Secrets inside my heart

Chapter 9: Overflowing Emotions

  "You feeling okay?" Kyle mumbled to me, I nodded. I had an attack last night. It was bad but I pulled through, Kyle is the only to know.  "Okay, are you sure you feel stable enough to go to school? Maybe julien can let you stay home."

"No I'm fine." I snapped a little but I was really just worn out a lot right now.

"I'm sorry." He put his head down and sighed. I started to walk out of the door and he followed. As soon as we rounded the corner of the apartments and was out of sight of smoke detectors I pulled out a cigarette.

"Johnnie what the hell?" I rolled my eyes at him and began to smoke it. "What the fuck are you doing!"

"What does it look like? I'm smoking a cigarette." I know it's really bad for you but I had snuck out last night to buy some and they really calm your nerves. I probably should've waited and tried something with less nicotine but honestly everything is just too stressing to wait.

"Are you gonna become a druggie or something now? You're not a fucking stoner Johnnie you can damage your lungs!"

"Please just stop!" I screamed, he went silent but I could tell he wanted to say more. As we passed a window I looked at myself in it. My eye was bruised and black and my lip was swollen still from the beating. I wanted to shriek away from my reflection because it was pure horrid to look at.

"Everyone at school is going to mistaken me for a racked zombie." I sighed.

"No they're not you look, fine" He had paused in hesitation giving it away that he had even agreed with me.

"Whatever." Having enough of the cigarette I dragged it on the wall burning it out then tossed it into a bush.

"There's the bus now c'mon." Great I'm approaching humanity once more. As I stepped into the bus almost all of the attention was on me and I absolutely hated it. Instead of sitting with Bryan or Kyle I just sat alone up front so no one would have to look at my face.

"That emo kid looks rigged!" I heard someone shout followed by snickers and laughter. I really don't understand how this sickened world is so fucked up. There's nothing wrong with this world actually, there's something wrong with humans.

Kyles POV

I was worried sick for Johnnie, I was scared more than anything. He's always been so walked over and scared of everything that he can't muster up anything to have confidence in himself.

"Why were you talking to that one kid?" Nye had randomly asked me.

"What? Who? Johnnie?" He nodded in disgust. I bit my lip, "U-uh I don't know he was just talking to me about some stupid shit." 

"He's just such a fag, I'm sorry you had to live with him."

"He's a sorry excuse to live am I right?" I absolutely was so disgusted in myself. Nye just nodded his head.

"There's a rumor that you two are dating."

"Oh god no I would never date Johnnie Guilbert I'm not gay!" I denied. My chest felt tight and I leaned against the locker so I wouldn't fall over from the nausea I was having.

"Kyle you look sick." I shook my head. We started walking to the cafeteria and as we did there was a fight going on. "Woah look a pipsqueak is getting beat up." I turned my head realizing who it was.

"J-Johnnie...Oh no." I squeezed in through the crowd up front. Johnnie was surrounded by too many kids to get away, he was mainly getting beat by Greg Halter, head of the football team. As soon as he spotted me I wish I hadn't made eye contact.