Embracing (A Hunger Games fanfiction)

Peeta's POV

I hear her footsteps padding across the floor. I look up just in time to see her enter the room, a blanket wrapped around her body.

“What are you doing?” She whispers.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I shake my head. “So I thought I’d paint something. This, to be exact.”

I step away from the canvas so she can see.

Her face looks confused for a second before tears fill her eyes.

I study the painting again myself.

While lying curled up in bed with Katniss nestled in my arms, an image kept appearing in my head. Just like it did right after the games. I told my therapist in the Capitol about it and he encouraged me to paint what I see.

So I did that.

The painting is of Katniss and Prim in the meadow near their house.  Katniss standing by the fence and Prim sitting cross-legged on the ground. Both have a dreamy look in their eyes as if they are both dreaming or in a trance. Though a beautiful image, it is haunting.

I turn away from it and face Katniss again. She seems to have shrunk two sizes and I can see her nails digging into her own arms.

“Hey,” I shuffle over to her. “I’m sorry.”

“No don’t be,” she buries her face in my chest. “It’s really beautiful. It’s just….”

“Just?”

“Prim,” her voice cracks. I tighten my arms around her shaking figure until it subsides.

“Go back to bed,” I tell her gently. “I’ll just finish up.”

“I need to talk to you,” she looks up sharply and grey eyes meet blue. Determination reflects into mine.

“Okay,” I blink slightly dazed.

I follow her out the painting room and back into our bedroom. She sits down on the edge of the bed and I sit on the floor in front of her.

Katniss inhales deeply and then launches into a rant.

“I owe you a big explanation Peeta. About many things. But I’ve been working up the courage to explain this one so I’m going to do just that. Don’t interrupt me please or I won’t get it out.” She pauses for breath before beginning again.

“I know you want children. I saw how happy you looked yesterday holding Finnick's baby. You looked happier then I’ve ever seen you really.” I open my mouth to say something, anything, but she keeps going.

“What I’m trying to say is, I do want children, too. Badly. I keep having dreams of holding a little baby in my arms the way I held Finnicks and Annie’s. But each dream ends terribly. Something always happens. Like a fire is set and I can’t get the baby out, or the Capitol takes control again and our baby’s chosen for the games. Everything is similar. Murder, starvation and death. Always death.”

She finally stops for a deep breath.

“Go on,” I reach up and touch her arm.

“I’ve explained everything I suppose,” her head dips. “But I’m also asking you for help. I need help to control this fear, Peeta. I can’t let it control me all the time. We’re all finally free and who cares if it’s just for a moment? The point is, we have a chance to live in a way we have never before and we need to take it.”

“Soo…” I blink.

“I want a baby,” she meets my eyes. My heart drops in shock and I even hear my mouth flop open.

“If you want one,” her hands rise up.

“Yes,” I’m somehow on my knees and now direct height with her. “Yes, yes, yes.”

My hands reach out to tangle in her luscious brown hair and I pull her face to mine. She slips of the bed until she to be kneeling and we embrace each other tighter.