you put the O in disOrder ➢ (l.s)

O.25

(LOUIS' POV)

I want everything to be perfect before I let Harry come over again.

This week, I bought some black paint for my room, and red curtains and well... Just a lot of roomy type things.

I've placed vanilla scented candles on my nightstand, unlit of course, because tomorrow is the big day. I've been putting off any sexual activity with Harry for a reason, you know.

I'm lame, so I bought like six packets of lube. What if it hurts him right? I also bought condoms, because I knew he'd be upset if I didn't.

Zayn teases me constantly about me and Harry's relationship, too.

It pisses me off so bad. But I don't say anything because fuck, I have nowhere else to go but here.

Unless my psychopathic mother changes her mind somehow, I'm stuck.

All I've got left is three hundred dollars to my name from last christmas, and I used half of it on this one night alone already.

I really need to stay here. I really need to be nice, and I really need to get a job.

Ugh.

Yay, adulthood.

Just kidding, suck my ass adulthood.

I don't even realize my phone went off, I'm so busy finishing up painting my room with Zayn, arranging furniture and ordering flowers online.

"Mate, really? Flowers?" Zayn asks me, putting his paint roller down on newspaper for a moment.

I blush and nod, watching him come closer to me, "Yeah, of course. It has to be special for him."

And it does. It has to be beyond perfect.

All I want to do is feel him, and touch him, and make him say things.

I want to make him say really good things.

"Special? What next, Barry White?"

I laugh at that, crinkles forming next to my eyes before he steps a bit closer. Maybe a bit too close?

I dunno. Maybe it just feels like he's too close.

"Are you still a virgin, Louis?" He asks, giving me a smile that indicates he knows better.

"Hmm? Come on mate, spill. Are you?" Zayn presses, obviously trying hard to get an answer from me that he knows will come.

I flush red in the apples of my cheeks and take a discreet step back, shaking my head softly.

The truth is, is that I'm not a virgin.

Not that it matters though right? Harry didn't ask... So I won't tell.

I should probably tell him though.

Liam and I were only experimenting... So I didn't think it was even a big deal, you know?

It was only one time, and I just wanted to see what it felt like... That's not wrong, right?

Liam's a douche nozzle now though... But we used to be literally inseparable.

Harry doesn't have to know. Nope. It'll just hurt him... As far as he knows I'm a virgin and it'll stay that way.

"I'm a virgin," I say quickly in defense, turning my back on him to fix my bedsheets. Anything for an excuse not to look into those devious hazel honey eyes.

He just laughs in response, "Riiiight..." He adds on, and I watch him when he turns around, going to finish up the last bit of painting to be done.