Kaisoo One Shots

Bite [9&10/10]

[10:02 pm 10/07/2016] Jongin: Kyungsoo~~
[10:34 pm 10/07/2016] Kyungsoo: What
[10:37 pm 10/07/2016] Jongin: Kyungieya~~
[10:40 pm 10/07/2016] Kyungsoo: What do you want?
[10:40 pm 10/07/2016] Jongin: You
[10:45 pm 10/07/2016] Jongin: Where are you?
[10:49 pm 10/07/2016] Kyungsoo: Where would I be?
[11:08 pm 10/07/2016] Jongin: I assume that your house? Open up, I'm downstairs.

Kyungsoo sighs, his head rests in a fluffy pillow; he ponders answering, he ponders even opening the door, but it has been a while after all. It's been maybe 6 or 7 months since they saw each other and Jongin's features seem a little foggy in his memory.

Kyungsoo sighs once again and rolls out of bed, putting up on a pair of jeans and grabbing his keys. His heart starts beating quickly once the elevators doors close and the beeping of each floor has his mind rushing, regretting and sighing, all in the 1 minute ride from floor 14.

It's not because they haven't want to meet after Jongin called him that April night, but it's like a silent agreement that they should not rush it. The calls are scattered, but they are closer and closer to each other as days fly. With each one, it seems obvious how time is their best friend, wounds are healing and they have not fight one single time.

"Hey" – he calls Jongin, light t-shirt defining his arm muscles and light-pink strains of hair decorate his forehead. Kyungsoo holds his breath once they look at each other, is almost like he expects to find Jongin with brown hair and his still bloody nose from that night in March... Jongin carries something with him, something wrapped in a white plastic – it looks like a shirt.

Fuck – he thinks. His intention was not to automatically feel attracted to him, but as Jongin comes closer with one hand inside his jeans pocket and a small smirk on his face, Kyungsoo questions all the decisions he has made in the last six months.

"How've you been?" – Jongin asks in the elevator, his voice husky and with scent of rum. Kyungsoo squints, has he been drinking?

"Fine" – the older answers with a hint of a smile; the ride in the elevator is quiet and his heart is not calmed. Kyungsoo brushes his hair out of his forehead once they're out of the confined space and is just in mere seconds that they are inside his apartment.

"So..." – he says after a long while that Jongin didn't say anything, he just paced in Kyungsoo's living room, inspecting the kitchen and taking a few glances of the hall that connects with Kyungsoo's bedroom – "What did you want?"

"Can't I come visit you?" – Jongin says coolly once he turns around and walks closer to Kyungsoo, who is sitting on the couch.

"It's eleven at night" – the older dead pans – "Were you bored?"

Jongin giggles and shakes his head.

"I brought you this" – he says, nudging the shirt, that is actually a jacket – "You left it in my apartment the last time you were there"

His words echo. The last time he was there was on Valentine's Day and he remembers it like – one – of the worst days of his life. He thought that jacket was lost forever.

"How's Chanyeol?" – Jongin says as Kyungsoo doesn't say anything back. Kyungsoo remains still and practically expressionless, even if his heart beats with so much force. He has gotten enough practice.

"Why do you care?"

"Just making small talk, wondering where the boyfriend is..." – he drags the word boyfriend, releasing something close to a grin.

"He's not my boyfriend" – he shuts him down.

"He's not?" – Jongin retorts, moving his head to a side and raising a brow – "You've been dating for a while..."

Kyungsoo's chest takes a jump. Chanyeol and he were something strange – not as strange as he and Jongin – but it was something that lingered, something that felt forced and Kyungsoo always felt like a coward when they were together, taking shield in Chanyeol was easier than remaining lonely.

They are currently only friends and he knows Chanyeol dates someone else.

Jongin comes closer and his smirk grows with every thought Kyungsoo has. Were the previous months a joke? Jongin was back just to make fun of him? His breath of alcohol has Kyungsoo's fingers curl into fists, his mouth is dry and he gets up from the small couch.

"Look, Jongin I can tell you're drunk, if you came just–"

"Okay, Kyungsoo, I'm kidding..." – the younger smiles, taking one of Kyungsoo's hands on his own; it takes him two seconds to brush it off. It sparks something in Jongin because his eyes go wide, his smirk falls and he backs off one step.

"I came because...it's been really long" – Jongin finally says, taking extreme care to pronounce all the words correctly, he nudges the brown couch as if asking permission to sit, Kyungsoo nods and the younger sinks – "I guess it was a bad idea to come when I drank..."

Kyungsoo snorts sarcastically.

"But if I wasn't a little drunk I would have never texted you that...or even come" – Jongin continues, his cheeks turning pinker – "I wanted to see you"

It's a soft murmur but it's all it takes for Kyungsoo to melt, Jongin stares at his reaction and he smiles once again, it's shy, careful, expectant, Kyungsoo missed his features so much it's hurting to stay and contemplate - his throat locks up because he knows he's not over Kim Jongin, even if six months have passed.

"Jongin, let's not–" – Kyungsoo starts speaking, giving his back to Jongin – "Let's not do this again"

It probably doesn't sound definite, his voice shakes and Kyungsoo himself is not even convinced, but there's that ringing bell, something going off in Kyungsoo's mind that tells him he should not go down that path again, he will fall, and to try and get up feels almost impossible.

"That's what I was dreading" – Jongin snickers and his expression is still warm, it just changes to something broken, something it hurts to watch – "I guess I'll go"

Jongin moves his hands up and down his thighs in a nervous manner before he gets up. The bell explodes – you can't do this either, you can't let go – it screams, and fires up Kyungsoo's brain and without thinking he grabs Jongin hand.

"Don't go" – the smaller says. Jongin turns his face and only stares at him, his expressions read confusion, but in a second he starts to rub circles with his thumb in Kyungsoo's skin. Jongin turns his hand, arranges it so it fits and wraps with Kyungsoo's.

"Kyungsoo" – a whisper – "I need you"

Jongin gives a small squeeze – "And it's hard to try and mend what we did, and I know that I did wrong in so many ways. I'm so sorry. And I tried, I tried to not feel like this, I tried with so much force I could have killed– but I need you, I love you so much my entire being is aching to be with you and I can feel you still love me too because you're squeezing my hand even harder"

Kyungsoo lets go as if he was burning and starts to walk to the kitchen counter, Jongin frowns – "Jongin, I–I don't know–" – Kyungsoo stutters and covers his face with his hands.

"Okay, answer me this" – Jongin says, leaning closer to Kyungsoo – "Why did you stop me? Why didn't you let me leave?"

Silence.

"Kyungsoo..." – Jongin whispers and he reaches to touch Kyungsoo's cheek – "I love you"

Kyungsoo breathes heavily, shivering in the process, and even if Jongin can't see his face, he realizes the older is crying. It's like someone stops time, time drags for Kyungsoo because he tries to organize his thoughts – something that seems impossible.

"I don't know what to do" – Kyungsoo begins to speak and his voice breaks more than once – "I don't know what to do anymore...we tried, didn't we? I tried too, and I'm an idiot because nothing worked"

It's embarrassing for Kyungsoo, but after months of holding it in, he finally cries. His chest feels like it might explode as so many tears fall from his eyes. It's even hard to breathe.

"Everything I did these past six months was useless and I'm trying to think what to do but nothing makes sense!" – the older cries harder and Jongin remains by his side, he doesn't dare to put a hand on his shoulder, he doesn't want to cause more pain in Kyungsoo, even if it seems like he will break at any point.

"Do you even know what you're saying? Like what do you expect from this, Jongin? Do you realize how hard it is to stand here after my heart broke? My heart broke in a million pieces and more than once! And my head tells me to run because it'll be the same thing all over again, I'll go back to you and I'll only be your fuck buddy, I'll be the same dude you just look for when you need company" – Kyungsoo sobs into his hands.

"Kyungsoo, listen to me" – Jongin decides to speaks, touching his shoulder and moving Kyungsoo just slightly so they're face to face. Kyungsoo doesn't look at him, remains his eyes on the floor as more tears fall – "I know I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked us both. And the worst part is I don't even know why...I was scared and an idiot and that cost me so much, I'm so sorry I made the person I love feel so much pain"

There's a moment of silence, Kyungsoo listens to Jongin's heavy breathes and sniffs, he must be crying as well.

"I get why you hate me" – Jongin says – "I get why you fell out of love"

Kyungsoo looks at him.

"But...just know that I love you and that it would be different this time around, believe me! I want to be with you and I don't want us to be scared of it anymore." – he says and waits.

Kyungsoo snorts just slightly, drying his cheeks.

"I don't hate you" – Kyungsoo says and looks deep into Jongin's eyes, dark and beautiful as always – "I could never hate you. You mean too much to me"

Jongin dries his cheeks as well and waits.

"Does it mean...?" – Jongin whispers, his eyes hesitate and there's hint of more tears.

Kyungsoo comes closer to him, as slow as he can because he's not sure how all this will turn. Jongin, very carefully, raises his hand and caresses the skin in Kyungsoo's neck - is just what the other needs at the moment. They come closer to each other, there's no space between them anymore. Kyungsoo has his eyes closed and Jongin only contemplates. The clock ticks and Jongin leans his body, starts kissing Kyungsoo's forehead, so tenderly the other even feels it. Kyungsoo's heart hammers as Jongin kisses one of his cheeks and moves to be closer to his mouth; he kisses a corner of his lips and Kyungsoo shivers.