I Can't Help but Want You

Chapter 4

Years passed and I was 13. I had picked up the hobby of cooking and gotten pretty good if I do say so myself. Whereas Jasper had picked up skateboarding and basketball, he had muscled up a lot too. He was turning into a man and I a woman. I had worn my hair up every day like Jasper had told me to. Except for around the house. We had grown inseparable, we did everything together and I hardly ever saw him frowning anymore. I still had never asked him about his mother, even though not knowing was driving me up the wall. Jasper still acted emotionless around others, I felt special that I was the only one he felt comfortable enough with to open up to. He had stopped calling me little sister though. He never told me why he was just simply smile and ruffle my hair. I hated when he did that and he knew it, he always was teasing me like that. It was really annoying but what was I to do. I was sitting on the couch watching television when my mother called me in from the kitchen.

"Hey daddy," I said kissing Henry on the cheek, he must have just got home. Then I walked over to my mother. "What is it?"

"Go get Jasper, he's in the garden, and tell it's time for dinner."

"Okay." I walked back to the garden and called out for Jasper. He didn't come, like usual. He's probably hiding somewhere waiting for me so he could scare me, that jerk. I looked up at the setting sun then to the trees that were turning red and orange in the fall air. I walked into the garden looking for him. I saw him sitting on the edge of the fountain watching the sunset. Just as I was about to pounce on him, I caught a glimpse of his face. It looked sad and distant, a look I haven't seen in awhile on him.

"Jasper my trusty knight?" I said softly.

He looked up at me and his eyes light up, his frown turning into a smile. "Hey princess Rose! What's up." He always lit up like that when he saw me, and that look always seemed to make me smile.

"It's dinner time..."

"Okay, I'll be in there in a minute." He turned back to the sunset.

"What are you thinking about?" I said coming and sitting on the edge next to him.

"Nothing really," I could tell he was lying it was all over his face.

"You're thinking about your mother again aren't you."

He hung his head, "Yeah."

"What happened to her?" I whispered. Still doubting my decision to ask. He looked at me for a minute, just staring at me. "Come on I told you about my dad. Why won't you open up to me. You can trust me can't you?"

He looked down at his hands that were clasped tightly together. "She shot herself, right in front of me. At the time we were very very poor. She had had depression her whole life but her having to work so much to make ends meet, my dad working twice as much as her, always stressing out and then adding taking care of a child on top of that just made it worse. She couldn't handle it anymore. So when my dad was out she took the gun and just as she was about to pull the trigger I walked in. The last thing she said to me was that she loved me. Then she blew her brains out." He looked like he was seconds from crying as he spoke. His voice only getting weaker and more broken. "After that my dad got a promotion won the lottery and became filthy rich. All over one stupid piece of paper." His jaw locked with anger. "She died over paper, how stupid is that!" Tears started falling from his eyes and hitting the ground at his feet. I grabbed him and pulled him in, pressing his head against my chest as he cried.

"I'm so so sorry Jasper." I ran my fingers through his obsidian black hair trying to calm him down. Though he was much bigger than me now he still was like a child in my arms. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. I wiped the tears away from beneath his eyes. Then rested my hands on each side of his face. "Better?" I said rubbing my thumb across his cheek. He nodded a bit looking into my eyes with awe. His emerald green eyes were sparkling with the setting sun. He looked beautiful, but what was I thinking he's my brother. My heart was pounded, his face only inches from mine. He pulled the scrunchy out of my hair, letting my hair fall down to below right below my elbows. He placed his hands over mine, that were softly caressing the sides of his face. His hands were so big and warm on mine. He drew in closer, I wanted to stop him but at the same time I didn't. My breath picked up, my heart beat was so loud I was sure he could hear it. Then he stopped I could feel his breath on my lips. He searched my face as if looking for anything that would make him stop. He sighed and pulled away.