The Red Bullet Queen

//Ghosts Of The Past III//

//Ghosts Of The Past III//
-Jessica Murrieta Point of View-
//FLASHBACK//

You're fine. You're okay. You're alright. I inhaled. Nothing to be scared of. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to fear. I exhaled.

Shot, shot, shot. Bang, bang, bang. Hard, cold bullets digged into the target deep, leaving noticible traits.

The red, bright and flashy, annoying spot was still playfuly smiling to me. How does it dare to stare at me like that, with that grin?

I put the gun down. It's enough for today. Not this useless cardboard circle is my real target. The one I wanted to get wasn't here.

To be honest I didn't know where he was. Or how he looked. What's his name. I knew nothing about him. But still, I hated him. I felt burning anger in my throat. It was about to come out as a scream.

If I wouldn't have found that letter... maybe I would have still looked at my sister, I'm sorry my mom, I feel so weird saying that, with the same eyes.
I loved her for how she tried to protect me. I wanted to thank her. Even though the light I saw her in, has changed I still loved her more than anyone.

The truth was poking my eyes. My own mother had to pretend to be my, sister just to protect me. And it's all caused by an asshole of my father.

If my grandparent's wouldn't have owned this gun shop, I don't know how I would have eased my anger.

"Jessica."

My mom showed up from behind the door. My heart skipped and I froze. Secods later as she picked up the gun from the ground, I realizee that I had unintentionally dropped it.

She was looking at me with the same warm expression, with the same loving smile. I was fighting with myself as I couldn't decide wether I should tell her that I found the letter or not.

You are someone, who made me regret my life. Do you know what a horrible feeling it is? You probably don't. Because you don't care. You have a family. I know you do. And sometimes I wonder if they are as worthless for you as I am for you. I can't stop thinking that maybe you are just an asshole and don't care about everybody equally, but little voice in my head keeps on screaming that it's me, who did something to deserve the fear you made me feel. It's me, who is responsible for the horror that came after me with a mask for a face of yours.
You ruined my life and now you're enjoying yours with that family. But I'm not alone either. I have my family too and all though I had to hide the truth from my own daughter, to pretend to be her sister, she is the only great thing in my life. She is not only great. She is everything to me. And unfortunetelly, you were the one, who gifted her to me. You hurt me, but my child, don't you ever dare to call her your child, you never did anything good to her, she eased that pain.

The letters were burrning in my mind as my mom stood in front of me still with a gun in her hand waiting for me to speak.

I slowly took it from her and carefully put it away just in case. She was still smiling, I put my hands on both of her arms and inhaled preparing for an inprovised speech.

"Mom, I love you."

I said very seriously and looked straight into her eyes with hot tears in mine. She turned so white, like a paper piece, in just one second, I thought blood stopped rushing in her veins.

"Jessica, what are you-"

"I know everything, I love you."

I repeated and saw her cheeks gaining back color. Soon enough we were embracing one another tightly sobbing on the floor. I haven't cried in a very, very long time...

"I love you too sweetie."

//END OF THE FLASHBACK//

I hit the mirror in the practice room with my fist and angrily gnashed at my reflection. I didn't trust mirrors. They were lying to me for the bigger part of my life.

They knew what was going on behind my back all that time, but they didn't reflect the reality. They didn't warn me about the monsters hiding in the dark behind me.

They didn't tell me that I will be sucked into the same dark one day too.

Sweat was pouring down my forehead. How long have I been here? Four? Five hours? I didn't know anymore, I lost track of time and stopped caring. What was time when I still needed to work harder and harder to the perfection I was not gonna get any closer if I stop practising just by looking at the clock.

I stepped back from the mirror ready to start repeating the choregrapghy, which I just learned, over again and closed my eyes. I felt warmth on them and as I opened my lids I still couldn't see anything else than the dark.

Monsters, they were hiding there in tha dark caused by someone's palms on my eyes. Or maybe just one. And maybe he wasn't hiding, maybe he just stood behind me covering my eyes. Covering all the other monsters.

"You have worked enough today."

The unfamiliar male's voice spoke. I tried to recognize the tone, the accent, maybe even his scent. No, it didn't work.

"I disagree, now let me go, I need to work."

I could feel him shake as giggle came up his throat and escaped his mouth.

"If you knew, who I was maybe you wouldn't be talking with me like that."

I fought back the urge to snort, or even bettere, elbow him in the ribs and throw him above my shoulder to reveal his face.

"When show me."

I said a little bit fed up.

"Only with two conditions."

He said bitterly laughing and the idea of kicking him seemed way more tempting than before.

"What do you want?"

I tapped my shoe on the floor and asked really annoyed. Few seconds and I'll explode.

"Stop practice for today and... do you have no respect? You didn't call me oppa even once."

I sighed and rolled my eyes even if he couldn't see it.

"I won't. I won't stop and I won't call you that."

He was clearly shocked. But kept himself together. And the next thing that came from his mouth hit me hard.

"I'm not asking this for myself. I know how hard it is to work towards perfection, but you have to know the limits, I know that you want to succeed, but please think about what it's gonna cost to you. All I'm saying is that I worried about you, believe it or not I want to take care of you, please listen."

And with those words he removed his palms. However I was still with my eyes closed. I heard him run off, I heard him bang the door on the way out. I didn't turn around, I didn't open my eyes to see him in the mirror, they would lie anyways. I just tried to let those words sunk in.

"Thank you oppa."

He was the only guy I ever called oppa.

The Author's Note:
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Try to guess the teaser of Jessica and check out her audition! ^-^