First of all...(BWWM)

Acceptance

What?I mean this is great,right?Why doesn't it feel that way?
I mean I ...I should be happy at this news because I never wanted him to like me.I didn't want to be with him.I know it's wrong but...I just loved that he tried.He tried and tried to be with me.Now he's given up.(Why the hell am I crying while writing this?l?).

I can't believe he's done.Its unfair for me to want him to treat me like he wants me.He's been so distant and its strange.

No baby.No Yaz.God,no Yaz.He doesn't even call me Yaz anymore.Its Yasmin now.

I don't know what the flip is going on but I can't.I just can't.Its too much.

We were walking.It was silent.We were reaching a bridge.Thirty miles walked.I can now check that off my bucket list.Note the dark sarcasm that is my life.

We moved to the side as the cars drove by.This is the time where the people in the movies find a car and go home to safety.

But you know this isn't the movies.If anything it's one of those stories and the girl ends up with no one, lonely and sad.Okay that's not how it goes but ehhh.Who gives a fuck?

I watched Carter walk beside me.How can he just give up on me?I can't blame him.I would too but Carter's different.When a guy wouldnt give a crap about you freezing in water and only your body?He's trying to save you.So angry because he cares.I want that.And I'm sorry that I didn't see that sooner.And deep in my heart I wouldn't have the guts to be with him.Cause I'm a coward.

"Yazmin?"He asked.Yazmin?God I hate that he calls me that now.Just cause were friends.Its driving me fucking nuts.

I calmed my self down.

"Yes Carter?"I fake smiled.

"Im gonna see if I can get a ride for us.You in?"

I nodded.His smile didn't reach his eyes.I really can't handle this change.

Carter waved his hands towards cars passing by.I did the same.No car stopped for us.We continued doing this for who knows how long.It was super late because the traffic slowed down.

I yawned.

We sat on the side walk looking like a couple of homeless people.

My head kept going back and forth.I was so tired.

I felt Carter pull me close to him.I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Goodnight,baby."Carter whispered.

A smile sprawled on my face.

:3

"Wake up, Yazmin"Carter shook me.I blinked my eyes open. It was early because the sun was shining blinding me.The traffic was back.

"Come on.Let's try again."He pulled me up.

My arm tingled.I gulped.

"Okay"I replied.

We waved our hands in the air,walking up and down.It was pretty hopeless considering this was a highway.But we could only hope.

"We should walk"I said,suddenly.

"What?That's it?"He asked.I nodded.I was tired of wasting time.Might as well make it count.

"Okay let's go then."

So we kept walking.And then something came into my view.

A bike.

I ran towards it and pulled it out the bushes.It was in okay shape.No helmet.I'll probably die on the way anyways.

"Yazmin,why were you run-Oh shit.A bike!Yes!"Carter hopped on.

I gave him a look.

"Hop on the back."He pointed.I gave him another look.

Then Carter noticed there was nothing to hop on to.Bike was in the bushes for a reason.

"Ugh fine.Sit on my lap."

Okay let's go with that.I climbed on top and swung my legs to the side.

"Make sure your head isn't in my view cause I'm not trying to die."

I laughed.Then he stared pedalling.I held onto his waist with my left hand and rested my head on his shoulder.

I heard him grunt.I looked up and saw him biting his lip.Damn he looks so attractive.

Carter look down at me for a nanosecond then back on the road.

I miss flirty Carter.Where he at though?This version of Carter all serious and stuff scares me.A lot.Like you don't even know.I'm freaked out.How can he change so fast?

I looked back at him.So concentrated.So focused.God he's one good looking human being.

"Stop,Yazmin"Carter said all of a sudden.

"What?"

"Looking at me.Like you want me to say something.What do you want me to say?"His face beaming on the sun.

"I -I-I want you to be like the old you.The one who calls me Yaz instead of Yasmin.What is that all about anyway?"

Carter shrugged."Yazmin, is your name right?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Forget it."I stared straight ahead.

How long is this ride?My butt feels numb like I can't move it.I tried to fix my position but Carter kept getting distracted by me.

"Can you stop? Do you want us to get in an accident? "

"I'm sorry but my butt is all ugh. I need to fix myself."

Carter sighed.He pulled the bike to side.I got up and moved closer to Carters hips.Better.

"I'm ready.Let's go."

Carter gave me a look.Like one of those you make me frustrated looks.I don't know.I don't read people well so you shouldn't trust me on my description.

Anyways we were back riding.

I swung my legs back and forth,looking at the ground.

"Yazmin,why won't you stay still?You move so much."Carter complained.

"Do I look like I care?"I said with an attitude.That was all of a suddent.Oops.

"Oh.Well.I guess not"He replied, keeping quiet.Oh no.Mouth you see what you did.Got me in trouble.

"Sorry.I don't mean it like that. Im just still trying to get used to us being official friends thing.We haven't talked about it.I want you to talk about it."

Carter's hair blew in the wind.

"I mean there really isn't anything to talk about,Yazmin."

"Yes.Yes a lot of stuff.Like why no nickname?I know its stupid but I like my nickname.Just cause were friends doesn't mean that has to change.And your so serious now.I haven't seen you smile in a while.(#bars)."

"I have to be less attached to you physically and emotionally.When I called you your nickname it was because I liked you.If I call you that now it would defeat the purpose.I can't help that I'm not happy or playful in this situation.I wanna go home.And its not happening.So of course I'm upset."

I nodded,understanding.

"Yazmin,I hope you find a man that loves you and you love him"He whispered.

I looked at his face.It was so sad.I wanted to hug him but he was steering so I didn't.

I sighed."I do too."

I wish it was you.

I really be spitting them rhymes though.Anyway Poor Yaz.Poor Carter.What's gonna happen with them?Will they ever get home?

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Xoxo Nia