Book Reviews

Blood Light 11: Overbite

BLOOD LITE 11: OVERBITE by Various Authors

Read it. No, don't argue with me. Read it. It. Is. Hilarious. It's a book made up of short stories by different paranormal authors. Some names you might know, others you may not. If nothing else, just read these stories: Son of... a Bitch AND Death and Taxes AND the American Banshee AND Daycare of the Damned AND Table For Two AND The Close Shave AND Good Breeding AND Lucifer's Daughter. Those were my favorites and they are definitely recommended. They are awesome and they made me laugh. Every single time I read it, I laugh. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. In fact, just read the whole book. Those were my favorites but they are more than worth reading. You might find a couple favorites of your own. But believe me when I say this book should be a classic. I haven't read the first one in the 'series', for lack of better word, but I think it'll be just as funny.

I really hope you like laughing until people in the next room come to check on you. And then they'll look at you like you're crazy and you'll only laugh harder. It happens to me every time I read this book. But then again, I might just be crazy. Hmm...

READ IT!

In my grade book it gets an A+. Seriously, it doesn't get any better than an A in these reviews guys. I hope you like my descriptions.

Summary (Spoiler Alert):

I can't really give you a summary for the entire book so I'll give you really short ones for all the memorable short stories. If you do read this book and like one of the stories I do not mention, feel free to tell me off.

But try to keep this in mind. I go through a book a day so I can't remember every single tiny detail of every book. So sorry.

Here it goes.

The stories are not going to be in order.

Death and Taxes: It's a funny story about an IRS employee who goes on a suspicious house call, which he states multiple times that he does not like. You might think it sounds boring and stupid but trust me, it has really awesome twists. The person who lives in said house had sent all of the previous IRS people to the hospital on suspicious 'accidents'. So they brought out the big guns, the narrator of the story. He goes to the house and both of them get a surprise, the owner of the house isn't too pleased with his, I'll tell you that.

Son of... a Bitch!: This story is told in the perspective of a golden retriever. It literally made me laugh until my sides hurt. Yeah, its kinda inappropriate in some places, swearing is used but if you care about it that much, you need to loosen up a bit. So this dog talks to the neighbor dude who thinks he's going crazy cause you know, a dog is talking to him. The beginning is priceless. The author is believable as a dog, his attention span is short, he keeps thinking about this girl dog in heat and the steaks that the neighbor, Joe, is making. Joe does something stupid because Max, the dog, is a great actor. But what Joe doesn't know is that Max is being manipulated by Cat, further proving that cats are evil. Cat lovers, you will not like this story. Oh, who am I kidding? This story is hilarious! Read it!

Yeah, I know its cryptic. Read it and then read this again, it'll make more sense and you'll laugh.

American Banshee: Great story about a, you guessed it, banshee. If nothing else, read it because its a novelty. I personally have not ever read a story about a banshee and I've read hundreds of books (Seriously, it's hard to choose which ones to review for you guys) so this one was interesting. So there's a banshee and she sings or screams when death is about to hit one of the members of the family she looks after. Shortly after one of the oldest from the family dies (The family is part of the mob, by the way) his son who is due to take over, fires the banshee because she announces the deaths too late to prevent them. She goes on to wander around and she decides to audition for American Idol. She does amazing and everyone loves her until she sings someone's death and practically kills everyone in the immediate area. I loved the ending. It was justice in the truest form. That's all I'm telling you about that one.

Table For Two: Wow, this was probably the most mixed up story I've ever read. It's nasty (the description of the woman, not like you know, doing the nasty kind of nasty), weird, and at the end it has a twist that made me laugh. Honestly, its more interesting and disturbing than actually funny but all the same, its worth reading. Hmm, how can I sum it up for you? I guess I can say that its about a man who takes out this woman he's dating. Woman is, of course, a relative term. You'll see what I mean. And seriously, the twist at the end? Made it all worthwhile.

The Close Shave: I would've never thought up the idea behind this story. Like, I think up some crazy crap but this? This would never cross my mind. You know mythical creature right? Vampires, walking skeletons, werewolves, grim reaper, Medusa (as a man), yetis, immortally damned people, that type of stuff. Imagine them all in a barber shop at like midnight, when the shop is open. You getting the picture? Then add some damn funny dialog, a twisted author, and some dark humor and you have this story.

P.S: This might bother you because it definitely bothered me. Its not big, it didn't turn me away from the story but we never get to know what type of creature the barber is.

Daycare of the Damned: This just shows the pressures teen girls have to face. The pressures of being popular come out in a big way in this story. After all, its the driving action. But girls, please don't sell your soul for popularity. You might not be as lucky as this girl. She gets this job at a special type of daycare and trust me, there are some interesting kids. They might just have the solution to her problems. That's all I'll say.

Dark Carbuncle: Ah, a guy can never catch a break, can he? Not any time soon anyway. There's this rock star, in his middle years at least and bad luck just keeps coming his way, especially when his satanic fans raise him up and force him to do an encore. Of course, it just had to end in a pretty funny way too. Don't worry. Its a cute story about how far obsessive fans will go to hear their favorite song live from the artist himself. No matter how long he's been dead.

Treatment: Jeez, can aliens ever successfully take over the world? I'm starting to hope so. This starts off with a kid who apparently thinks he's a werewolf. Of course, his psychiatrist tries to set him straight but unfortunately, he's an alien. He did try his best but was thwarted by an Indian ghost. Confused yet? Enjoy.

Good Breeding: (Spoiler Alert) This is the one and only story I've read where violent, bloody, huge aliens take over the world and it is awesome. But its all really ruined when one alien grows a conscience and tries to rebuild the incredibly insane, broken human race (Give the humans a break, they'd just undergone an alien invasion). They find some humans but one of them (The dumber one) eats them. Then they have to make a deal with the devil for one bus, count it one bus, of people. It doesn't work out, unfortunately those few humans are eaten too. But oh well, they remain hopeful on finding humans and rebuilding the human race. Who would've thought, huh?

Dead Clown Séance: This is about clowns and dead clowns. Yes, I know you're shocked. Anyway, its cute, has some nice references and its short and funny. What else can you ask for, hmm?

Oh, I forgot to mention that its a little graphic cause you know, the dead clowns are killers. And the author is twisted. Oops.

Lucifer's Daughter: Some guys really just do not know when to pop the question. Its not that hard! Just don't do it after you and your girlfriend almost get killed by a demon in a museum! Jeez!

The Epicurean: You know, I'm not all that sure but I think that this is just about a vampire becoming fat and then dying. Dramatic bastard.

Season Tickets: Stupid decisions, greed, and zombies. What's not to like?

Eight Legged Vengeance: I don't think I have to tell you that putting a live spider inside a cake to get revenge on your ex is not a good idea. This story shows exactly all the ways it can and will go wrong. Trust me, its not pretty but it is funny.