Chim - Turn To Stone

Chapter 8

Eight

She got out of the car and stood by its side, and even though I wasn’t looking at her, I knew she was watching me walk away. I turned round and caught her eye before she looked down to the ground. She looked lost, as if she didn’t know what to do next. I turned away.

I was so confused I could have screamed at the top of my voice. I wanted her to follow me, to run after me and make everything right, but at the same time, I didn’t want her to touch me, not after thinking what she had done.

“Kimberley…” her voice sounded distant in the empty car park. I turned back to her, my face not conveying any of the emotions I was feeling. “I’ll wait forever if I have to” she said… and at that moment the heavens opened.

The rain pelted down on to the floor, soaking everything in its path. Within half a minute my hair was dripping wet and I could feel the rain drops dripping down my neck and soaking in to my t shirt.

I looked up at her, hoping she would be phoning herself a car to pick her up, but she didn’t do anything. Instead, we both stood there looking at each other, at opposite ends of the car park, getting steadily drenched by the rain.

I wanted her to turn away first. I wanted to watch her walk away so that I didn’t have to, but she didn’t. I put the memory of our first kiss to the back of my head, even though the signs seemed to be telling me otherwise.

I walked over to her slowly despite my head telling me to turn back around and go back to my hotel room. I was always the sensible one, the one that followed my head, usually it was Cheryl who followed her heart.

Was she following her heart when she lied to me and betrayed me? I stopped in front of her and looked in to her eyes for a few seconds. She wasn’t my Cheryl any more.

“come up if you want” I said to her, I didn’t intend to say it, but as much as I wanted to be on my own I couldn’t leave her in the car park in the pouring rain. She smiled at me, but I think she knew there was no ulterior motive in my words.

-

The lift journey up to the 8th floor, my floor, was agonising. Neither of us spoke, we stood in the lift like strangers, watching the digital floor numbers ticking over. The lift doors pinged open and be both breathed a sigh of relief. She waited for me to go first and then followed behind me.

“do you want a cup of tea” I asked her as we both walked in to my hotel room. I took my coat off and put it on one of the hooks, then walked over to my little tea’s maid and busied myself by making our drinks.

She put her little coat over the radiator and sat on the side of my bed. We had nothing to say to each other. Normally little silences would occur, but they were always comfortable silences, neither of us feeling the need to fill the air with mundane chatter, yet now, id give anything for mundane chatter.

“do you want me to bring you some more clothes” she asked me, noticing my open little suitcase on the floor with two pairs of jeans and three tops in, all of which I had bought the day before yesterday.

I did, but I wasn’t going to say yes. I knew what her timetable was like for the next week, after all I was the one who used to do it for her, so I could always go to the house when she was out to pick up my things.

“no, I’ll be okay” I told her, passing over a cup of hot tea. I decided to sit on the chair next to my dressing table, close enough to her, but enough to keep my distance.

She looked at the suitcase and then at me quizzically, but knew that I had made my mind up. “how are the dogs” I asked, sipping at my hot drink. I felt my hair beginning to frizz a little because of the rain and I knew that my make up was probably half off my face, but for some reason, I didn’t really care.

“They’re okay” she said with a sad smile, yet another reminded of all the things that we had together. “Kimberley…” she started, before her voice trailed off, thinking twice about what she was going to say.

“don’t” I warned her. I didn’t know what she was going to say, but I knew if it was anything about how sorry she was or how much she loved me I would crumble to pieces.

“I should go” she said, putting her half full cup on the floor and getting up. I nodded my agreement, I really wanted to be alone, to think about what I needed to do next.

She retrieved her coat from the radiator, it was probably still damp but I sensed that she needed to be on her own too. I stood up and walked her to the door. We looked at each other for a brief second, not really knowing what to do.

Then she left. I closed the door behind her and rested against it, feeling as though my legs might buckle underneath me.

Silently I cried, I cried so much that tears rolled down my cheeks and it hurt just to breath. I let myself slide down the door until I crumpled up on the floor. I knew I looked a mess, but I also knew I was alone, and nobody was there to see it.

Nobody was there to pick me up.