I Can't Help but Want You

Chapter 17

Another month passed, Luke was still just as touchy feely as before but I didn't let him touch me near as much. I had already felt one man's sweet touch, I wasn't ready to feel another's. He much less self centered. For once he took my wants and need into consideration, actually listened to what I had to say. It was like his mind had opened up to the real world. I was glad Luke had started to fade away from being the rich snob football jock he once was into a reasonable adult. Our relationship was going well and I was content. But in some parts of my heart I wondered if being content was good enough. I wanted more then just to be content with the way things were, I wanted to be happy.

I lay on my bed that night looking at a picture I had framed of Luke and I together. I would have been looking at a picture of Jasper but when he left my parents had taken every picture they had of him and hid them away. It was as if they were erasing his whole existence from my mind. It was hard to imagine a perfect mental picture of him now. The few things I did have that reminded me of him I hid under lock and key in the bottom drawer of my desk. The poem and a green rose necklace. I had other small trinkets and pictures but they had found them and taken them away from me. I set the picture down on my night stand and looked up at the ceiling, all I could do every night was close my eyes and imagine Jasper next to me. His warm body pressed close to mine. His soft skin like a blanket around my body. It was the only way I could ever get any sleep. So I closed my eyes and listened.

There was an unfamiliar tap on the glass of my window that disturbed my thoughts. I ignored it, probably just a bird or the wind. Nothing to concern myself with, I closed my eyes once again. There was another soft tap, louder than the last. Again I ignored it thinking it was nothing. Again a louder tap on my window, tired of the noise I got up to see what it was.

I looked out in the green beautiful garden that covered as far as the eyes could see. I looked down and saw something that almost made my heart stop. In the midst of the night just barely off the light of the back porch was I able to spot a pair of emerald green eyes looking up at me. I rubbed my eyes trying to see if this was real and I didn't just fall asleep. They were still there when I opened my eyes. One word was breathed off my lips the only name I could say because all of my words were somewhere far far away. "Jasper," bright teeth smiled at me and his midnight black hair flowed in the wind.

I watched his lips form to speak, "Rose." For a while longer I looked down at him not saying anything not moving. Was this even reality? I watched him hop and climb up the side of the building to my window. When he reached my window seal he looked at me with the kindest brightest of smiles. "Can I come in?" He asked almost jokingly. I stepped back letting him enter my room. "Hasn't changed in here has it?" He spoke almost like he never left, then his eyes fell on me. "Are you there?" He waved his hand in front of my face trying to get my attention although he already had my full concentration. I reached out and touched his cheek softly. His warm flesh and squishy cheeks hadn't changed. He was still him after all that time, which I suppose for most isn't that long but for me it was a life time. In the blink of an eye I leaped into his big strong arms that used to hold me so tight, and I knew they would again. Tears started to well in my eyes, I felt wrong for ever thinking that he wouldn't come back. I should have known he would, he always comes back for me.

"I missed you so much," I said giggling over my cracking voice.

"I missed you too, I wish I could have gotten here sooner."

I pulled away and looking into his gorgeous eyes, "Why did you come back?"

he paused, his eyes looked so adult now like some ho the last few months had changed him into a more mature person but his face was still the same boy I had fallen in love with. "The wind told me, I knew I couldn't stay away from here. I couldn't just leave you. I love you too much for that." He pulled me back in again kissing my head softly and petting the back of my hair.