You and Me- Lisa Cimorelli (Fanfic)

Part 25

~1 week later~

Lisa's POV

Me and my sisters just got done filming a cover to put up on our channel. As I was sitting on my bed editing the video I felt my phone vibrate. It was sitting face down so when I went to pick it up I saw Chase's name on the screen. My heart started to beat faster. We haven't talked in a month. I can't start talking to him now. I've just finally started to not think about him every second of the day.
I held it in my hand as it kept buzzing. I stared at my phone waiting for it to go to voicemail. Finally it stopped buzzing and a notification popped up that said One missed call. About two minutes later another notification popped up saying Voicemail.
I kept looking at my phone debating whether or not I should listen to it. Just as I was about to delete it I couldn't help myself but listen to it. I clicked the button to listen to it and held the phone up to my ear. This was the first time I've heard Chase's voice since that night. It was sweet and soft, just as it had always been.

Chase- "Hey... So I've been sitting in my room staring at the map that's hanging on my wall and it got me thinking.... And I realized that letting you walk away this easy isn't what I want. I want to be with you more than anything. This may be the stupidest message that you've ever gotten but I don't care. Because I know you... and I know that you wouldn't have spent over 6 months with me if you didn't love me. You may not want to be with me anymore and if you don't then I'm guessing you won't call me back. And if you do want to give us another chance, then maybe I'll hear from you soon. [Pause]
Just know that even if you don't want to be with me again I will never regret one moment that I spent with you. For some reason you could walk back into my life years from now and I will still choose you. I'll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without a doubt. I will always choose you. Because you are way to important to me to give up on. I love you."

I replayed the message over and over again. No one understands why I won't get back with him. I just don't know how to explain it to them. I want to be with him but I know that I will run again. And I care about him too much to keep hurting him.
So I won't go back to him now. I want him to move on and be happy. Because if he doesn't move on then I won't be able to either. When I say he deserves someone better I mean that he deserves someone who won't keep him second guessing if the relationship is okay. I can't give that to him. All that I have done is cause him to be uncertain of anything that he has ever done. I can't do that to him. How am I supposed to explain that to someone who doesn't understand?

I love him. I love him so much. That's why I let him go.

I pulled out my phone and started to write him a text. I sat there for 30 minutes re writing it over and over again. Finally I settled on something. I read it to myself one more time.

Lisa- We can't do this Chase. We can't wait on each other. You deserve to be happy and move on. We both have to move past this. Maybe one day we'll see each other again when we are older and our lives our less hectic, and maybe we will find a way to work it out. But for now I'm the chaos in your mind and the pain that you won't let go of. I don't have feelings anymore. Let me go. Be happy without me, so that we can both move on.

My hand hovered over the send button while I stared at the lie I had written of not having feelings anymore.
Finally I pushed it. He is amazing, but he will be so much greater if we can finally say goodbye.