I Hope You Make It To 28 [melix]

Part 1

Felix P.O.V

I have never been popular in school, maybe it's the way I dress myself, dark clothes all the time, wear a red beanie and gives everyone a judging look.

Everyone in this school is a failure, in my opinion at least. Even if we all here made it to the college I'm sure people will drop out, maybe I will do that too but I'm not a guy who gives up that easily.

College, a beautiful moment to feel how poor you really are, have stressful days, being with friends that I don't have except for those who smoke, and feel a kind of freedom.
No more high school students that laughs at you or gives you a finger without any reason. And I get to be away from my parents and I can be in my room and play video games how much I want.

I sit on the stairs and watch the students walk up and whisper to each other. I never had close friends, my closets friends are my video games, now don't think I'm a sad loser because I'm a happy loser with my games.

But of course, a real friend would been something, I tried with them who smokes but no. They are out after my cigarettes or my money to buy their own goddamn cigarettes.
So I'm a lonely wolf, which suits me since my middle name means wolf and wolfs are alone.

A bright pink jacket catch my eyes and I look up at the girl who passed me. Marzia.
She always dress up in light colours, always wear a smile and are with her best friend that I can't the name of. How I know Marzia? We take the Philosophy together, the only class together.

She is a deep thinker, but she is studying to become a photographer, sometimes she picks up her camera from her bag and takes a photo. Most on nature or light colours.
Marzia is really gorgeous but of course, she doesn't talk much to me, avoids me too. So I can forget about her.

I study on English, with writing. Yes, extremely lame but I don't have feeling to study on technology since I was never good at science. And who knows, maybe I write a book one day. So I don't see Marzia that often but she lives on the campus just like me. I can see her daily but the longest I can look at her is on Philosophy classes that we have twice at week, just like this Tuesday.

I turn around and look at Marzia when she disappear around the corner. I only got to see her light blue jeans and her jacket but I know it's her but I just wanted to see her face.
Man, after just 3 months at this school and I have a big crush on a girl that probably sees me as a goth kid or an emo kid.

"Hey Felix," I hear someone says and I turn around my face and met blue eyes in front of me and I jumped a little bit. "You got a lighter?"
It was Ryan, he goes in the same class as me but he is more with the popular kids.
"Yeah," I said and rubbed my eye. "you need it now?"

Ryan nodded and I stood up and followed with Ryan outside, I can as well take one of my cigarette before class start.
"Who were you looking at?" asked Ryan and he put a cigarette in to his mouth when they came outside.
"What?"
"You were looking at someone when I came up to you before."

I didn't answer, he doesn't need to know about Marzia. Why should I even tell Ryan when we only talking when we are smoking?
I lighted up his cigarette and lighted up my own.
I don't smoke often, 3 cigarettes per day is my motto. And this is my first one for the day.

I know Ryan usually take a full packet per day, his parents are rich so he isn't so poor as us other college students. He can just ask for money to buy more cigarettes or even go out and eat on a restaurant.
Ryan is really annoying too, sure he seems friendly but he loves to gossiping about everything so if I tell I was looking at Marzia he will say it to everyone.
"Hello?" said Ryan and I breathed in the nicotine. "Are you going to answer me?"
"No," I said. "why should I?"
"Geez Felix, you don't need to be such a bitch about it."
"A bitch? Just because I don't wanna tell you something it makes me a bitch?"

"If you were a little bit nicer you maybe would actually have some friends," said Ryan.
I breathed out the smoke threw my nose, it makes me feel like a dragon that is mad. But now, I'm only annoyed on Ryan, calling me a bitch without any reason at all and he had to point out that I'm lonely.
"Some are better off alone," I said with a small smirk.
"Wow, first smile for this month," Ryan said with a smile.
I gave a shrug and saw that Ryan swallowed the smoke down to his lungs before he breathed out the smoke.

"Gotta go," I said and killed the fire on my cigarette under my shoe, I had only used the half cigarette so I can use it again later. "see ya in the class."
"See ya," said Ryan and he pulled out his phone when I left.

• • •

After lunch it was time for Philosophy, the only time I would get to see Marzia for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Sometimes shorter if we are in groups and we don't end in the same group.
I took my book from my locker and had my headphones in my ears while I walked to the classroom. I was first as always and the door was open so I sat in the back of the classroom next to the window and looked down on my phone.
I checked out on twitter if someone had followed me or if one of my favourite game makers have something new but it seemed like it wouldn't be new games for a while.

I literally spend most of my money on games and food, I haven't bought new clothes since the start of the summer but it doesn't matter. I only wear black anyway but sometimes they turn grey after they have been washed.
And I have some food left, and I have food money. But the food in my room are just sandwiches or snacks so I don't need to go out and eat on evenings.

I heard footstep threw one of my favourite songs and I look up, Marzia. She and her bestfriend doesn't have this class together so this is the only lesson Marzia is alone.
She is pretty shy, she get higher voice when she needs to talk in front of the class and she is really unsure sometimes and mess up some few words. I found it really adorable.

I look down on my phone again when she looked at me, I didn't want her to think I was mad or annoyed on her. I may be a douchebag that judge everyone but on Marzia it's quiet impossible to judge her.
I hear her footsteps and I look up and see her sit in front of me.

Her long brown hair is in a ponytail and she took off her pink jacket and was wearing a white t-shirt, probably it was a printed t-shirt but I couldn't see that. Then all of the sudden Marzia is turning around, she looks down while she turns around and then her brown eyes looks at me.

"It's Felix, r-right?" she asked with a mumble.
I'm glad I had my music on low volume or this would have been awkward for us both. I take out my earphones from my ears and nods to her.
"Did you read the homework?"

For a second I only had to focus that she talked to me, only me. For the first time. In the groups we all get to talk, sometimes when I talked I have only seen her nod her head or give a faint smile but she have never talked to me. But she agreed what I said, that means a lot for me.
"Homework?"
She nodded and bit her lip. I made a confused look and she gave a smile. I shook my head.

"We had homework?"
"We was about to read about a chapter or two and I forgot to read," said Marzia.
"Oh, I have my book here if you wanna look."
"No it's okay, I-I can only hope the teacher doesn't ask me the questions."
I smiled a little, she really was gorgeous and she was so... innocent. I know it seems ridicules but that's the only way I can describe it. I literally don't know anything about her so innocent is the only way I can describe.

She gave a smile back before she turned around and looked down in her book. I haven't complain on this day and I definitely won't do it now either.
My smile disappeared and I put on my headphones. Anyway, it was probably 1 thing that will never happen again.

Hope you enjoyed first chapter!
Don't smoke kids and if you're smoking, don't do it too often.

I'm not good with writing romantic but I will try!