Adolescence: figuring out what the actual fuck one's sexuality and gender is, who and what real friends and family are, what to do in the future, and if that's not enough, there's a big ball of hormones to juggle along with it. Basically just die and then be reborn about seventy-two different times, with each new version being just the tiniest bit more attractive. And if one just so happens to stumble into a relationship in this horrific part of the journey of life, going with the flow is probably best, even if the flow ends with a twenty foot waterfall.
Roman Saturnalia Celebration 2014
I loosely held onto Isaac's hand, afraid that my own hand would get sweaty and freak him out. We'd been dating for over a year now, and honestly I never want to leave this boy. It's so nice being with him and having someone to talk to. We walk into the cafeteria. It's already brimming with Classics Club people. Going over to the ledge in front of the window, and he jumps up, patting his lap for me to sit. I shake my head.
"No," I say, letting the 'o' drag out, "I'll crush you with my weight." He just rolls his eyes and huffs.
"Fine."
I drop his hand and go over to the table, putting my backpack down on a seat. Suddenly the grey beanie is whipped of my head.
"Hey!" I exclaim, turning around. Standing there with a big grin on her face is a pretty high school girl. She has dark hair and a bright blue beanie on.
"I'm Elise, you're Carmen's sister, right?"
"Yeah... I'm Jess," I reach up and grab her blue beanie, sliding it on over my hair with a smile. She puts on my grey one. We smile at each other for a moment, and then Isaac comes over.
"This is Isaac, my boyfriend," I say, introducing him. Elise's face fall the tiniest bit, but she picks it right back up.
"Hi Isaac, I'm Elise, your Classics Club Historian. If you have any questions about making doormice, feel free to ask," She then turns and walks over to the table where people are dipping cherries into melted chocolate to make doormice. Isaac tugs on my hand.
"Come sit with me," he whines.
"Nah, I want to make a doormouse," I say. He rolls his eyes and walks away angrily.
"Isaac wait," I say after him. He completely ignores me though and keeps walking away. Just as I'm about to follow him, my friend Ophelia grabs my arm.
"Come make a doormouse with me!"
"Ophelia I really want to, but Isaac..."
"Fuck him, if he is going to be a butt today, he can be a butt. You should go do what you want."
I take one last look at Isaac, before walking with Ophelia towards Elise.
December 26, 2014
I broke up with him... I just can't deal with all the stress anymore. It's too much.
I open my phone and text Ophelia.
To: Omnomnomphelia
I broke up with him... idk...
To: Jessus
Awe I'm sorry. But hey there are plenty of other people out there to make you happy. Like Sally or Elise or Nick
To: Omnomnomphelia
idk...
I close my phone and set it down. I'm just tired, I need to sleep.
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