*Read the author's note for an irl gay story fam*
I wake up, slightly confused as to where the actual fuck I am.
Suddenly Katy Perry's lyrics of that's what you get for waking up in Vegas run through my head and I let out a snort of laughter.
I honestly have no recollection of last night at all. I stay laying down, enjoying the warmth of the bed. I know that as soon as I sit up, the hangover is gonna hit and I don't want that just yet. What if the guys drugged us last night? My stomach drops and sit up, a wave of dizziness washing over me. I'm in my hotel room, so that's a good start.
I look over to my right in the bed and see Libby passed out asleep. This is going to be one hell of a story when we get back to Klamath Falls.
I look over to the bed stand at my left. Phone, keys, wallet, passport, room key, everything's there. I carefully slip out of the bed and onto the carpeted floor. My dress from last night is folded neatly in a pile on the floor a long with all my other dirty laundry and I'm in my pajamas. I feel a pang of pride in myself for last night, good job black-out-drunk Kelsey.
I carefully walk over to the bathroom, still feeling a little dizzy. I'm not nauseous, thank God. I open to door and turn the light on. There are two tall, full glasses of water on the vanity as well as two bottles of Gatorade. A little note is next to them.
From: really really really really drunk Kelso
To: I really hope you're not that hungover Kelso and Muffin
p.s. I even used the right "you're", so you should be proud of me Mom.
Shit, I took better care of myself last night than what I normally do everyday. I look at my face in the mirror, smiling at the dark under eye bags. My hair is clean and so is my face too. A damp towel on the floor suggests that I showered last night. This normally doesn't happen when I'm drunk, what the actual fuck?
I bring my hand up to run it through my hair and freeze when I see my hand. Oh fuck no.
I slowly bring my left hand down, not wanting to look at it. I close my eyes, inhale, exhale, than open them. A pretty little diamond ring sits on my left ring finger. Fuck, who did I marry?
A scream startles me and I run back into the room with the beds.
"What is I?" I frantically ask Libby, as she stares at me in horror.
"I'm married!" she shouts, holding her hand up. I burst out laughing, clutching my stomach and doubling over.
"What the fuck?!" Libby shouts at me. I try to catch my breath but end up just laughing harder, falling onto my ass on the ground. Libby gets up fro the bed and walks over to me. She glares down at me as tears from in my eyes.
"No homo," I finally gasp out, "but I think we married each other," I hold up my hand for Libby to see the matching wedding band. A smile breaks across her worried face.
"Thank Jesus," she says sitting next to me, "I'm so fucking glad I didn't marry some random dude."
I nod and smile, rolling my eyes at our drunken choices.
"Oh an no offense," she adds, "but I think we need a divorce."
"Agreed," I laugh, "You're too blonde for me anyways."
"Hey!" she yells, playfully smacking me on the shoulder, "Bitch you love me."
"True true, you my main hoe."
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Author's Note: Oh my fuck, this author's note would be in all caps if I had a capslock button on this laptop.
So I was coming out of lunch period and walking with my friend and I look over and I see this guy talking to this girl (I think they were both juniors/11th grade/6th Form/Year 12/Secondary 4/sorry, I'm from the U.S.).
And then he he says something like "No, it's not gay. See watch." and then he looks over to this other guy I didn't see before and the other guy walks over and they fucking kiss, on the lips and everything. Like they make the kissy *mwah* noise. And then the first guy shrugs at the girl and says, "See, it's not gay." And I just fucking quietly screamed to my friend.
Like fuck okay?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!
HOW DOES ONE EVEN RESPOND TO THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
LIKE BRO I JUST KISSED YOU ON THE LIPS BUT IT'S NOT GAY????
HEY BRO I JUST SUCKED YOUR DICK BUT I SAID NO HOMO SO IT'S OKAY, IT WAS JUST A BROJOB?????
(Brojob: a blowjob between two bros; no homo)
HEY SO WHEN I FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS LAST NIGHT IT WAS JUST A BRO THING, WE'RE NOT GAY M8?????
FUCK????
THANKS FAM???
<3 LOUISE????
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