The Office Curve

Officially...Sort Of

It was a quiet ride trip back to the boat dock.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

He opened his mouth, but only grunts and groans came out.

I couldn't blame him, and I don't think he could blame me either.  I mean, seriously, what the hell can you say after something like that happens?

Again...what in the almighty fuck just happened?

We proposed to each other - that's what happened.  We got carried away in the games that lovers play, and we got engaged.

We got engaged?

How did that happen?

Oh yeah, he asked me, and I asked him - that's how it happened.

But did it really happen?

My mind ran a mile a minute.  We were really engaged.  Were we really engaged?  We said "yes" to each other, but was it a real "yes" or was it like playing "House" in preschool where the snot-nosed kid would propose but you knew it was just for the sake of the game?  Did this really happen?  Was I really going to be Mrs. Kaim Harris?  Did I really need to think buying a wedding dress and planning a wedding or would we end up going to City Hall like I always assumed that I would?  Didn't this mean that I needed a ring?  Would we have to go shopping at Zales or Jared, or was a visit to the pawn shop in order so we could save more money.

My head wouldn't stop pounding.  I rubbed my temples, overwhelmed by my thoughts.  It was all too much.

Kaim didn't appear to be as troubled by this as I was.  That didn't mean he wasn't - I knew better than to assume things just by looking at them - but he wasn't rubbing his temples or anything.  But he did look like he was thinking about this as much as I was.  He face was devoid of his expression, as his eyes clouded, as though they were somewhere far away from here.

Who was I kidding?  He was just as freaked out about this as I was.  He just had a different way of showing it.

What would happen now?  No, the better question was where do we go from here?  What do I tell people?  Am I going to be an honest woman now?  Should I tell my family that I'm engaged?  Does saying something even matter now I've given them the heave-ho?  I had a ring, and I really wanted to marry him.  But I was hoping to do something more romantic, you know?  Nothing like those super flashy proposals on television and Youtube that put pressure on a man considering marriage.  If Kaim was telling the truth, then I'm sure he hoped to do the same thing.  

Our "proposals" to each other, while spoken with love, didn't involve fireworks, flash mobs, and flagrant romanticism.  So, did that make it a real proposal?  Delish Weddings and the other lionnesses would say "hell to the naw, girl you crazy" but the fluttering of my heart said otherwise.

Was it real?  Or were we just playing around?  I wanted so much to know the answer for sure.

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By the time we made it back to the dock, I felt like I should have two grandchildren awaiting my arrival.  It felt like it took that long.  The captain showed us some of the most beautiful sites on the island, but I was too wrapped up in my dilemma to really appreciate them.  The hostess treated us to a delicious lunch - real Thai, not that stuff back home that advertised itself as Thai - but my stomach still felt empty.  I was in paradise, but I felt like I was in my own private hell.  

We still hadn't said a word to each other.  I still didn't know what to say.  

The caddy was no better at getting us back to our villa quickly.  I was dreading what would happen behind closed doors.  As an ominous feeling near crushed my chest, I feared that the moment I stepped through that door that my suspicions would be verified, and I'd discover that was all silliness.