Chim - Turn To Stone

Chapter 13

Thirteen

“I love you so much” I cried in to her shoulder. It was as if I wasn’t in control of my emotions any more, and I knew that I probably wouldn’t stop crying for a good while. She lifted my chin up and wiped my eyes before edging me in to Nadine’s hall way, safely out of sight of the paparazzi who always seemed to be following Cheryl around.

I found my way to the sofa and even though I knew I should at least attempt to stop crying, I just couldn’t. I felt her sitting next to me and without even being asked, I let myself fall in to her.

I didn’t think it was possible for me to shed any more tears than I had over the last few days, but I was wrong. I knew I needed it though, I needed to get everything out before I could even think about moving on.

She held me tightly to her chest and cried along with me.

“I’m so sorry baby” she sobbed, letting her hand comb through my hair. I lifted my head up and grabbed a tissue before forcing myself to stop crying.

“I cant go back to the house” I told her, scrunching the tissue up in my hands. “you don’t have to, we can get somewhere different” she replied, letting me go from her embrace.

I nodded, it was the only way it would work. Our house held too many bad memories for me, memories that would probably never be covered up by the memories from the box. “I really do want this to work” I said to her, putting my hand on to her knee. I felt the urge to kiss her but I didn’t, it was way to soon for anything like that.

“it will work Kimberley, I will make it work” she said with determination in her voice. She picked the box up off the floor and opened the lid, looking in at all the things inside. She picked up the broken heel and looked at it for a long moment before a smile broke on to her face.

“remember this?” she said, looking at me. “I never told you how beautiful you looked that night” she said with a fond smile. “that’s because I looked hideous” I laughed a little.

“you never look anything but amazing” she told me, putting the broken heel back in to the box. “I never knew you kept all that stuff” I said, gesturing to the box. I could see her blush a little bit before she shrugged her shoulders. “maybe we should start a new box” I suggested, realising that things like this were obviously important to her.

“I’d like that” she smiled, and for the first time in a long while it reached her eyes, giving them an instant sparkle.

-

I woke up and for the first time since…well I couldn’t remember when, I actually heard the birds singing. It made me smile to myself as I listened to them chirping happily outside Nadine’s windows.

Cheryl had gone back to our house but she had promised to speak to an estate agent to get it put up on the market so that we could move somewhere different. It was a bit quick, but I knew the sooner we moved, the sooner things could start getting back to normal.

She had stayed for about an hour and we had talked a lot, although admittedly, mostly about the past. The new house would be my chance to look to the future, something I never expected to be able to do.

I was quite happy.

I couldn’t shift a small little niggle that I had at the pit of my stomach though, it was as if it was there to remind me not to forget. It was the thing that kept me remembering that moment, when I walked in and saw…what I saw.

I hoped that it would go soon, but secretly wondered if it might actually be there forever.

They say you can forgive but not forget after all, and as yet, I had done neither, but I knew I was on the road to forgiveness. It was in my reach, but it would take a while to get there. Trust was another matter entirely. I had to accept the fact that I probably would never trust Cheryl 100% anymore, id always have my doubts, something that you should never have to live with, but I knew I would.

Nadine knocked on the door and popped her head in. She smiled at me before saying good morning. “you look a lot happier today” she said, coming in to my room. She knew that I had decided to try and give it another go with Cheryl, and I knew she thought I had made the right decision.

It meant a lot to me, what Nadine and the other girls thought. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in a problem that I can’t see the wood for the trees, so it was nice to know that my friends thought I had done the right thing.

She had just had a shower and I could smell the fresh soap on her skin as I pulled her playfully on to my bed. “I am happier” I laughed, suddenly finding that I was actually happy to be awake today.

I rubbed my stomach under the duvet and prayed that the little pain in the very centre, the pain that I knew signified my doubt and unease would go away soon.