How They Met Alice (BBC Sherlock Fanfiction)

Chapter 36

(Alice’s POV: )

 Very shortly afterwards Sherlock had taken off his coat and was sitting on a sofa in the elegant sitting room and looking around with me by his side, gradually dropping my character. As we heard footsteps approaching, he sat up a little and held the handkerchief to his cheek and I returned to character as well.

 “Hello. Sorry to hear that you’ve been hurt. I don’t think Kate caught your name.” A woman or, most likely, the woman said.

 “I’m so sorry. I’m...” Sherlock began, but as he turned and looked at Miss Irene Adler as she came in, stopping at the doorway, his voice failed him. That surprised me so I turned to her, and as soon as I saw her, I understood. With the exception of high-heels, she was stark naked. Sherlock’s jaw dropped a little and I immediately looked away, dropping my character permanently, sitting up straight, and moving my hand from Sherlock’s back.

 “Oh, it’s always hard to remember an alias when you’ve had a fright, isn’t it?” Irene said, walking into the room and standing directly in front of him, straddling his legs and half-kneeling on the sofa, then reaching forward and pulling the white plastic dog collar from his shirt collar. “There now – we’re both defrocked...” She said, satisfied and smiling down at him. “...Mr. Sherlock Holmes.” I looked at the doorway and anywhere but the two.

 “Miss Adler, I presume.” Sherlock said in his normal voice.

 “Look at those cheekbones. I could cut myself slapping that face. Would you like me to try?” Irene said, looking down at his face. I caught her glancing at me and completely turned my head in the other direction. “Don’t worry, my dear. You will have yours.” Irene said to me. I clenched my fists. Narrowing her eyes, she lifted the white plastic to her mouth and bit down on it. As Sherlock stared up at her in confusion, John walked into the room carrying a bowl of water and a fabric napkin. His eyes were lowered to the bowl to avoid spilling its contents.

 “Right, this should do it.” John said as he entered. He stopped dead in the doorway as he lifted his eyes and saw the scene in front of him. Irene looked round to him, the plastic still in her teeth. John looked at her awkwardly, then down at the bowl before looking up again. I gave him an apologetic look. “I’ve missed something, haven’t I?” He sighed. Irene took the plastic from her teeth.

 “Please, sit down.” She offered. She stepped back from Sherlock, who fidgeted uncomfortably on the sofa as she walked away. I breathed out slowly and loudly, facing Sherlock again. “Oh, if you’d like some tea I can call the maid.” She added.

 “We had some at the Palace.” Sherlock said, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

 “I know.” Irene said flirtatiously. She sat down in a nearby armchair and crossed her legs, folding her arms gracefully to obscure the view of her chest. I almost smiled in relief.

 “Clearly.” Sherlock said. Irene turned her eyes to me, smiling and looking me up and down. I looked at John. Sherlock and Irene stared silently at each other for several seconds, weighing each other up. John looked at them awkwardly.

 “I had a tea, too, at the Palace, if anyone’s interested.” John said sadly, feeling very much left out. Sherlock’s eyes were still fixed on Irene as he attempted to make as many deductions as he could about her. He had nothing, as did I. I had already tried as soon as she walked in to get it over with. Bewildered, he turned and looked at John and started to analyse him. Looking at his neckline; two day shirt. Looking at his lower face; electric not blade. Looking at the bottom of his jeans and his shoes; date tonight. John frowned as Sherlock continued to gaze at him. Looking at his right eyebrow; hadn’t phoned sister. Looking at his lower lip; new toothbrush. Looking just underneath his eyes; night out with Stamford. Relieved that he hadn’t had a brain embolism, Sherlock slowly turned his head and looked at Irene again. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he applied all his deductive reasoning as she smiled confidently back at him, and he still couldn’t pick up on anything. He frowned.