You and Me- Lisa Cimorelli (Fanfic)

Part 21

Lisa's POV

I've been back from tour for 3 days now. I've been completely avoiding Chase and I know that he's caught on to what's going on. He's called me non stop these past few days. I've gotten a few texts from him today. Some of them were:

Chase- Are you okay?
Chase- What's wrong? Did I do something?
Chase- Why are you avoiding me?

I've just been ignoring them. But the most recent text I got was a few minutes ago when he said that he was going to come over. I was dreading it but I knew that I would have to tell him eventually. I was the only one here when I heard a knock on the door. I went to go answer it and let him in the house. I was completely silent as I let him in because I didn't know what to say to him. I turned around before he could hug me.

A million thoughts were running through my head about how to tell him. I knew that he wouldn't let me run, I knew that he would fight for me. I knew if I told him the real reason that he would talk me out of it. I knew the only way he would let me go is if he really believed I wasn't happy with him.
I could feel my eyes starting to form tears before I even spoke. I knew I had to do it quick before I changed my mind.

Chase- "Lise, what's going on?"
Lisa- "Chase I can't do this anymore... I can't be with you."
Chase- "What are you talking about? Is this the anxiety? I can help you. I told you I would help you and I will."
Lisa- "No Chase it's not that. I just don't want to be with you anymore. I don't have the same feelings that you do."
I could see the pain in his eyes when I said those words. I felt a tear fall down my cheek.
Chase- "What do you mean? Everything was fine before you left. What happened that changed your mind that quick?"
Lisa- "You don't understand. My mind wasn't changed... I just don't love you."
We stood in my living room in complete silence for a few moments. He looked down at the floor shaking his head as I wiped another tear away from my eye before he looked up. I didn't know what he was thinking. He was still staring at the floor when I finally spoke up.
Lisa- "I'm sorry Chase." I could feel my voice starting to tremble.

He didn't say anything and we stood in silence once more. Finally he looked up at me after he had been staring at the floor for the past couple of minutes. I saw his eyes turning red as he clenched his jaw, trying to fight back the tears.

Chase- "No... you know what, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I let myself believe that you actually cared about me as much as I care about you. I'm sorry that I spent days thinking about how I could be the best person I could possibly be for you."
He looked down at the floor and ran his hand through his hair. I could just barely see him biting his bottom lip and as he looked up I saw that his eyes were beginning to water. As he looked at me I felt tears falling from my eyes much quicker than they had been just a few moments ago.
I could see how badly I hurt him. But I'm not backing out of this now. I have to stick to this. As he finally gathered his thoughts he spoke up one last time. He looked directly at me locking our eyes. All I could see was how bright his green eyes were shinning due to the tears that were building. His voice turned from what was shocked in the beginning into a sad and frustrated tone.

Chase- "I hate that I let myself fall in love with you. Because deep down I knew you were going to leave, everyone who walks into my life leaves eventually. I just let myself believe that you were different, that you weren't like everyone else. And that maybe you would finally be the one that stuck around. But I was wrong... So don't apologize. Because I'm the one who's sorry for getting my hopes up that someone might actually love the real, true me. So thank you for showing me that isn't the case. Thank you for lying about loving me. Now I know to depend on me and only me."
He turned around and headed towards the door. There was that large part of me that told me I was doing the right thing. But the small part of me screamed that I was making a mistake because now I realize that I just did to him what I was scared of him doing to me.
I destroyed him. I broke him. I do love him, but the only way that he would leave me without fighting for me is if he believed that I never loved him. Even if he was the only one I ever truly loved.

A/N
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