Asylum

Chapter 14

Mr. Gilinsky

I look around for him, my angel. I run around this goddamn asylum, looking around for my beauty. I search and search hearing yelling and screaming from unfamiliar voices. I was then stopped by the same nun and threw me into the closet Madison.

"Hey, Mr. Gilinsky," she said handing roaming my body,"Do you want to come by my chamber?"

"Lay another finger on me and you will become one of my lab rats," I said annoyed.

She back away and left me in peace. I rolled my eyes and kept looking. I ran back to his chamber and I see him laying down on his bed. I check if he was breathing, and he was. I sat in there, waiting for him to wake up, so I can explain. My arms start to itch, I look around before lifted my sleeves. I expose the many lines on my arms, but I still want to make more.

I took out my blade and was about to start making my artwork when I heard someone walking up, so I put it away. I look over and I see my beauty wake up. When he realize I was sitting over him, he immediately ran to a corner of the room and started to cry. I came closer and he started screaming to go away.

"Please do not hurt me!" He screams on the top of his lungs.

"I would never hurt you," I said taking hold of his hand.

He stops squirming and looks up at me. Terror is all I see in his deep blue eyes. He was frightened, not angry, but why? He shook from my grip and back into another corner of the room. I look down and try to touch him, but he flinched, moving away from me.

"Jack, what is wrong?" I asked confused.

"How do you know my name, when I have never met you?" He asked.

Freeze!

What the fuck?! This is hell on earth. He does not remember me, how can he not remember me? We spent endless amount of hours together. I made him actually live for the first time. I wanted to tell him today that I had feelings for him, I wanted to call him mine, and break him free from this prison. This beauty needs to be expose to this God-forsaken world. I wanted to show people there still is beauty and he is the prove.

Play.

"What do you mean?" I asked baffled," You do not remember me?"

"N-No, I do not," he said lip quivering,"Please, do not experiment on me."

"I would never," I said seriously.

He hold his hands tightly and feeling tears brimming my eyes. He looked very scared, but want to comfort me. He take his hand out of my grasp and slowly moved his hand to my face. He smiles faintly at me which made me smile.

"You seem lovely, but I do not remember you," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"I wish you would remember," I said breaking down,"You have no idea how much you mean to me, how much I care for you, how much I--"

I could not finish that sentence because I was overwhelmed with anxiety and depression. I start hyperventilate, thinking my baby will be gone forever. He will never remember how much fun we had. I want my lovely back, my only ray of sunshine.

For the next few hours, I tell him about what we use to do, to see if this would jog his memory. I showed him all the activities we use to do together. He was amused, but he did not remember. He oddly still remembered how to do the problems. We then listened some songs, he remembers the lyrics perfectly, but does not remember me. I tried everything to help have his memory back.

"I still do not remember you," he said saddened by this,"I am actually kind of tired."

"Yeah, go ahead sleep," I said as I am slowly dying inside.

He hugs me and goes to his cot to sleep. As I am on my phone, I watch him as he dozes off into his slumber. My heart is broken into a million pieces, my eyes are bloodshot, and my body is weak. I was very much going insane, I curl up in a ball, twitching a little. I actually felt like my sanity is slowly fading away.

I wish he would remember, I wish he would know that he is mine, I wish he and I can go to Neverland together, leaving this dead society forever. I wish I could do something to make him remember. I wish I stopped him and explain, then this whole mess would not of happened. I am the cause of my insanity. I am the cause of Jack's amnesia. I am the cause of me dying inside.

I watch him as he dreams about darkness and death because that is all he knows. This child of light only sees darkness. I wish he would see the light. I wish he could finally be free. I wish he could know all the great aspects of life. The aspects that do not involve death and darkness. I wish upon a star that does not shine as bright as Jack.

"I love you Jack, I wish I had the guts to say that to you," I said as my arms start to itch,"I wish that you know that."

I wish I was not depressed. I wish that my parents love me. I wish that my sisters were not dead. I wish I can accept my love for a certain gender. I wish this society would finally fix itself. I wish that I was not a coward. I wish I was not such a waste of air. I wish I was not selfish. I wish that I did not care so much. I wish that I can ease people's pain.

I wish for many things, but the reality is that dreams do not come true.