointer finger gently, but this is the happiest I've been in days. Maybe even weeks.

"It's beautiful, Louis." I gush out, then lean across the table to lock lips with my splendid boyfriend. Could he get anymore perfect?

"Hands off policy!" The guard shouts from behind his window, giving us the death glare from hell. It makes me jump, but in the end me and Louis just end up laughing.

Note to self: Next time bring doughnuts to the guard to keep him occupied long enough for Louis to give me a hand job.

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Hiiii kittens! Sorry it's been eons since I've updated, but collge apps got me stressed af, u feel fam?????????????? :///////////////////

LOVE U ALL <3 xoxoxo