Déjà Vu

ten

Gwen's POV

" Gwen, what's in that envelope? Tell me! " he says. " It's nothing! " I'm starting to get pissed. " Just tell me what's inside! " he's pissed now, " Why can't you wait?! " I say. " You've been telling everybody except for me! Don't you trust me? If you don't, then this relationship won't last." he says and it broke my heart into millions. He's like saying that I'm ruining our relationship. I couldn't control myself. I couldn't be the normal girl I used to be in Anaheim. I couldn't be the perfect mom, I always dreamed of. " So you're saying that I'm ruining our relationship? " I say while I bawled. " Yes- I mean no." he replies, " Thats what I thought you meant," I wiped my tears and I tried to hide the pain. I rushed to go to the room to pack my things. But he grabbed my arm and I keep removing it. " Why can't you make up your mind? You just said that I'm ruining this relationship now you want me back?! You can't have 2 things at once Blake! " he finally lets go of my hand and he seats on the stair. I pack my things and I hurry down stairs. " Can you just at least tell me what's in that envelope? " he says as he grabs my wrist again. " No! You don't have the right to know about this. " I say trying to get away from his hands. " Why can't you tell me? Are you sick? What the hell Gwen! I've been here even you're at your lowest points. Why can't you trust me? " he raises his voice, " It's not the fact that I don't trust you anymore. It's the fact that you're becoming impatient! Why can't you wait for the right time! I just need time and space. Away from you. " those words came out of my mouth as I broke down. " I've done everything for you and this is how you'll pay me back?! I myself couldn't trust you anymore! " he continues with his raised voice. " Do you really want to know? I'm sick! I have schizophrenia and anxiety disorder! Are you happy now? Are you contented now? Just take care of the boys. " I try to put a brave face on. I left Blake kneeling on the floor begging for me to stay.  I declined, I couldn't stay with the guy that blamed me for ruining our relationship. 

I throw everything in my car. The guys and Behati are trying to let me stay but I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to drive back to LA. Blake, Adam, Behati, Pharrell and  Gavin are blowing up my phone. While I was driving, tears that flow down my cheeks doesn't seem to stop. It just keeps on going. Now, I'm having a hard time breathing, my heart is racing and I'm shaking so bad. I tried to stop at the side of the road.

Blake's POV

She's gone again. She's mentally ill. She needs me right now but she didn't want to see me anymore. She's right, I'm impatient and selfish. I'm a douchebag. I feel like shit after doing that to her. " See! This is what happens when you let you get a full of yourself! Why can't you wait, Blake? She was waiting for the perfect timing because she wanted to make sure that you won't leave her after she tells you about her condition! " Adam hits me. Pharrell tries to stop Adam, but I can't blame him. He treated Gwen like a sister. I couldn't do something about that. " I'm sorry about Adam. We'll go back to LA tomorrow to give you space. " Behati says and I nod. " Blake! Gwen is calling you! " Pharrell says as he points to my phone. I rushed to pick the phone up. " Gwen?! " I say, " Sir! Is this Ms. Stefani's family? " a guys asks and I'm panicking. " No but we are close friends. " I reply and Pharrell has his hands on his head. " Ms. Stefani got into an accident in the highway. Was she drunk ? " the paramedics ask. I start to cry. I rarely cry from somebody but if that person is my family, my close friend or the love of my life, I'll break down. " No, no she wasn't, But she might had a panic attack? I don't know. " I reply, " Ms. Stefani will be taken to the St. Andrew's hospital. Thank you. " the guy said. " What was it about? " Pharrell says looking really worried, " Gwen got into an accident along the highway. " I tried to hide the pain. " We have to go now. I'm going to get Adam now. " Pharrell hurries. 

I saw Adam crying along with Behati as they go down. When Adam walked passed me, he whispered " Nice job cowboy. " then he rolls his eyes. I tell Pharrell the way where the hospital is located. We arrive at the hospital. " May we know where Gwen Stefani's room is? " Adam asks, " Her room is Room 103. It's on the 2nd floor. " the lady says. " Thank you. " Adam says as we went to the 2nd floor, rushing. We finally arrive to see Gwen with a life support. Behati cries on Adam's shoulder. Pharrell  holds Gwen's hands while Adam is trying to be tough. She looks like an angel. She still has the beauty that caught my attention during the first time I felt during the day we talked about our feelings. I did this to her. If it wasn't for me, she's still smiling today. I'm sorry Gwen.

The nurse gives us a pouch that contains her things. My attention went to a paper. It had our names on it. Adam. Blake. Pharrell. Behati. We read each one aloud. 

Dear Adam,

Thanks for being my little brother. Thanks for backing up the kids when they get hurt. Thank you for everything you did for me. We're the same now, we're bipolar. I'm going to miss ya boy. I'm sorry for not giving you time since Blake appeared in my life and for this short letter. Just take care of Behati. Love you.

gx

he smiled and cried after reading the letter. he also whispered something into her ear.

Dear Pharrell,

Hey P! Thank you for all your words of wisdom. I will always treasure them forever. We rarely had time to talk to each other during season 9, I'm sorry for that. I just wish you and your family happiness and good health. sorry for this super short letter. i miss ya hats boo! love u boo!

gx

he cries and holds Gwen's hand tighter.

dear Behati,

hey boo! I never thought that I would treat you like my daughter. Since I met you the other day, you've been my friend. We've gotten close with only 2 days! how crazy is that! I'm happy that you have someone like Adam. Take good care of him okay! By the way, if I have another NYFW can you be part of my show? That would be the best thing you will ever give me! Love you baby!

gx

she goes to Adam's side and she gives her a kiss on Gwen's forehead. she tries to put a brave face on but she breaks down.

dear Blake,

A/N: 

CLIFFHANGER!!! AHAHA. its a sad chapter for shefani shippers :((( Im sorry for breaking ur hearts. This chapter is weird bc Im using the comp to update this and I'm not used to it. Next update will be next week! and the book might end on the 25th :(( but there will be a super announcement on the 25th!

p.s. THANK YOU FOR THE 700+ reads! love you guys 

what do you think is in Blakes letter? 

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