The Mind of an Insecure Person

8. Cole

May 10th, 2008
6:00 a.m.

Dear diary,

I woke up to my alarm going off. Today is officially my last day of my senior year.

I'm still kind of in shock of how beautiful Candice is and how understanding and knowing she is. She knew me better than I probably knew myself. It's like she looked at me and I was an open book waiting to be read. I'd let her read me over and over again just to hear all of the beautiful things she has to say to me.

As I got out of bed, I ran my fingers through my hair and yawned. I walked over to my dresser and decided on what to wear. I chose black jeans with a black short-sleeve shirt. I slipped on my socks and then my converse. After I got dressed, I went downstairs and headed straight to the kitchen to get a bagel, yogurt, and some orange juice.

As I finished my breakfast, I rinsed off my plate and rinsed out my cup, then ran back upstairs to brush my teeth and fix my hair. I decided to spike my hair up today. Something different for once.

I ran back downstairs and headed to my car. I started the engine and hurried to turn the air conditioner on because it was blazing hot today. It felt like you were right beside the sun.

I parked my car and headed straight to class. The sooner class started and sooner school started, the sooner my last day ended. When I got to school, this girl named Amber came up to me in first mod.

"Hey, I heard you talked to my cousin yesterday."

At first I was confused, not knowing who she was talking about. "Candice?"

"Yeah. She said you were an incredibly amazing guy. Please don't hurt her." She gave me this saddened smile.

I smiled a little to reassure her. "I won't. I promise."

She sat down beside me and faced me. "You don't mind me sitting beside you, right?"

"No, not at all." I said, smiling.

She smiled and patted my shoulder.

For the first time in awhile someone talked to me and it was nice words instead of words that hurt me. It felt incredible. It made me feel as if my life was getting a little bit better.

———

When it was lunch time, I went through the lunch line grabbing a Gatorade, pizza, salad, then peaches. I sat down at my usual table and started to eat. As I was eating, Amber came over to me.

"Mind if I sit with you?" She asks as she points to the chair beside me.

"Wouldn't your friends make fun of you?" I say, feeling a little embarrassed.

"So?" She retorted. "It doesn't matter what they think."

"Yeah, you can sit here." Is all I thought to say.

We sat there talking and she told me a bit more about Candice and how amazing she is. I took our trays up and then went back to the table. It felt really nice to have someone talking to me at school. I feel like the end of my senior year is when it got a little bit better for me.

"Thank you for being nice to me. I don't know why you're being so nice, but thank you." I say, feeling an intense amount of happiness.

"You're welcome." She says back, smiling. "Candice told me you went to the same school as us and I never truly knew who you were. I felt bad seeing you sit here all alone. No one deserves to be alone."

"Wow. You're so good with words." I say, laughing. It felt good hearing someone finally say that I—Cole Timothy Bryant—don't deserve to be alone.

She holds her chest where her heart is and starts to tear up. "You're so kind and sweet. I love you already."

The bell rang at that exact moment and we got up and walked to our next class.

———

At the end of the day, Amber was standing by my locker, waiting for me.

"Ready?" She asked.

"For?" I said, looking confused.

"Candice wants me and you to all hang out together."

"Oh, in that case, yes I'm ready."

She laughs and taps my shoulder as I was putting my stuff in my locker. I followed her as she led the way to where we were going. Which was a park.

I parked my car and we got out at the same time. Candice was already there, waiting for us.

"Hey!" Candice says, happily.

She ran up to me and hugged me. I hugged back tightly. I love the way she fits so perfectly into my body. And I love how good she smells. It's a mix of vanilla and coconut.

"Let's go have fun!" Candice and Amber both say excitedly.

We run over to the swing sets and Candice and Amber get on the swings. I tell them to get on and that I'll push the both of them. When they get enough velocity, I get on the swing in between the two of them and start swinging. I looked at them both and smiled. Candice took my hand and I held it tightly. Her hand fit perfectly in mine.

"Aw!" Amber cooed. You can practically see the hearts bursting out of her eyes.

"Oh lord, here we go." Candice laughs.

The three of us had a blast the entire day. When I finally got home, I freshened up with a shower, then I lay down in bed, getting my phone out to text Amber and Candice.

Had a blast today! Thanks again, you guys.

A couple minutes later, my phone vibrates.

You're welcome! (: Amber replied back.

No, thank you! It was such an amazing day. ❤️ Candice says back.

I didn't bother to reply, feeling as if that's the best ending to that conversation. I just set my phone down beside me on my bed and let myself drift off into a sweet, blissful dream of happiness.

I hope that this feeling doesn't fade away. I haven't felt this amazing in such a long time, and I never honestly thought I'd be happy. So, to get to experience happiness in such a random time in my like makes me feel so lucky.

And for the first time in my life, I realize that dreams actually do come true.

Love always,

The broken image of a boy named Cole.