I'm Gonna Make You Miss Me (Sam Hunt)

Chapter 14: Over Forever

~Leila's POV~

"What do you want?" Sam asked. 

Well, he looked thrilled to see me here. He was sitting on the couch type thing that was in his tour bus sipping on a beer. I was shocked because I figured him being on tour and having to go out and play shows, he would stop the drinking but it was still the same as before. 

"I want answers," I replied. 

"Didn't Michael give you answers?" He asked, with a smirk.

"I don't want answers from Michael. I want answers from you. He didn't not want to get back together, he wasn't the one to walk out when I was pregnant. You were. Therefore, I want answers from you. Not him." I said. 

"You don't need answers." He exclaimed 

"I know I don't need answers, but I want them. I deserve to know why you decided on the actions that you chose." I replied.

It was the truth. I did deserve to know why he did what he did. I wasn't wrong for wanting answers by any means. Any one who was in my place would want answers. It's the least that he could do after all the damage that he caused.

"You really want answers? Okay. I was scared. I didn't know how to become a father, let alone a single father. I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore and I honestly felt that you becoming pregnant would be just another way to force me to have a relationship with you. See there are things you don't know. You don't know the whole story. You are only seeing things from your point of view and not from mine. I was going to break up with you anyways. I didn't know how to do so therefore I tried to start fights between you and I. I did what I wanted and acted like I was single. Because I was going to be soon. Finally, the trash basically took out itself because you called and said that we were over. I was happy because I thought what I had done had finally worked and I didn't have to have the burden of being with someone anymore. I could finally do what I wanted, when I wanted, and there was nothing that could be said. Then you broke the news that you were pregnant and I just decided to drop it. I knew it made me look like a shitty person but at the time I didn't care. I was too afraid. I wasn't ready to become a father. Let alone a single father. I know I shouldn't have done what I did and I won't ever be able to forgive myself, but everyone makes mistakes. I've made several. We all have. We just need to learn to live with our mistakes." Sam replied.

All though, I should be extremely pissed off right now, I can understand his point. It makes sense. I don't feel sorry for him but I also don't hate him. I've been hurt by him, yes. I've been hurt in ways that I'll most likely never be the same because of. But that's what life is all about. I will be okay with time and support from friends and family. I don't plan on ever being in a relationship with Sam again. I made that mistake once. I don't even know that him and I will stay friends. Maybe we will but it's also not a promise. I still don't hate him though. Everyone has people that we don't love, but we don't hate. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. We have to learn to live without some people. Sometimes we can other times it drives us absolutely over the edge. I wasn't going to become one of those. I wasn't going to become like my sister. I was going to be stronger than her and make her, my parents, and my other relatives proud as well as be genuinely happ with my life.

My sister died when she was sixteen. Her and her boyfriend at the time had gone through a terrible break up. She had anxeity and depression before they got in to a relationship. But he made it worse at times. There were times where it seemed like he had solved all of her problems but then there were times where he had just made it worse. At the time, I was fifteen. I didn't know much about my sisters condition because she mainly didn't talk about it to anyone much except her close friends who had gone through the same thing at some point. Any how, she found out that he had cheated on her with another girl for the majority of their relationship. It completely tore her to pieces. Her depression became uncontrollable. She turned into exactly what our parents raised us not to be. She skipped school, started with drugs, and basically was living on the street rather than being at home with her parents and sister. My parents and I tried to help her as much as we could, but it never worked. Eventually, she became suicidal. I still remember it clear as day. It was December 5th, 2009. I was at home in my room studying for finals for class. My parents were in their room asleep. It was late at night and I heard the front door of our childhood home open. I knew it was probably just my sister so I didn't bother to look. Then I heard the faint screams and cries from down stairs. I walked down and that's when I found her. She had commited suicide by cutting herself. The burden was too much. She couldn't handle life anymore. The depression, the anxiety, the drugs, the drinking, it soaked all of her up and turned her in to someone else none of us recognized. It wasn't the Sophie we all knew. She was too much of a beautiful person to go through all that. I remember for months after wishing it had been me rather than her. I loved my older sister too much to let her go. But then I realized that I not only needed to be strong for myself but for my parents too. That's when I started working harder in school, getting good grades, and applying for good colleges. I've come along way, no doubt. I wasn't going to let anything stop me from doing what I had wanted to do with life. Especaially not Sam.

(A/N: Comment feedback! Be sure to vote. I love reading feedback from you guys. That update was kind of a shocker, huh? Feel free to leave your thoughts about that.)