He Wasn't a Jerk In The End (He Wasn't a Jerk #4)

Chapter Twelve Part 1

No need to run to your local eye doctor - you're seeing correctly. Yes, I am updating! ;)

Disclaimer: If you don't like drugs, or you're easily creeped out please don't read this chapter. You won't be missing too much. Or skip to the author's note and I'll fill you in. It's not too harsh, but incase you're very sensitive I advise you not to read.

Chapter Twelve Part One

Louis' Point of View

      I was surrounded. Surrounded by loud chatter. Surrounded by pulsating bodies that mimicked the beat of the music. Surrounded by girls who were more than willing to go home with the right guy. I was surrounded by the pain that was closing in, slowly, slowly killing me inside. One hand was wrapped around the neck of a Hennessy bottle while a small melt-in your mouth strip was clutched in my other hand.  

"You goin' on this trip with me Lou?"

I looked over at my half-friend, half-drug dealer Richie. He grinned at me and lifted up his hand. He was holding a strip similar to mine in his left hand while a woman had nothing on but a G-string kissed up and down his neck. I smiled half-heartedly, took a swig from my bottle and feeling the liquor slide down my throat. It wasn't enough to ease the pain.

I nodded and help up my strip. "Hell yeah I am." Richie winked, whispered something to the brunette who titled her head back and allowed him to place the small strip his tongue and close his mouth to let it dissolve. The second Richie closed his mouth, I followed suit.

Drinking burned my throat, left a bitter taste in my mouth and stayed around till the morning in the form of a hangover. Drugs? Drugs cured me. They erased the pain I once felt. They brought me to a happier, second home that I felt safe in - secure. My heart no longer ached with the longing to hold her in my arms, to kiss her and tell her I loved her once more. To ask her why she had to leave me.

With drugs, I even left me.

Was I this much of a terrible person?

"You're not a terrible person babe."

I looked to my left, an empty glass sat on the coffee table in the VIP section that Richie had booked for us. The glass looked at me, gave me a wink and smiled. I remember her from last time. She never gave me a name, she called me babe. She made me happy. Her eyes were a vivid blue that were framed with long eyelashes that blinked at me. Her bright pink lips curved into that flirtatious smile of hers every single time.

Suddenly, almost in the blink of an eye, the glass shattered into a million pieces along with my heart. The room started to move, as if it was breathing. I could hear a thumping against my body that wasn't the beat of the music. My heart raced, my body perspirated.

"Fuck," I muttered, my mouth getting dry and making it hard to swallow. The room started to sway with a nonexistent wind. Reaching out for stability, I smelt the coffee table with my fingertips. Damn, I thought, Smells like Starbucks. Maybe that's why they call it a coffee table.

I brought my hands up to my face - or at least I think I did. I stared at my hands, which weren't there anymore. They were laying on the coffee table where I had last touched it. Blood was running down my forearms, but I couldn't even feel the pain in my wrists - it was all in my heart as it struggled to pump blood through my veins.

Louis, I love you, she whispered.

Louis don't give up on me

Don't

give

up

on

"FUCK," I yelled to her, she was standing on the opposite side of the coffee table, "Go away! I don't fucking love you anymore! You're the one who left me! You think I'm that fucking stupid? Go to hell! You don't deserve me! I'm fucking happy without you!" I was furious, my neck was heating up as all the blood rushed from my heart to my head.

She screamed, her head exploded as she screamed for me. Screamed that she was alone, that she felt my pain. But her pain worsened as blood gushed everywhere, the tortuous scream rang out in my mind - almost deafening - as I tried to pick up the pieces of her head that was laying at her slowly dissolving feet.

"Baby," I sobbed, "B-Baby, baby, oh god! Baby!" I let out a wretched scream as the pieces I was trying to pick up melted through my hands and leaked onto the ground where they slowly started to evaporate into nothing I could see anymore.  

"I still love you too," I whispered, tears streaming down my face, "I never stopped Victoria."

~*~

     Startled, I woke up saturated in sweat. My hair was matted to my drenched forehead, my clothes felt heavy on my body and clung to my skin. My breathing was shallow, my mouth felt dry and my throat felt thick as I tried to swallow. I sat there on the couch that Victoria allowed me to crash on for the night letting out slow, deep breaths. The pillows she provided me with were thrown all over the living room, the plush blanket was a tangled mess at the end of the couch.

"God damn it," I muttered to myself.

I knew that trip with acid wasn't a dream. It was a memory from three years ago in a gentleman's club with my sort of friend Richie, who also happened to be the person who fed my drug addiction. Apparently, Richie's trip didn't last half as long as mine did. He tried to intervene, he said he even brought me into back room where I eventually came down from the hallucination about two hours later.

Richie provided the purest and highest quality drugs that you could ever imagine. I never had any problem with the heroin, angel dust, or cocaine that I used during my drug addiction. After one too many LSD trips gone wrong, I knew I needed help from a rehabilitation center.

I checked into one three weeks after the hallucination with Victoria. Seven months later I was discharged from the rehab center (many thanks to the too-kind staff that nursed me back to a correct mental state). I've been clean for two years since then and I have never wanted to divulge in the drug world again - or even the world of alcohol. Ever since the moment I checked out of that rehab center, I had one thing on my mind and it was finding a better life for myself.

I'd like to think I was on that path before life took me in a direction that I never thought I'd travel down again. A path that involved a drug - a new vice. I don't think there's anyway that I could stay away from her again. Victoria made me feel alive - happy even.

And that's a feeling no drug could ever provide for me.

~*~

Hello amigos.

This was short, filler chapter. The top part before the ~*~ is a dream/flashback for anyone who did not read it or did not understand it. It was basically Louis going through a hallucination three years ago after taking LSD or acid. I've never taken LSD before, so please *don't* correct me if I'm wrong. It was just what I've imagined it would be like, plus from researching the drug I know it causes an insane trip that can bring inanimate objects(like the glass) come to life and other things. The trips can be GOOD or BAD. This one just happened to be bad for Louis.

I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter and Chapter Twelve Part Two should be coming sometime this weekend, but if not next week definitely.

Love you guys ♥

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