Chim - Turn To Stone

Chapter 23

Twenty-three

“you look like s***” I said to Nicola, taking my place at a large table in the hotels restaurant. We had all decided to meet up for breakfast, before moving on to the next venue. Nadine had already arranged to go on ahead in her own car, she hated being cooped up in the tour bus if she didn’t have to be. I didn’t blame her really, it wasn’t as big as our usual ones, there was only enough room for the five of us and the driver, the dancers and our management had their own.

It should have worked out better really. Better for me and Cheryl anyway. When we found out 6 months ago, we were actually pleased, because it meant we could spend some time together without people asking questions. Now though, I would have given anything for a larger bus.

“F*** off” Nicola replied back with a smile that told me she wanted to curl up and sleep for another few hours. She looked paler than she normally did, and just a little bit sick.

I sat across from her and poured myself a glass of orange juice. The dancers were all at the other end of the table making quite a bit of noise, causing Nicola to groan and throw them daggers.

Cheryl walked in after a few minutes. I shifted on my seat nervously and watched her walk to the table. She smiled to everyone as she took a seat opposite me and next to Nicola. I thought she might have had a bit of a hangover, but to my surprise she seemed quite happy.

“you alright Nic”? she asked to Nicola, who was buried under her extra large sunglasses and holding her head in her hands. Nicola took her glasses off and looked at Cheryl, showing her that she was suffering badly from the effects of too much alcohol and not enough sleep. “you look like you’ve seen a ghost” she joked, before looking at me as we all laughed.

She flashed me a smile that made my heart melt. She had this way of making me feel like the only important person in the world when she looked at me, and all it took was a smile, a laugh, a look.

Everyone felt like that with Cheryl, not just me. She was the one everyone wanted to talk to, the one everyone wanted to be like, she was the one everyone wanted. She was the centre of attention without even realising it half the time, but that’s what I loved about her.

That’s what I love about her.

I love the fact that people think she is beautiful and amazing, it made me feel proud. I still think that too, even now. I still think she’s sexy and as near to perfect as anyone could ever be.

-

As soon as we got in the tour bus Nicola crawled in to bed, where she had told us she planned to stay for the entire 6 hour drive. Sarah hadn’t even bothered to get up for breakfast, instead she stayed in bed until the last minute and was already in the tour bus bed when I got there.

I sat on one of the couches and pulled out a magazine from my bag, having no intention of reading it. Cheryl got in last and sat on a seat opposite me. I felt the driver starting the bus and before I knew it, we were on the motorway.

“I waited for you last night” I said eventually, keeping my voice low so as not to disturb the other two. I had the magazine open and I looked at the pictures so I didn’t have to look at Cheryl all the time.

“I wasn’t sure whether you would want me there or not” she said back to me, taking the magazine from out of my hand and putting it in the bin. I looked at her incredulously.

“you never read them” she replied, seeing right through me.

She put her hand on top of mine on the table and squeezed then hard. “talk to me” she said, although it was more of a plea.

“what about?” I asked, suddenly feeling the need to look away from her eyes which were staring intently at me. I had her complete attention, and I didn’t know what to do with it.

“anything that you want to say” she replied simply, keeping her face light and with just the hint of a smile on it to relay some of my worries.

“do you still find me attractive”? I asked her, deciding it was probably best to get straight to the point.

She frowned as if I had just spoke a foreign language. “of course I do” she answered with a little laugh, as if I was being silly for even mentioning it. “so there’s nothing you would change, you know, if you could” I asked.

She sighed heavily and got up from her seat, coming around the little table that was between us and sat next to me. “I wouldn’t change one single thing” she said, her voice telling me she was being sincere.

“I’m sorry…its just…” I managed to get out before I started to cry. She hugged me in to her and stroked my hair soothingly.

“is this about the other night” she asked, hitting the nail firmly on the head. It bothered me that I couldn’t even have sex with my girlfriend. It bothered me that I couldn’t trust her enough to open up to her so emotionally.

I nodded my head but didn’t make any attempt to break way from her embrace. “Kimberley, you don’t need to worry about that babe, its not important to me” she sighed.

But it was important to her. Sex was important to Cheryl. I had to believe that, or else she didn’t just cheat on me for a bit of fun, it went deeper.

“I’m scared” I sobbed in to her shoulder, finding it easier to talk to her like this than looking her in the eye. “I’m scared that you might get sick of waiting and go somewhere else instead”.

She pulled my head backwards a little, forcing me in to making eye contact. She kept one hand cupping my face and used the other to wipe away my tears.

“I’m not going anywhere baby” she said with a sad smile before pulling me back in to her. I’m not sure who instigated it, but the next thing I knew, we were kissing each other. She chewed lightly on my bottom lip before letting her hands fall in to my lap.

I let out the faintest moan as she let her hands slide up my thighs. She kissed me harder, using most of her weight to push me in to the couch. I closed my eyes and let myself concentrate on the feeling of Cheryl’s lips on my own.

She finished the kiss and looked at me expectantly, as if I was going to pull away and move, but I didn’t. I could tell she wasn’t really sure what to do.

I pulled her head in to me and kissed her on the neck before bringing my lips to her ear and whispering in to it.

“don’t stop”.