I just know..!

Chapter 18

"I was just..I just came!!" Steve ended looking around the room. Like every other time he did his best in hiding his emotions.
"I'll just come!" I almost ran out and dashed into Brandon.
"Where are you running?" He held my arm.
"I'm hungry!"
"I'm your brother!". I smiled at my attempt and his response.
"I think I love Steve...and I think he got to know that!" I blushed.
"That's a real good news Blazey!" he hugged. Good news?

"Does he like me?" I hesitated.
"It's not my part to tell you this but I can ask him to tell you about his feelings!" He smiled and hugged me.
"By the way, how do you think he knows?"
"I think he heard me while I was telling your girlfriend!" He blushed. My brother is in love..maybe for the first time!
"So what's the plan?" He asked.
"I don't know..I want to run away to Great Wall of China and never come back!" I squeezed my head and he laughed. Why can't he be an amazing brother and tell me whether Steve has feelings for me or not?
"Brraaanddoooon!" I dragged.
"Bye Blazey!" He widened his eyes and left shaking his head.
"Brandon..come with me..!" Al took Brandon away as if she had to share something or otherwise she would be killed.

I sat alone on the couch eating a donut and watching The Suits.  Blake and Steve didn't come out and I had no courage to face Steve. But how long can I keep running from him?
What if he doesn't love me? What if he does? What a f***ing mess?

"Star?..I'll be back in an hour.!" Blake said walking towards the main gate.
"Can I come with you?" I hesitated. What if he says yes? What would I talk about? Does he know that I love Steve?
Wow! That actually felt good.....I love Steve!!

Blake wasn't there by the time I came back from my la-la land. Did he yes or no? I'm either mad or psychic!

"Sweetheart!" He called me from behind. What's with the timed entries?
"Yeah?" I turned back to see my Greek God!

Those eyes..that smile..that body..that hair..and that spark he lights in my heart!..How?

"Steve.. I love you!" I told after fifteen minutes of scary silence.
He turned to me like a robot, his eyes were bloodshot, he was sweating.. He stared, that was a special stare..it was my dream stare...maybe that's how dad looks at mom..! Let me just think it is! Is this really happening? I don't think so..my life can't go twist less!!

"I love you too Sweetheart!" He replied enclosing me in his warm chest.
"Say it again?" He said breathing in and heavily.
"I love you!"
"Say it along with my name!!" He tightened the hug.
"I love you Steve!" I blushed.
"Again?"
"I love you Steve!" I smiled feeling adrenaline pumping up to my face.
"Really?" He asked cupping my face in his huge hands.
"Yeah!" I smiled.
"How long can you love me?" He asked..the eye contact was now gone.
"Forever!"
"Will you let me go?"
"Never!" I hugged him confused as to where this was going!
"If I want to?" He questioned and my stomach clenched at the thought.
A perfect love story is what I asked...!!
I released him and backed off, I knew where this was going. He doesn't love me.. Blake or Brandon convinced him! I'm a crappy f***ing piece of bullshit! All I know is love someone and end up crying. I should have gone behind Brandon or Blake!

I walked out of the house..he didn't come behind me like I expected. He didn't call out my name as I expected. I cried as I walked to 'the rock'.

I wanted time to go back to this afternoon.. It wasn't amazing but I had Steve, my best friend!
He will leave tomorrow, he won't ever be there for me. No one will call me 'Sweetheart'. No one will put me to sleep. No one will buy me kittens. No one will watch movies with me and keep the secret that I cry .. Take me back.....

Blake was already near the rock by the time I went up there. He scanned me from top to bottom and smiled like he knows what I was going through.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Nope.. I'm tired of rejection!" I added.
"Come here!" He tapped on the rock making place for me to sit beside him.

Silence...

Silence...

Silence...

"He has cancer!" He spoke.
"Excuse me?" I half-yelled.
"Star.. He isn't well.. He has cancer.. He took too much drugs after Cindy's episode. That lead him to cancer.. He must take a chemo everyday.He came here to spend some time with you!! He loved you since the first time he saw you!!" He exhaled heavily. I was already crying...

One man has finally loved me and he has cancer...

"Surprisingly, he is doing better in the chemotherapy... He has to go to Europe for his treatment or else we will lose him.. He left New York because he couldn't tolerate his family's sympathy!..." He explained.

All I understood was Steve will leave...soon!

"Can we go with him?" I asked sobbing.
"He doesn't want us to! He doesn't want us to cry and all!"
"But..Blake...I love him so much... He can't leave me alone and just go away... Is that why you started behaving properly with him?" I asked.
"Not completely... He asked me to take care of you once he is gone.. I was happy that you finally found someone you're worth...he thought you still loved me-"
"I DONOT anymore!" I confirmed. I realised he got to know the whole story.
"Yeah! Yeah! You don't...he loves you so much Star! Everyday when I take him to the hospital..all he talks is about you.. You met him three months back and he knows so much about you..!" He ended and I kept crying.
"When will he get better?!"
"It might take Years..." He exhaled. He was crying too.

"I can wait!" I rubbed the tears trying to be strong.
"He told me that you would say this.. He told me that you would come here crying...
He sent Brandon and Al to get some food by the time we get back!" He cried.

"I love him Blake.. I need him!" I jumped off the rock and my man helped me from falling right on my face.

"I love you too Sweetheart!" He hugged.
"Save me now!" I said standing properly to sync into his hug!
"And you save me tomorrow!" He held tighter.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked looking at my beautiful giant.
"Because of this !" He wiped my tears with his thumbs.

"You will come back..won't you?" I asked looking up into those eyes.
"I can't promise but I'll try!.. It's a seventy-thirty chance sweetheart! I'm trying! I want to live in a place where nobody sees me with a pity look! I don't want people to check on me! But...." He cupped my face and continued "I also want to be with you..I want to see you smile, laugh, overreact on little things, cry for crazy stuff! I want to figure you out inch by inch, breath by breath! I want to know how you manage everything at your fingertips! I want to kiss that tiny nose which you keep wrinkling whenever you want something! I want you to drag my name and ask me for whatever you want! I want to be there while you stare at the moon, I want to tell you stories about the moon! I want to tease you and then make you smile! I want to solve the incredible puzzle you are! I want to know what magic you do with those large eyes!!" He hugged again.
"I love you so much Sweetheart!" He kissed. My first kiss! His lips tasted chocolate and milk. They were soft. We sinked in! It was magic! I couldn't feel anything around! I couldn't back myself from that magnetic force.that amazing kisser!

"Where did you hide all this love?" I asked panting for breath.
"A safe place!" He raised his eyebrow.
"Where?" I blushed.
"Your heart!" He smiled.

        ------------------------

"Wake up!" He shook me from behind resting his head in the groove of my neck.
"Just go to sleep Steve!" I covered myself.
"I want to show you something!" I pulled the covers.
"Please!" I dragged.
"I'm going to Europe day after!" He said and I sat up straight.

Life?...my life..what more can I expect?