Past Lovers

Past Lovers. 10

I've got my groove back, ladies and gent. But that doesn't mean stop sending me your ideas...you guys are the ones who gave me my groove! Please keep the feedback and love coming.

Happy 10th chapter!

And please please please, check out my new book "Barefoot" I could really use some love and support on it! If you liked Childhood Lovers, then you'll love it!

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I hadn't even gone to bed by the time Hayden was up, but I didn't even feel tired. Being around her just made me feel so much more alive. I wanted to do more, see more, be more whenever she was around. 

Hayden zombied her way into the kitchen. Her hair was messy, and there were still bags under her eyes, but she still looked absolutely stunning to me. She was never really a morning person.

"Good morning," I cooed, pouring her a cup of freshly made coffee. "Sleep okay?" 

She groaned, as she sat down at the counter. "I could have slept for days," she replied, sipping out of her mug.

"Then why didn't you?" I chuckled.

She shrugged, then lifted her tired eyes to meet mine. "You look like shit. How'd you sleep?"

Once again, I chuckled. I swear, I was the happiest man alive right now. 

"I didn't."

Hayden raised her eyebrows, then gave me her famous crooked smile. But the usual light in her eyes was gone. She sighed, got up from the counter with her mug, and stared out the window. Rain drops continued to tap against the window pane.

"You know, I've always loved the rain," she murmured, very dazed. "The sun always makes me so...sad."

Her words puzzled and fascinated me. I made a mental note to somehow include that in my wriiting.

"I've got nowhere to go," she quivered, looking down at the clouds in her coffee.

"Stay here," I offered. "Please, it's the least I can do."

She turned to face me, with tears in her eyes. "I can't do that..."

"Why not? You're not putting me out in any way. You can have my room, I don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"Why?" She trailed off, her voice trembling. "Because you're my ex-husband. I can't live with my ex-husband."

She made a good point. But I didn't see ourselves as that. We were so much more than labels.

"It doesn't have to be like that..." I reasoned, getting frustrated with the conversation. I wish we could just erase the past. "Look, my intentions are completely honest. If you want, you can stay here while you look for your own place. I'm just trying to help you."

She shook her head. "I don't need your help."

"Then why did you call me last night?" I asked, my voice growing stern.

She let a tear roll down her face. "Because...because you were the only person I wanted to see." She paused briefly, to catch her breath. "I don't know why, I can't explain it."

"Hayden," I sighed. "That's understandable. We were best friends long before we were anything else. And no matter what, throughout it all, you'll always be my best friend. That will never change, it never has. No matter how long I go without seeing you, no matter how far away you are from me, no matter what has happened. I don't know if you still feel the same way that I do, but --"

She cut me off. "I do..."

"Then stay...not as my ex-wife, but as my friend."

She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears. "Are you sure?"

"Yes..." I nodded. "Look Hayden, I only want to make you comfortable and happy. I don't need anything more than your friendship. I don't need a wedding ring to want to spend eternity with you. I just want to be best friends...forever."

"I'd like that," she replied, with a meek smile. 

I smiled back. The pieces were finally falling into place.

We spent the whole day together inside, hiding from the rain. We played monopoly, danced to our favorite records, and even tried to bake a cake. Key word being tried, it ended up coming out like soup.

We laughed together like the old times. It almost felt like the rain washed away all the bad between us. Until...

"Chase?" Hayden asked, before taking a big gulp of her scotch. She looked up at me, and once again, I saw tears in her eyes. "Why did you do it?"

I paused. "Do what?"

"Why did you cheat on me..." she muttered. I sighed, hoping I would never be asked this question.

"Hayden, we shouldn't talk about this..." I started. "We've had such a good day, can we please not ruin it?"

"I'm not asking to start a fight with you..." she started off fierce, then quickly faded. "I just wanted to know. I keep wondering why Jared did that to me...trying to search for the answer, and it's driving me nuts. I just want to gain some peace of mind, and I figured maybe you guys had the same reason."

I sighed. I really didn't want to talk about it, but if it made her happy.

"You should know, before I say anything, that I have never regretted something so much in my life...I don't know why I did it. I guess I was just so sick of our constant fighting and bickering. We were making each other miserable for a while. And I guess...I had only been with you, and I guess a part of me wanted to see what else was out there. I saw, and by the time I realized I didn't want anyone else, it was too late." Hayden began to cry, and I immediately wished I could take back my words. "Hayden, aw please don't cry. What did I say?"

She shook her head, causing her tears to fall onto the ground. "Nothing...nothing...I don't think those were any of his reasons."

I shrugged. "I don't think so either."

She took a deep breath, sniffled, and wiped her face. "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess, and you have to put up with it."

"I don't mind, honestly," I replied, with a great amount of hope in my voice. "Hey, let's go out, let's go to a bar or something and get this off your mind. What do you say?"