All My Love

Chapter 35

"Becca... We need to leave now." My father says quietly, staring down upon me curled up in a ball on this uncomfortable, ugly, green chair in the waiting room.

It's been almost three hours since being told that my brother was no longer living and I'm still trying to really process it. My brother won't be coming home. Ever. He won't be calling me up to tell me about his unbelievable adventurous nights. He won't be trying to get me to party hard with him. He won't be coming back to squeeze me hello or goodbye. I won't be able to hear his voice, even his annoying slurs when he's completely wasted. It is absolutely insane that he's actually gone. My brother is gone and I'm sitting here staring down at the hospital carpet of the waiting room, feeling more numb than ever. I want a hug but not just any hug. I just can't tell if I want a Harry hug or a Drew hug, or both.

"C'mon." My father whispers, grabbing my hand and pulling me to unravel off of the seat. He wraps his arm around my back, pulling me in close as I stare off in a blank stare without paying attention to anything else around me.

•••

Today is Thanksgiving. A day where we're supposed to be grateful for our friends, family and everything that surrounds us. It's not like that for me, at least. It's Drew's favorite day, his favorite day to overly stuff himself to the point where he can't make it off the couch. Today isn't right. It doesn't feel like it's an actual holiday and it probably won't ever feel the same again.

Drew is supposed to be here, fighting over the bathroom from the amount of time I'm using in it. Instead, I'm staring at myself in the mirror, wearing a cream colored turtle neck and black shorts that go up to my belly button that belong to my mother. I didn't bother going back to my apartment. My hair isn't even done like it would be, it's just naturally waved and down below my shoulders. I effortlessly put mascara on, not wanting to have makeup all down my face later.

My grandparents are here and it's been nothing but a nightmare for me. Everyone has been crying since Monday. It kills me seeing my mother break down any time she sees something that reminds her of Drew. I haven't even been to the apartment since we got back Monday night. I've been ignoring all of Stella's calls, I even had one text from Harry asking what happened from the constant ignoring towards Stella but I didn't bother replying to him. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm not in the mood to see anyone. I've been a zombie. I'm locked up in my old room, staring up at the ceiling for hours and hours, blocking out reality. I've been sleeping most of the day away, on Wednesday, I was awake for an hour that day, the rest I slept. I don't know how else to deal with this pain.

I make it into my mother's room to look for a necklace to wear, rummaging through her abnormally large jewelry box that stands in the corner. I'll never understand why she has so many different kinds of jewelry, I'm not even a big fan of it all.

Out of nowhere my phone starts sounding and I look back at it, sitting on her dresser. I shut the door of the box where necklaces hang and hold the small silver heart in my hand, walking over to look down at my phone. Stella's name reads across the screen and I look up at the ceiling, mentally cursing at her. I set the necklace down and slide over the screen to answer.

"Hello?" I speak for the first time today and push some hair behind my ear as I back up before sitting down on the bed my parents own.

"Oh my god, Becca! I've been trying to get ahold do you for days! What the hell happened?" Stella starts going off, not in a bad way, and I close my eyes while I inhale deeply. I hear muffled voices in the background, letting me know she's with her crazy family and I give myself a small smile, remembering how lovely and loud her family is. I always enjoy my time with them.

"My—" I begin to speak but stop as I hear the familiar voice. That thick accent makes its way through the phone and I look down at my arm, noticing the goosebumps rising. I'm still fuming at the fact that Harry left the hospital without giving an explanation as to why he was leaving. I didn't realize how much I needed him next to me that day, it was painful, way too painful to even really express.

"Yeah just hold on—" Stella whispers over and goes back to talking to me. "—What was that?" She asks and I shake my head at myself.

"My brother died." I think I whisper out effortlessly, not really caring if she hears me or not.

"WHAT?!" Stella shouts in my ear, causing me to rip it away quickly before bringing it back.

"I gotta go Stella." I say and take the phone away and down into my lap, hitting the end button before closing my eyes and taking deep breaths to keep myself from crying. My phone starts ringing again and I look down to see Stella's name but I hurry, making it stop sounding with an obnoxious ringtone. I stand up from the bed and set my phone down before picking up the necklace and leaving the room.

"Rebecca, you look great." My grandma smiles widely at my good enough messy put together while I make it out to them in the kitchen. Her arms are wide open for settling in for a hug and I do just that before giving her and everyone around me a fake smile that's hopefully convincing.

"So do you." I give her a warm smile, looking at her slacks and purple blouse before turning to my mother, dishing mashed potatoes in a glass bowl. I look over to the living room to see my father and grandpa, talking about, I'm assuming, cars or football... Or their favorite, politics. "Is anyone else coming?" I ask and my mom shakes her head no, as she pours gravy into the serving cup where it belongs.

"Melissa is way too pregnant to get out of bed—" My mother laughs to herself and I smile at the fact that any day my aunt will pop. "—Her and Mitchell send their love though." She smiles at me and I return it, picking up the mashed potatoes to set on the table.

"I'm still surprised she doesn't know what she's having." My grandma says when I make it back to the kitchen.

"Knowing aunt Mel, she probably does know." I make a joke and she smiles, leaning into me and wrapping her arm around me. As my smile fades away, there's a knock at the door and I look back before looking at my mom and grandma. "I thought you said no one else was coming?" I bring my eyebrows together, backing away to go answer the door. When I make it to the door and open it up, my eyes light up.

"Becca!" A small shriek escapes my little cousin and she runs in wrapping her arms around my thighs. A smile paints itself on my face when I look up to see my very pregnant aunt Melissa and uncle Mitchell, holding pies with smiles on their faces.

"I... I thought—" I begin.

"—You guys really thought just because I'm severely pregnant I wouldn't come to our favorite family holiday?" Mel says and walks in, leaning over to give me a hug before she passes me. Mitchell does the same and I shut the door, smiling like an idiot.