The Mind of an Insecure Person

10. Cole

May 18th, 2008
3:32 p.m.

Dear diary,

Candice had to work today. So I decided to pay her a visit.

As I pulled into the mall parking lot, I parked my car in the closest parking space and walked into the mall. As I walked into the mall, my heart started skipping a couple beats because of my anxiety kicking in, but I saw Candice at the local pizza parlor in the mall just ahead of me.

Breathe in. Breathe out, I tell myself over and over again as I'm making my way to Candice.

"Hey, cutie." I say, walking up beside her.

"Hey!" She says, happily.

I kissed her and she kissed me back. I still can't get over just how soft her lips really are.

We walk over to the table and sit down. I take a sip of my soda and then we begin to eat our pizza; which, by the way, is the best thing since sliced bread.

"So, I'm finally glad you met my cousin." Candice says to me in-between bites.

"I didn't even know Amber was your cousin until she told me." I laughed. Amber and I finally met towards the end of the school year, but I'm glad that I did meet her.

"Yeah, that's my favorite person in the entire world. We've been inseparable since we were kids." She gives me this meaningful smile and I know just how much she loves Amber.

"I'm glad that I got to meet her," I said, "she's really nice and funny. I'm glad that I get to meet someone meaningful in your life."

At that, she reaches over and grabs my hand. I feel her give it a little squeeze and my heart flutters. I really do love this girl, even if we just met not long ago.

"So," she says, breaking me from my thoughts, "what do you have planned today?"

"Probably just going to relax a little bit, maybe clean. Was going to wait for you to get off of work." I smile at her and interlock our fingers together. I worry in that moment if I have grease on my fingers because of the pizza. I wouldn't want my greasy fingers to ruin the softness of hers.

"Oh, you were?" She teasingly says back to me. I couldn't help but smile at her and her quirkiness.

"Yes, ma'am." I say, smiling. "Just going to go home and suffer these long hours without you." At that, she taps my shoulder and snorts.

Candice realizes at that moment that she snorted and her eyes bulge out and she gasps. I couldn't help but giggle at her.

"Did you just snort?" I say, laughing.

She hits me again and laughs. "I can't help it!" I couldn't help but laugh some more, which caused her to laugh harder.

It's moments like these that I cherish more than anything in life. Since the short beginning of us, I cherished every single moment that most people would look over and not remember. That's what makes me different. I remember things that no one else would remember unless I brought it up and explain in detail how I remember every word and every reaction. I've learned to love that part of myself, though. Loving myself for remembering such small minuscule things that no one else can remember.

"Cole," Candice says, breaking me out of my thoughts once again, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about all the great things about you." I flash a smile at her and she blushes.

"You're so cute." She leans over and kisses me. "I have to get back to work now, but I'll be over later, okay?"

I give her another kiss and nod my head. "Sounds like a plan. I'll be waiting."

At that, she begins to walk away. I can't help but to watch her walk away. I also can't help but to admire her body.

When she's finally out of my eyesight, I begin to make my way back to my car.

Love always,

The broken image of a boy named Cole.