All My Love

Chapter 41

| Becca |

"STOP! Stop right there Harry!" Stella yells down the hall and I gulp, keeping my eyes glued to Stella who looks beyond the words of being angry. "Come back here." She says sternly and I look to the floor as Harry makes his way to stand next to me. "I'm not doing this out here." Stella shakes her head, crossing her arms and stepping out of the way of the front door.

I take a deep breath and walk in, hearing Harry's boots hit the hardwood flooring behind me. I sit down on the right side of the couch, with Harry on the other end of it. Stella paces back and forth with her hand up to her chin, leaving the room full of silence for about ten minutes.

"Stella—" Harry finally speaks, breaking the silence but she holds her hand up.

"Tell me." She faces him and I keep my eyes on the remote that sits on the coffee table.

"Tell you what?" I hear Harry ask and glance over at him furrowing his eyebrows and leaning forward with his arms out. "Tell you that I fucked your best friend for a year without any of you guys knowing?" Harry starts raising his voice and stands from the couch.

"Harry." I spit out his name, tasting the venom behind my tone of voice. He looks over at me and then back at Stella who is already crying.

"No, I'm not going to tip-toe around this and make sure to lay it on gently. She wants to know. Yes I fucked her here and there but I'm with you now." Harry says and then locks eyes with Stella. I cringe at his use of words and look up at the ceiling before shooting up from the couch. I go to step by Harry stops me. "No, you don't get to leave."

"You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. You used me, remember?" I feel my voice raising and take a deep breath, calming myself down. I don't want to do this.

"What?" Stella butts in and I look over at her before glancing at Harry and then shaking my head.

"It's nothing." I say, feeing embarrassed that her boyfriend used me for so long and that was his only plan.

"What do you mean he used you?" Stella asks more sternly and my eyes shoot over to Harry who looks at me with desperate eyes, hoping I keep quiet. I squint over at him, in disbelief that he's acting this way that I have to keep quiet when honestly this is all his fault.

"Go on Harry, tell her. Tell her how you were so torn up because of some bitch from England that you took something so delicate from me just to get over her." I throw my hand up towards Stella and Harry gives me hooded eyes before taking a hard swallow and I watch as his nostrils flare. "Oh and just so you know, your boyfriend doesn't believe in love so if I were you, I'd hold my breath when it comes to telling him you love him—" I tell Stella and push my hair back behind my ear. "—And I can tell you this right now, he's not going to say it back."

"Bloody hell, you're so fucking obsessed with me." I hear Harry whisper to himself and he looks over at me. I can see the trigger getting ready to be pulled. Ready to shoot over my way. "We fucked repeatedly, you fell in love with me, I broke your heart, blah, blah, blah. Get the fuck over it already, you're annoying me with your constant puppy eyes whenever I see you. I'm not going to love you so stop trying to make it happen." Harry spills and I feel it hit me.

The words hit my heart like no other and I'm taken aback by them. My mouth is parted and I try to speak but nothing comes out, it's only getting stuck at the back of my throat. It's like I can't breathe. No matter how hard I try to gasp for air, it doesn't happen. I'm completely still. I'm completely run down from the constant crying that it's not rushing out like usual. I step back a couple times and can't hear anything around me except for an ongoing ring.

"Becca—" Stella says with sorrow and I close my eyes before rushing passed the two of them and running out of the apartment. I feel like a fool. An idiotic human being that thought, maybe, just maybe one day Harry and I could end up together. I was wrong. So so wrong. I didn't expect tonight to go like it did. I was expecting a night of Netflix and popcorn. A night without seeing Harry in my apartment. A night where I could just be relaxed and not have a fluttering heart every two minutes from anxiety.

When I push open the doors out to the freezing December air, I finally gasp for it.

I bend over, keeping myself up by my knees and take quick breaths. Our friendship was a lie. A complete and utter lie. I was so blinded by him that I never saw his true colors because I didn't want to know the real truth behind his soul.

I drive around for a couple hours, trying to figure out what to do or where to go.

The only place that I end up at is the beach, a place I used to go to quite often to just sit and think.

I hold myself and step into chilled sand, keeping my eyes on the reflection of the moon on the water. My hair flies all over the place, causing me to pull it up in an ugly bun on top of my head before I pull my hood up. My teeth begin to shatter and I walk a mile down the shore before finally giving up with strength and falling to my knees. The tears finally begin to fall and I curl into a ball, sitting up, and I stare out into the ocean, rocking back and forth as my focus becomes a sudden blur.

I wish nothing more than to call my brother up right now and cry into his ear, telling him how bad my heart has been broken. I'd give nothing else than to see Harry get beaten to the pulp but at the same time, I want nothing but his happiness.

I pull my phone out and sniff, blinking my eyes to get a clear picture of my screen and pull up Michael's contact. Just as I hit the call button, I feel a presence behind me and snap my head back to see Harry standing there, covered with his bulky jacket and hair flying all over the place. I lock my phone and struggle to get up and away from him, keeping my hands out.

"Stay away from me." I say between my teeth and the sniffs.

"I broke up with Stella." Is the only thing he speaks, disobeying my command to stay away. He walks closer the more I step back and I shake my head.

"Just leave me alone." I cry out and he stuffs his hands in his pockets of his jacket.

"You're right, I won't love her." Harry's tone of voice is low, lower than it has ever been and I swallow down the lump in my throat to speak.

"You won't. You can't love anyone but yourself." I shout over the wind and I watch as he nods.

"I'm sorry for what I said back there." Harry yells over the waves that became much louder than a minute ago. "I didn't mean it!"

"How am I supposed to believe you? I don't believe anything anymore. You're a compulsive liar Harry." I yell, still backing away but he stops walking, letting me stop.

"No more lies. From this day on, I won't lie to you." Harry tells me and I squint, from the burning of my eyes. I shake my head and take a breath.

"You're right, you won't because I want nothing to do with you. You've ruined everything. You've ruined me and you don't give a shit." I yell and he furrows his eyebrows in pain, something I enjoy seeing now.

I wait for Harry to speak but nothing comes from his pink lips. I look around and bite my tongue.

"You can't even deny that you ruined me and that don't give a shit." I let out an unbelievable laugh and freeze once I see him rush my way. "What—" I begin but his warm hands cup my cheeks, pressing his lips against mine, taking me off guard. I push at his chest, struggling to get him off of me.

"Kiss me back." Harry says, before planting his lips back again. I struggle some more and my body stops my arms from fighting before my brain can process it. I snap out of the electric feeling from his lips and go back to pushing him. I finally get him to get off of me and I cry. I cry looking at him.

"You need to stay away from me." I weakly say and look away from him, putting my hands in my hoodie pocket and walk away from him.