Déjà Vu

eight

Blake's POV

After the fight, I directly went down to call Pharrell. Pharrell wasn't answering though. Maybe he's producing or whatsoever. I call Adam instead. " Hey dickweed. " he says, " Hey, something's wrong with your sister. " I say, " What's happening with Gwen? " he says. His voice became more serious. " She's isolating herself and she kinda hallucinating that Gavin is here and I don't know how to help her. " I say, " Have you at least consult the doctor? " he says sounding really worried about Gwen. " Nope but I'm really scared for her I mean she's very very fragile and she's been through a lot and I can't take it to see her go through pain. " I felt my voice breaking but I had to control myself. " I'm visiting you there. I'll be going with Behati and maybe Pharrell. So we can help her. Moral support and stuff. " he says. " Thank you so much! See you. " I reply. It's kinda weird for me and Adam to have a serious conversation.

I check up on her. She's not in her bed. She's not in her closet. I see her in her comfort room. She's crying. " What is happening to me? " she says to me and I hug her tight. " No matter what. I'm here. If I get mad at you, I will still not leave you. " I assure her. " Am I going crazy? " she asks me again and I kiss her forehead repeatedly. " No. You are not crazy. You're crazy beauty babe. " I tell her. " Thank you babe. But can you leave me for a while. I'll join you and the boys later. " she says.

Gwen's POV

I'm hallucinating. I'm becoming anxious and more anxious each time. What is happening to me? Why did I have to live like this?

Something pushed me to go research about illness that has symptoms of hallucinations and anxiety. I'm, I'm in shock. This illness. It's like I have it. I have the symptoms and all. I'm mentally ill. I have schizophrenia and GAD. How can I tell this to my family, friends and especially, Blake. What will happened to them if I ever die?

Multiple knocks on the door was heard. I saw Blake get the door and Adam, Behati and Pharrell arrive. It's good to see them but I want to avoid them because I can get all crazy. But I need to control myself. I can lose everything I have if I don't control myself. The boys check on me. " Mom. We have guests. " Zuma knocks. " Come here. " I say, " I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I'm just so stressed about everything that's happening around me. If you want you can go back with your dad? " I tell them. " It's okay mom. And we'll be staying here by your side! " Kingston said. Zuma went outside first Kingston stayed for a while. " King, can you tell something? Just keep this between you and me. Okay? " I say, " Sure mom! " he says, " Your mom is sick. She has mental illness. " I took the courage to tell him that, he cries and I wipe his tears and kiss him. " Promise you'll help me and stay by my side okay? " I say and I try to hold back tears. " Anything for you mom! " e hugs me so tight that I never want to let him go of my arms. But he's too old to still be in my arms, I need to learn to let go of things cause I know that if the anxiety eats me up, I can give up on life.

We all went to eat and Behati was comforting me the whole time. It felt like she was the daughter I never had. I felt light and good around her. " Gwen, I know we just became close. " she jokes, " You can tell me anything. Secrets and stuff. I won't tell it to the nasty boys! " she says as she moves closer to me. " Ugh, you and my eldest son are the only people that knows about this..." My voice starts to crack and I feel tears slowly fall down my face. She pats my back and she holds my hand tight. " I-I'm mentally ill. I-I have schizophrenia and GAD. " I say as I broke down. I felt the pain eating me all up but I have to stay strong. " I'm sorry Gwen! I should've not asked you. I'm really sorry! " she asks for apology and I hug her, " It's okay. I feel kinda good to let this secret out. " I tell her and she smiles. " Do you want to consult the doctor? So we can confirm that you have schizophrenia and GAD. I'll be here to support! I can be your secret daughter. " she smiles and she cheers me up. " I would love to! I'll try to appoint tomorrow. You in? " I tell her and her eyes light up. " Of course! I can't wait. " she says then she hugs me like I'm her real mother.

" Looks like somebody's having fun! " Blake and Adam says in unison but Pharrell just laughs at the side. " Were you listening? " I ask, " No! We were upstairs proving all that Blake's decisions in life are wrong! " Adam jokes, " Haha real funny dickweed. " Blake replies.

All I needed was the people that truly cares for me to support me. But I'm scared if they'll leave me after they discover that I'm mentally ill. I'm going to tell Pharrell first then Adam and last Blake. I don't want him to worry so much because we're not even married yet so we can still have space and time from each other.

A/N:

2/4 chapter updates for today!!

I'm so sad for Gwen! I wish that she could have the courage to tell everybody so that ppl would show support to her. I wish that she could be happy all the time in this story but it doesn't seem realistic to have 0 problems in life especially when you're like Gwen, living in the public eye.

So I hope you all like it!!

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