All My Love

Chapter 54

My heart is pounding, my mind is racing, and I can't get any bit of courage to look up at Harry who just learned what he said to me last night. I can't manage to look at his face only to be rejected for the thousandth time by him. I can't deal to hear him tell me that it's not like he meant any of that last night. I can't deal with heartbreak from him. I'm stupid. I'm really stupid. I don't know why I keep crawling back. I'm getting tired of it. I'm only doing all this to myself.

"Oh." Harry says in what almost sounds like a question and my head snaps up.

Oh my God. He doesn't remember. My face turns red and the nausea starts. He looks away from Michael and looks down at me. I can't even respond. I'm so humiliated. Harry takes my silence as a chance to take us away from our friends and back into his bedroom, for privacy.

Harry stands outside of his door, waiting for me to creep inside the dim room. I take a step in and he shuts the door behind the two of us.

"When... When did I say that?" Harry asks me stepping in front of the end of his bed. I stay close to the door, making sure to avoid eye contact. I can't even get myself to look at him. I'm so embarrassed. He must think I'm a lunatic who is utterly obsessed with him. "Becca, what the hell happened last night?" His voice reaches me and I peak over at him through my peripheral's. He's staring at me before looking down at the floor, furrowed brows as he tries to recall his drunken night.

"It... It doesn't matter. You obviously didn't mean it when you told me you loved me." I say quieter than expected. My eyes tear up and I blink a few times, wanting to hide them.

"What?" Harry asks and I hear him walk over to me. I continue to avoid looking at him. "Look at me, please." His voice faint. I feel his fingers grab ahold of my chin gently, trying to get me to look him. I do my best to avoid him succeeding and he keeps moving his head with my face, seeking. "Are you crying?" His tone full of sorrow. "Bec, c'mere." He stands up straight and immediately wraps his arms around my neck to pull me into his chest.

"No, please Harry..." The tears start to fall as I try to push him off of me, defeated over the humiliation. He's only making it worse.

Harry obliges my plead and let's go of me, taking a couple steps back from me. A sniff from me is sound and I force myself to look at him.

"Last night... Last night you called me and practically begged for me to come to your father's—" I can't recognize my voice from the hurt it holds. "—You were clearly drunk and took me to your old bedroom there, getting sentimental about the telescope you have... You confessed you were in love with me and... And I fell for it. I always fall your stupid games. I should've known it was too good to be true." I finish my short remembrance and I watch as his eyebrows furrow again, hoping the night would rejoin him. His eyes wonder when trying to put the pieces together. His silence only makes a tear fall down my cheek that I quickly wipe away.

Harry sits down at the edge of his bed and runs his hand down mouth and chin, in shock.

"I... Told you that I'm in love with you?" Harry asks me to reverify and I almost want to laugh. Is this some sick game of his that he finds funny? As if he could ever be in love with me? I suck in my lips and look up at the ceiling to dodge anymore tears that might fall. I can't let him mortify me any longer.

"I can't do this." I tell him and turn around, stepping to the bedroom door to leave.

"I.. I'm sorry I can't remember Becca—" Harry's voice enters the quiet room. "—But..." He adds and suddenly my hand stops from turning the knob. I dare myself to look back at him. I watch as he starts nervously running his hand through his hair, pushing it back. He purses his lips and looks up at the ceiling in a deep breath.