Discovery

Chapter 4

By the time Xander and Cordelia arrived at the library, not far behind Angel, Willow was on the computer, searching through records as she tried to find her birth parents. Buffy and Giles sat on the other side of the desk, researching demons and prophesies respectively.
"So, what are we looking up tonight, G-man?" Xander asked, flopping into a chair, while Cordy daintily sat in his lap.
"Nothing in particular, Xander. Just keeping track of prophesies and potential demon threats, and don't call me by that horrid name."
"Sure thing," Xander absent mindedly said, before turning to face Willow, "How are you this fine evening Wills?"
"Great, I got a reply back from the adoption agency. I have parents." Willow excitedly handed the piece of paper to Xander for him and Cordy to read. They read it together, before they passed it to Angel for him to read.
"Willow, this is great. You have names, ages, and what they worked as, or at least, what your dad worked as. You have a idea on where to look." Cordy said, tapping into Willow's enthusiasm. Xander had a big grin on his face.
"Your dad was a soldier boy; there might be something on him on the military database." "What military database?" Giles asked, puzzled.
"The one that I remember the passwords for from when I was soldier boy at Halloween. "Oh, right. I'd forgotten about that."
"I'll get on that once I'm done here. It's a missing people database." "Why are you looking at a missing people database?"
Willow paused, before shrugging, "I've just got a gut feeling, and my gut feelings usually turn out to be accurate."
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"Oh my God" Willow murmured to herself as she stared at the computer screen. She was in her room at Buffy's house, lying on her bed, her laptop opened up in front of her. It was in the early hours of the morning, and she hadn't been able to sleep, so she had got out her computer and continued her search for her parents. She was still trawling though the missing person's records, following what her gut was telling her, her instinct, as she liked to call it.
And it had paid off. She had found a missing person report for her mother, dated about five months before Willow's birthday. Willow felt a pang of pity in her chest when she realized that her mother had probably run away from home when she'd discovered she was pregnant with Willow. There was a photo attached to the document, and Willow smiled when she saw her mother's face. Willow looked almost exactly like her mother, with a few subtle differences. Willow scanned through the information the database gave. Carmen Stuart had grown up in suburban Philadelphia. She'd been a straight A student, and had been class valedictorian when she'd graduated from high school. She'd gone to college, and was majoring in literature, but had vanished during her first year. Foul play had been suspected, but no-one had been suspected, and there wasn't enough evidence, so the case had gone cold.
Willow noticed an attachment and clicked on it. Her eyes filled with tears as she read. It was an autopsy report as well as a coroners report. Six years after Willow had been born, a set of human remains had been found in an old cave not far out of Charleston, where Willow had been born. They were what was left of Willow's birth mother. Time of death had been estimated at between six and twelve months after Willow's birth, and cause of death had been recorded as a suicide.
Carmen Stuart had killed herself just over six months after having and giving up Willow. Willow sobbed and tears welled in her eyes before rolling down her cheeks for the mother Willow had never known. Willow buried her head into her pillow as she cried. A few minutes later, she heard the bedroom door open, and Buffy came in, carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. She passed one to Willow, before closing Willow's bedroom door.
"Buffy, did I wake you?" Willow quietly asked. Buffy smiled.
"Yeah, slayer hearing never really turns off. It's okay though, you need a friend, and I'm right here. What's wrong?"
"My, my mom. She's, she's dead. Willow started crying again and buried her head into Buffy's shoulder. Buffy rubbed Willow's back reassuringly as she read the reports.
"Aw, God Wills, I'm so sorry." Buffy said consolingly.
"You couldn't have done anything, it isn't your fault."
"It's not yours either. Willow, you were, what, six months old when she died."
"If she hadn't got pregnant with me, she'd still be at home; she wouldn't have dropped out and run off."
""Willow, it isn't your fault. No-one blames you."
"My dad might. Maybe he loved her so much, but then he had to go away to war, and then when he comes back, she would already be gone. I wrecked his life as well."
"Willow, snap out of it, okay. Your mom loved you, I know she did, and I bet your dad does too, wherever he is. Did you find anything on him?"
"No, I've been focusing on my mom."
"Do you want some help?"
"No, I think I'm done. The hot chocolate is making me tired."
"At least we know who you look like now, huh Wills. You look just like your mom. She was so pretty."
"I guess. Thank-you Buffy" Willow smiled sheepishly at the blonde slayer. "No problem, Wills. I'm your friend, what are friends for?"
Willow put her computer away and snuggled beneath the covers.
"Goodnight Wills" Buffy murmured. Willow nodded and switched off the light as Buffy left the room carrying the now empty mugs. She carried them back to the kitchen and put them in the sink, before moving back up to her own bed and going back to bed.
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The next day at school, Willow found it near impossible to concentrate on her lessons, attracting several slightly concerned but still aloof glances from her teachers. Only Jenny Calender had any idea what was making her star pupil so distracted. Giles had told her about Willow's discovery that she wasn't her parent's real daughter weeks ago, and she knew Willow's highly distracted state was somehow connected. As the class drew to a close, Jenny glanced at Willow.
"Willow, could I please have a word with you after class?"
"Sure," Willow sighed, knowing that she hadn't been paying attention. As the rest of the class packed up their books, shooting curious glances at the usually attentive redhead, Willow prepared herself for the scolding she was about to receive. As much as she knew Ms. Calender outside of a classroom, she knew that her inattentiveness that day in class had been inexcusable.
Once the classroom had emptied of the other students, Jenny Calender got up and crossed the room to the door, pushing it closed, before she turned to face Willow. She walked back to her desk and leaned casually against it.
"Willow, you haven't been yourself today, is anything wrong?"
"I just didn't sleep well last night," Willow said, swallowing nervously. She didn't really want to say her reasons for her distress, saying it out loud would just make it more real, so she simply lied. The only flaw in her plan was the fact that she was a hopeless liar.
"Willow, you can trust me, I know what your Scooby Gang is facing at the moment, Rupert has been keeping me informed."
"Has he been keeping you informed with what's happening with me personally?" Willow quietly asked.
"He did mention you were going through a hard time at the moment. Willow, if you need to talk, I'm happy to listen, no matter how petty is seems."
"I'm adopted; my parents only adopted me to better their own careers, they don't care about me, and I found out last night that my mother committed suicide not long after I was born. My dad was a nineteen year old soldier, and I don't know how to find him, and he probably doesn't want me now anyway. He's probably got a wife and kids that he loves. He's not going to want the daughter he fathered just out of high school." Willow burst into tears, and Jenny was immediately was at her side, rubbing her back soothingly. Willow buried her head into Jenny's shoulder and cried, feeling her tears soaking into her teacher's shirt.
"Shh, Willow, I'm sure you father will love you. He might not even know of your existence. What's his name?"
"Seeley. Seeley Booth." Willow managed to say between her sobs. "Do you know where he lives?"
Willow shook her head, and Jenny rubbed her back soothingly.
"He was a soldier, the army keeps record of where all past solders live, he'll be easy to find, I'm sure."
"What if he's dead too? What if he didn't make it back and that's why my mom killed herself and gave me up."
"If he is dead, Willow, you have all the family you'll ever need right here in Sunnydale. Xander, Buffy, Rupert, Cordelia, Angel, and Me. We're family, even if we're not related by blood. Blood doesn't matter."
Willow looked up at Jenny's face, and the teacher smiled reassuringly. Willow smiled weakly back at her.
"Thank-you Miss Calender." Willow said, picking up her books. "It's my pleasure, Willow. It really is."