Simon's Secret (One Direction FanFiction)

Chapter 22

Alex's POV

  I stood before the door, taking a deep breath to calm myself. Harry would be waiting on the other side. He was probably standing very near to the door, waiting for me to knock. Waiting for the signal that I was here and ready to listen. 

  I was actually really nervous about having dinner with Harry. I was afraid things would be really awkward, especially since the last time we spoke he had told me that he wished we hadn't met... Okay, maybe he didn't phrase it like that, but that was what he meant. That had really hurt. I didn't know how he planned on making up for it, because it would be hard for him to.

  Moving slowly, I raised my right hand and rapped my knuckles on the door. It opened just moments later, and standing before me was Harry... in a blazer and bow tie? They were both black, along with his bottoms, but his shirt was white.

  Noticing our contrast in outfits, being that I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, I almost burst out laughing. I restrained myself from doing so, though, because I didn't want him to see me like that already.

  "Hey," Harry said, leading me to the small table in the kitchen. "Um, have a seat." I was surprised to see that there was actually a lasagna sitting out.

  "Make this, did you?" I asked teasingly. Harry bit his lip and shrugged. He was obviously nervous too, but I was trying to shake that feeling off. I glanced around the room, noticing that the lighting was dim and everything had been cleaned up. The trashcan, however, was overflowing, and sitting atop the mess was an empty frozen lasagna box.

    I rolled my eyes, mumbling, "Lovely job, Harry. If sticking something in the microwave counts as making it then you did great."

  "What'd you say?" he asked, blinking at me. I shook my head. Perhaps I was being a bit hard on him, but I really had been looking forward to something he cooked himself. Maybe he didn't know how to make a lasagna.

  We ate in silence for a few minutes. I wasn't planning on speaking - I had nothing to say to him. He had set up this dinner, and he was going to have to go through with it. If all he wanted to do was sit and eat, then we would sit and eat. Of course, I would just leave and go back to Niall if he didn't say anything throughout the whole meal.

  "Okay," Harry said suddenly, setting down his fork, "I'm not putting this off any longer, we're talking now. Al... today has been extremely long and hectic, for a lot of reasons. I realize that none of it was really your fault. I haven't been empathetic at all, and I'm sorry."

  I cleared my throat awkwardly and set my own fork down. At this point, I had lost my appetite. I avoided looking at Harry because I thought it would just make things more uncomfortable. He slid his chair closer to mine and tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it away.

  Harry sighed, "Look, Alex, I was a total jerk, okay? I was just busy thinking about how this whole situation would affect me, not you. Now I get that it will make your life more chaotic, too. I don't want you to have to deal with that."

  A frown came over my face at that. Where was he going with this? I knew Harry was upset, but... Things were about to change. I was sure of it - and, quite frankly, I didn't mind.

  "Harry..." I wasn't sure what I wanted to say.

  "Just listen to me for a second, Al. I need to get this across. I said some awful things and you need to understand that I didn't mean them."

  It was obvious enough that he felt bad about what had happened earlier. I still refrained from looking at him, however, because making direct eye contact would break me. He would look so sad and pleading, even just imagining it made me want to forgive him. I couldn't, though, at least not yet. There was still so much he had to make up for.