If it wasn't clear enough, our relationship had developed. We had been 'going out' for a month and two weeks or so. And after our first kiss, you just couldn't stop kissing me. In the halls before class when you'd walk me and no one was looking, smooch! Oh, when we'd go to the movies and made out too much so eventually, we got kicked out. It was either that or your big mouth.
Secretly, I believed that you kissed me so much because you were comparing my lips to someone else's. As if I when I was getting used to kissing, you were getting used to my lips, Jeonghan.
Everything was going smoothly with us. Until you decided to bring a very uncomfortable topic up one day. We were in school, in an empty classroom. My friends weren't around and neither was yours. It was perfect for us. After all, we were hiding our relationship. "I want you to tell your friends about me," I recall you saying, kissing the top of my head. You took my hand in yours and kissed my hand too.
"All of them? Even Hansol!" I screeched, panic had arisen within me. "Especially Hansol!" You had exclaimed. Writing this now, I laugh. Now I realize that you were always jealous of my relationship with Hansol. The jealousy didn't just develop. How close we were, how there were areas I'd never let you touch or things I'd never talk about with you, but you knew I would with Hansol. Just to make you feel worse: anything I never told you, things I never let you do, within a heartbeat I'd let Hansol do so. I trust him.
"Do I have to? If I do, when will you?" All these questions had filled up my mind at the time. To be honest, these were the only two I remember right now though. "I already told them." That line right there broke my heart.
You told your friends about me. You were proud to be with me. Proud enough to tell your friends about me and deal with judging comments. I found it inspiring, amazing really. Now I mock you, now I laugh. You were proud enough of our relationship to tell your friends, but not proud enough to formally ask me out? But now I mock myself too, for letting myself get taken away by you.
Anyway, can I let you in on a secret? The moment you told me to tell my friends I was terrified. Hell, it was so bad I was considering leaving you. But...I didn't. Guess I liked you too much.
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Edited August 8th, 2016
Revisited August 23rd, 2018
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Left Behind | JiHan
FanfictionIn a way, Jisoo kind of saw it coming. The way Jeonghan would act, the way he distanced himself. The way things began to change. The hugs and stares that were at one point only meant for him were now directed to Seungcheol. In a way, it broke his he...
