The Office Curve

Bikini? Lord, have Mercy!

Pop Quiz - how to do you go about planning a sweet proposal in a tropical paradise when everyone assumes that you're already married?

Nobody knows. Well geez, you're no help.

I could give a man a million ideas on how to propose to his lady love - after all, I work for a wedding website. I've written countless articles about lucky women being the recipients of creative and elaborate proposals. A proposal at the top of the Eiffel Tower is the "Old Faithful" of wedding proposals - it's cliche, but works every single time. Flash mobs recently have become all the rage, with tens, maybe even hundreds of random people, coming together to dance to some schmaltzy love song of significance to the future bride before her future groom appears with some shiny rock in a black box that he probably went to Jared for.

My sister's engagement was just as elaborate. Lenin pulled out all the stops the night he proposed to her. Fancy restaurant, romantic carriage ride throughout the city, and a sweet serenade from a chorus of little "angels" holding lit candles (not real angels, but children dressed up like them). The finishing touch? A two-carat, Princess-cut solitaire engagement ring that requires the use of sunglasses who anyone who dares to get a closer look, or on very sunny days.

Such a beautiful proposal for such an ugly troll.

Just because I work at a wedding website, doesn't mean I'm into these sort of things. I always thought whenever I found the man I was destined to marry, we'd just make the decision to marry together and make an appointment to visit City Hall a few days later. And don't get me started on this whole "female proposal" idea - more women may be doing it, but it's not so mainstream that they've got website devoted to the idea.

I heard there was a jeweler that specialized in male engagement rings, but it's not like I needed to visit them. After all, I had Mr Harris' wedding band to use for my proposal, even though I had no idea of just how to do it. The idea of just walking over and asking while shoving the ring box against his chest seemed crass to me. If the roles were switched and he did that to me, I'm pretty sure I'd shove my knee up into a very sensitive place while telling him in a very colourful language where he could shove that ring.

Never mind that I'm not into proposals in the first place.

"Zara, are you ready yet?" Kaim's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I tucked the box back into my carryon bag, taking a deep breath. I didn't want to clue him in on anything, as as my eyes drifted over floral bikini resting on top of the bed, I had bigger fish to fry. "What are you doing still in your robe? The caddy will be here to pick us up soon."

"I know, but..." My eyes gestured to my clothing on the bed as I let out a small whimper. "I don't think I can go through with this."

"What?" Kaim chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, I see. But as smoking hot as you will be in it, I don't think you have to worry about setting the entire resort on fire. We are nearby water, after all."

"This is serious! Don't tease me!" I may be a grown ass woman, but that didn't stop me from pouting like a bratty child. "I've never worn a bikini in public before, hell, private, too. Besides, I'm pretty sure there's an unspoken rule that forbids women like me from wearing one."

"If that were the case, you wouldn't have been able to by that bikini in the first place. Besides, isn't that the one Rachael made you buy? I don't think she'd put you in something that looked terrible on you."

Damn his and his valid points! It's just so annoying! "Well, maybe not, but..."

"But nothing, Zara. You're going to rock that bikini and you know it." I sighed as he wrapped me up into a warm hug. "You can't let this stuff get to you all the time."