Kaisoo One Shots

Brise (8/8)

  Do Kyungsoo walks pacifically around the busy streets of Seoul at 6:05 pm of a Friday. The sky is slowly changing from pink to grey, clouds surround the city and he's thankful he brought a big coat with himself. Fresh, new and - as always - dark clothes is what he's wearing, his dark hair perfectly styled because today is a special day. Nobody could notice the man's heart is beating desperately inside his chest; he keeps clicking and clicking the pen inside his pants pocket to calm himself down. He has walked past the same buildings, the same streets, the same intersections so many times, is like instinct when he goes down the stairs to the subway station, he doesn't pay attention to which seat he's taking nor who he has around. He's not really focused on anything but the clicking inside his pocket.

Do Kyungsoo moved from a little town in the south – warm, deserted, pretty and hot – four years and three months ago, he lived in his college dorm for two and a half years, and later on he had decided he wanted to live in a flat somewhere else. He got a job just 5 months ago, after he graduated with honors in Multimedia Design – he's just beginning in a local TV studio, just learning the basics. He's so excited to get his own studio, but that can wait for now.

The street lights are on when he gets out of the subway station, the sky casting nothing but darkness, the moon is nowhere to be seen – he tries not to walk too fast, he's not late and he doesn't want to start sweating, although no one is going to care anyway. This isn't his day, but someone else's.

He arrives at the location at 6:40 pm where a multitude is on a wide square, right in front of a massive building, big posters are hanging from the structure – each one of these read 'The Swan Lake' and show long and slim figures with exaggerated make up, but he can recognize the eyes of the man in the far right poster anywhere. Kyungsoo's heart takes a jump and he can't help but smile, he takes out his phone and snaps a picture, he continues smiling while he texts someone.

I'm here – he sends it and waits for it to be 7:00 pm, when the play is supposed to start.

"Do Kyungsoo!" – he hears a distant but familiar voice call him, he turns around instinctively and five seconds later a taller and thin woman hugs him.

"Hey, Eunmi" – he greets her, returning the hug and smiling back at her, he spots a tall man behind her – "Mr. Kim" – he salutes him, offering his arm and bowing slightly. He hasn't changed much in past these years.

"It's been a while! How are you?" – Eunmi rubs his back and walks to be closer to her father; they have practically the same face, perfect bone structure, pretty and small eyes decorating a wide but particularly cute nose – her hair darker than how she used to wear it, arranged in a pretty bun on top of her head – "We're so excited right, dad?"

The man nods, but he has looked distracted since Kyungsoo saw him, he keeps inspecting everything around him, specially the right poster hanging from the building.

"I've been great! Working and stuff...where is Hyeon and the baby?" – Kyungsoo asks for the missing family members.

"Oh, you know babies can't enter this type of things so my little girl and her dad stayed at the hotel... I'll take great pictures for them, though!"

"I don't think you can do that" – the younger man announces.

"What?! Really?" – she has always showed a lot of emotion, which has Kyungsoo giggling most of the time – "How am I supposed to show them then?"

Kyungsoo is laughing when his phone buzzes inside his pocket.

I think I'll throw up – he reads and his heart jumps once again.

You will do it perfectly – he texts as fast as he can – I love you.

Ten minutes later they are inside the theatre, Kyungsoo has the play pamphlet in hand, a little wrinkled because his nervousness can't be controlled. Eunmi is sitting at his right and she hasn't stopped talking since they walked in – but that's just the usual. Kyungsoo pays attention at her father and how he stays silent, focused and unfocused at the same time, he reads calmly the pamphlet, paying extra attention to the last page, where the dancer's names are listed.

Kyungsoo checks again that last page – second name on the first row: The Prince – Kim Jong In. He smiles at the piece of paper, wraps it and places it inside his jacket pocket. The seats surrounding them are full; all types of people have silent chat before the lights start to dim and a soft classical melody starts to play.

Kyungsoo holds on the arm rests as he recognizes the song and a petit woman appears on stage, a beautiful and delicate dress flies around her body as she starts to dance – after that a strong but slim man with dark clothes and huge black wings appears. They have a perfect first dance that lasts ages for Kyungsoo, but it's actually just a couple of minutes – he can feel how Eunmi taps her foot and keeps biting her fingernails; he takes a peak and Eunmi's father has his brows furrowed.

After that, there's a big group dance and Kyungsoo's heart beats the quickest, he senses the moment is coming.

"Is he going to come out soon?" – Eunmi whispers next to him, taking out her cellphone even though they were warned before that they were not allowed to take pictures or record the play.

Kyungsoo just nods and doesn't move more than that – the scene happening on stage starts to slow down and the dancers open a big space in the middle; the music reaches its peak and Kyungsoo has to hold his breath when a tall, slim and perfectly toned man comes out, taking a high jump - as if he was instantly flying, elegantly landing on the center of the stage – Eunmi squeezes Kyungsoo's hand, but he can't worry about that. He ignores everything else around him; he just focuses on the main dancer, the one with tanned skin and freshly dyed silver hair – his face looks pale but he knows is just part of the makeup, he's wearing a pretty sequent shirt that matches his beige tights – the man moves like the ocean around all the other dancers, his form is perfect and a heavy pressure leaves Kyungsoo's body as he has to hold himself to not start screaming.

Kyungsoo's eyes are watering – completely ignoring the woman on his right is bawling, and the man next to her has big tears running down his cheeks. The scene progresses and when it ends, everyone gives a round of applause – Kyungsoo can't be more proud of him.

Each time the Prince of The Swan Lake comes on stage and has a big dance, Kyungsoo has to hold his breath; he applauds the most when his solo is done, and in the interlude he just can't stop smiling. Kyungsoo tries his best to focus on the other dancers and in the general plot, he feels selfish because he has just paid attention to that one person and it's very unfair to all the people that are working so hard.

It's useless.

Two hours after the play began; the audience receives the Swan and the Prince for their final dance. Kyungsoo takes in everything, how flawless they look together and how they sway with the music, how easy but how impossible they make it look, as if they are just characters of a magic tale – well, duh. After minutes the Black Swan appears, and they have the final moments on stage, just them three. It's so beautiful it has Kyungsoo tearing up once again.

The applauses begin after the final note from the orchestra is played, the dancers come out one by one, maintaining their posture – the audience explodes once the Prince and the Swan Queen come out one last time and bow deeply for over ten seconds. Kyungsoo can't feel his hands anymore, and he hears Eunmi screaming for her brother's name.

This lasts for 5 minutes.

Kyungsoo gets up from his seat with the bouquet of flowers he bought before entering the theatre, he walks with Eunmi and Jongin's father trailing behind him to go back stage – all wearing the biggest and most sincere smiles on their faces.

-

"I think my hair will fall out" – Jongin announces while he slumps on the living room couch of their shared apartment, he has one of his silver locks in between his fingers and a hint of a pout is playing in his mouth. Kyungsoo turns his head from his place right next to Jongin and snorts, his lips puffing more and more as the taller male strokes his hair down his own forehead – "I don't like it"

Kyungsoo raises his legs and envelopes them together, turning his torso towards Jongin, he starts playing with the silver locks and it doesn't feel like they used to – they are not as soft and smooth and somehow the little hairs feel thinner, Kyungsoo smiles and ruffles his head.

"I like it however" – he says, his eyes showing tenderness and he resumes his TV show.

It's Sunday night and Jongin is free. The opening show was just two days ago and he has been living off the ecstasies of starring not only a play – but his favorite play of all times.

He just hasn't gotten used to having a yellow head.

The foot to ceiling windows on their left show millions of the city lights and above it, the black sky, mysterious as there's no moon or stars – it's always a puzzle to them how they found that apartment, not really in the heart of Seoul, but still on a busy district and not in a bad neighborhood; relatively new, extremely comfortable and affordable. It's a puzzle indeed.

"What time do you have to go tomorrow?" – Kyungsoo speaks, his eyes fixated on the flat screen in front of them.

"Around 6:30" – the other man responds his hands on his lap, sight in the TV as well – "I think they have to board the plane at 8:00 or something"

Jongin's family had spent the weekend in Seoul for the grand debut, Eunmi and her husband had insisted in staying in a hotel nearby and Kyungsoo was nice enough to lead them through the cool stuff of Seoul: food places, malls, parks, cultural places... Eunmi was like a kid in a candy store since her job as an Elementary School teacher didn't let her go out much of their small home town.

"Do you want to go?" – Jongin asks once a loud and annoying commercial pops on the screen and Kyungsoo mutes the device.

"I can't" – the smaller turns facing Jongin once again – "Work" – he says with a small pout.

"It's okay. You spent a lot of time with them this weekend while I was rehearsing" – Jongin responds – "I'll say goodbye for you"

Jongin pecks his lips and Kyungsoo smiles, is normal. He returns the kiss quickly and chastely, Jongin responding with a smirk and his eyes turning into pretty half moons. This is routine for them. Jongin launches to the other, pushing through his lips and landing on top of Kyungsoo over the couch. They are giggling when there's a sound coming from the front door and Jongin almost has a heart attack.

"Oh shit" – Kyungsoo says with his eyes wide open – "I forgot- I gave a spare key to Eunmi in case they had an emergency or something"

Jongin doesn't move, so when a tall figure appears from the hall, he gives a freaked out look to Kyungsoo – the smaller pushes him off, which has him exaggeratedly landing on the opposite site of the furniture.

"Sorry...I- I shouldn't" – a thick and masculine voice says.

If Jongin was freaked out before, now he just wants to die.

That wasn't how his dad was supposed to found out he was gay.

"It's okay, we weren't-" – Jongin tries to formulate a sentence – "I was just removing a bug from his hair dad! It wasn't- We weren't"
"Jongin" – Kyungsoo speaks on a side, he turns to look at his boyfriend and his cheeks are bright red, his hair is messy and his eyes wide open; he could make fun of him but his head is not thinking about that – "It's fine" – the smaller says with a faint shrug.

The older of the three remains still and his cheeks have a hint of a blush, but he starts to pace carefully to the front of the living space, close to the couch. Kyungsoo gets up and nods the man to sit near, after bowing and offering a hand. Jongin is frozen.

"Sir..." – Kyungsoo begins but is interrupted.

"I'm sorry I came like this...without notice but Eunmi told me..." – he says, his gaze trailing from the wall art to the wood floor. Jongin notices he hasn't looked at him in the eye.

"It's okay..." – Jongin finally manages to say, he sits closer to him as Kyungsoo takes a sit on the coffee table, in front of both of them – "Did you need something?"

"I was going to give you guys this" – he starts to fumble a plastic bag that just know they notice he had been carrying, he takes several vitamin drinks and tea bottles as well as a couple of hot packs – "Oh and this"

He takes a bunch of candy of his front pocket, wrappers the young males hadn't seen in so long, cherry, strawberry, grape and lemon gummy candy – Jongin's favorite flavors.

"I remembered you liked those when you were a kid, right?" – he points and delivers the groceries on the coffee table. Jongin has a funny feeling in his chest, something he rarely feels – something close to nostalgia.

"Thank you" – Kyungsoo says, his eyes turning from Jongin's father to Jongin, back and forward.

"Umh," – Jongin takes the lemon one and then shares the purple one with Kyungsoo, because he knows he used to like those –
"Thanks, dad"

The man sighs and shifts uncomfortably on the couch, glancing the place around. He had never been in their home. Kyungsoo nods exaggeratedly in his direction. Jongin can clearly read what he's trying to say.

"Dad..." – he begins quietly, munching on a citric flavor that momentarily takes him to elementary school classrooms – "About what you saw, we..."

"You don't have to-"

"No but we do, dad" – he takes a step with just one foot, and sits in front of his father, on the coffee table where Kyungsoo is – "I should have told you way sooner, and I didn't want you to see it like this all of the sudden but-"

He sighs, trying to calm himself. His relationship with the man had been slightly restored, they talk on the phone every week, he helped him a lot when he started college and he smiles every Christmas when they have dinner together, they share anecdotes of their lives and Jongin has tried to not have more secrets - this one was the last one, a small reminiscence of their previous dynamics. Something he hadn't had the guts to share.

"I'm gay, dad" – Jongin says clearly, once he has taken a deep breath. The room is in silence – "I've been in a relationship with Kyungsoo since we were 17"

Kyungsoo stays quiet, exchanging glances between the two. He had lived that exact feeling just four years ago, when he had to confess to his parents and brother that he was too in love with his best friend. They accepted it and he had the illusion Jongin's father would be the same.

The man looks at Jongin in the eye for the first time that night, and his features show surprise, he rests his hands on his lap and looks at Kyungsoo for a moment.

"I'm sorry I hadn't told you...after I promised I would be honest to you, but..." – Jongin continues – "I didn't have the courage to do it...this is really nerve wracking..."

He releases a nervous laugh as he rubs his hands up and down his thighs.

"I- " – his father responds, his voice is maybe softer and higher than usual – "I had a feeling you were...since quite some time ago."
Jongin looks up; his mouth dry and semi open because he doesn't find a way to share his thoughts in a comprehensible way.

"You know..." – the older of the three continues – "When you would spend a lot of time at Kyungsoo's house, but I figured you were really close and that would keep you distracted from all the mess that was in the house...and since we never talked I assumed you were just going out with girls in secret" – the man snorts slightly – "and then when you both came here I thought that it was just a coincidence since Seoul is the best choice for everyone and that didn't really mean anything"

"And when you called me and said you were moving out from the college dorm to live with Kyungsoo because it was easier to pay rent I was very suspicious, but I said 'hey, he can be right, living in a dorm can be a pain and splitting the bills is much better'"

The man sighs and looks at Jongin.

"Are you mad?" – is all the younger can say to him.

"I'm not mad...I'm shocked, I guess" – he responds – "Does your sister know?"

"I've never said anything, but I think she knows..." – Jongin answers while he turns his head to look at Kyungsoo.

"That's what makes me mad, Jongin" – the man speaks louder and both men open their eyes slightly – "Not that you're gay...you can be however you want, however it makes you happy, I thought that was clear. But that you keep things to yourself, if it's troubling you, why don't you share it with me?"

"I didn't know how you would react, dad" – he defends – "Do you think is easy to tell this to someone? Anyone, even to my friend's its hard...I've told maybe three people in all my life"

"And I understand that, believe me, I do..." – he speaks softer this time, he comes closer to Jongin and his hands are together – "I want you to be happy...that's all. I don't want you to live in secrets and silences, okay? Even if may look reserved and serious, you know I've changed."

Jongin nods as a soft smile comes from his father, one he sees on Christmas day as they sit together with his sister and his niece to open the presents.

"And I'm glad you are..." – he makes a gesture with his hands – "I'm glad is Kyungsoo"

Kyungsoo opens his eyes wider, trying to form a grateful grin – even though he's so nervous.

"It was always obvious that he was a good friend to you. I could always tell he was important to you, and I could always tell you meant a lot to each other" – he stays quiet and moves even closer, placing a hand on top of Kyungsoo's closed one and looking at him directly – "And I know very well you were there for him when I wasn't"

Kyungsoo swallows thick, his palms feel sweaty, Jongin smirks once Kyungsoo thanks the man with a slight bow.

The three remain still and quiet for some seconds, they have calmed slightly and there's no tense bubble surrounding them.
Jongin smiles fondly once his dad gets up and says his long goodbyes, once he stayed to share some tea with them and chat for an hour, Jongin walks with him to the ground floor and promises to see him in the morning to go to the airport.

"Don't you want to wear a hat" – he points to Jongin's head – "I mean is cold..."
Jongin giggles, because he knows his father gets a little uncomfortable when a lot of people turn to look at him because of his blond hair. He's a bit annoyed with it too.

Once Jongin walks back to his apartment, he feels so light, the lightest he has ever had. Kyungsoo welcomes him on the couch once again, a big smile on his face and sweet kissed trail on his tan arms. They finish their show with laughs and comments in between, with more tea placed on the coffee table and later that night, they continue what had started before the man interrupted.

-

Warmness. Sweet Saturday warmness is all that surrounds Kim Jongin; one of the two days he gets to wake up just a bit later, one of the two days he can simply ignore his alarm and one of the two days he gets morning sex. Jongin loves Saturdays. He stretches his arms and opens his eyes, to be welcomed by such pleasing cloudy November sky, he takes the bed cover and places it just above his mouth, someone fumbles next to him on the mattress, pulling just slightly on the same covers. Jongin instinctively turns around and places his arm around a thin waist, feeling perfect and soft cotton.

He hears some humming from the person next to him, and he just sinks his nose on the other's hair and neck – more humming and fumbling as the other person grabs Jongin's hand on his own warm one.

"Jongina" – is what he hears next, the same voice he has known for over ten years and the one he can never get enough of. Jongin hums back a response, and they remain still for a couple of minutes, just enjoying those moments, as they have done for the past two years of living together.

After playing under the covers, mixing soft moans and gentle kisses, Kyungsoo gets up and goes straight to the bathroom, leaving Jongin to just look at the white ceiling, stretching his arms and legs, playing with his hair. Rain starts to fall behind a massive window, and he smiles to the cute droplets that decorate the crystal.

"Are you leaving early today?" – Kyungsoo asks with a toothbrush in mouth, his grey t-shirt back on his body.
"Around 11:00" – he answers. Kyungsoo goes back to the bathroom and Jongin decides to make some hot chocolate, because that's what the weather is telling him.

He sits on the small and wooden dining table, the one in between the kitchen and their compact living room; the mug warms up his hands as he hears the shower go off behind the thin walls.

Jongin has been seriously considering something for a few months, and is not that he has doubts or that he thinks is a bad idea, he has actually considered it for so long it now seems surreal. He breaths in the soft scent of dark chocolate and wet dirt - the last doesn't upset him anymore, he now actually enjoys cloudy and rainy days – he has taken months pondering when would be the right time: he thought about it when they first moved to Seoul, he considered it when Kyungsoo asked him to live together, he considered it when he graduated from the Universal Ballet School, he thought about it even before he got the main part in The Swan Lake (that was something that momentarily took his mind away from the subject) but that night was closing night and he thinks is the right time.

"Did you have breakfast?" – Kyungsoo speaks to him as they walk pass each other on the hallway to their bedroom.

"I'm feeling funny, I'll eat something on my way, don't worry about it" - Jongin answers with a simple smile on his face – "I made hot chocolate"

Kyungsoo replies with a smile, one that has Jongin smiling even more, his heart starts beating fast. He takes a shower next, he dresses with plain jeans and a big coat, he fixes his bag for that day and wears a beanie - because his black roots look a bit strange. Jongin checks his pockets for train money and his cellphone, he walks quickly to his side of the bed – on his night stand drawer he looks for a small piece of paper, a ticket that with big blue letters reads Swan Lake - 18th of November of 2017.

"Hey Kyung!" – he yells from the room – "Do you have a piece of paper?"

"At the office...under the desk" – Kyungsoo answers without taking his eyes from the stove.

Jongin inspects the dark room, only two desks are in it and he assumes Kyungsoo refered to the one with the printer on top. He's right. He sits down on the comfy leather chair and starts writing, trying for his letter to be as pretty as possible. He's amazed at how easy words come out, since he has never been very good at doing things like this. Jongin places a signature on the bottom, sighing as he gets up and walks back to the bedroom.

He walks out of it leaving the door open and feeling his legs go jelly.

It's going to be a long day.

"I'm leaving" – he announces, placing a gentle kiss on Kyungsoo's forehead, who is sitting on the couch and having his first meal.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat?" – the smaller male asks pointing at the kitchen – "I made toasts"

"I'm fine, really. I'll see you later. I left your ticket on the bed" – Jongin says as he starts to walk towards the door, Kyungsoo holds his hand, giving a little squeeze as he says:

"Good luck today. I'll be the one clapping the hardest"

Jongin grins and winks, he's out of the door in a minute.

Kyungsoo spends the day working inside the office, he only leaves to drink water, eat and go to the bathroom. He doesn't put a foot inside their bedrooms before 5:00 pm, when he has to start getting ready – he ignores the piece of paper that is placed delicately on top of the perfectly arranged bed cover. He wears a navy blue sweater and nice dress pants, his hair is now shorter and is easier to maintain, so he just lets it dry after his second shower that day, Kyungsoo checks for his phone and remembers he should buy flowers before going to the theatre – he checks for his credit card inside his wallet and he's about to close the door when he remembers his ticket.

"Shit, almost forgot" – he mumbles.

His eyes scan over the bed until he finds it; he stops on his tracks when he notices a small black box and a big paper next to it. Kyungsoo suspiciously walks to it, his heart starts to beat faster, even thought he has no clue of what that is about. He remains standing and grabs the paper and the play ticket, both match with blue ink.

Kyungsoo swallows when the first words start to register in his brain.

Have you thought about what a soulmate is? Well, for me it's a... well it's like a best friend, but more. Is the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone that makes you a better person...well, actually they don't make you a better person, you just do that yourself – because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone you carry with you forever, it's the one person who knew you, accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. No matter what, that person will be there and you will always love them.
You are my soulmate, Kyung, and I can't imagine a minute in my life that you are not in it. I want to breathe, sleep and live surrounded by you for the rest of my days, so please answer me: would you marry me?

"What the fuck, Jongin" – Kyungsoo mutters without realizing there are tears coming out of his eyes, he grabs the black box and is amazed by the shiny and silver ring that is inside, he takes it with shaky fingers, and without even thinking about it he places it on his finger, fitting just perfectly, just like him and Jongin have fitted since that cloudy afternoon in elementary school.

Kyungsoo runs out the door with the most ridiculous smile he has ever carried on his face, a wrinkled letter on his coat pocket and a new silver ring in his hand; he ignores he's going to have to wait hours to actually give Jongin an answer but he doesn't care, because he knows they'll simply have many years together after all.