I'll Make This Feel Like Home (Kellic)

4

Once Vic had said his goodbyes to not only me, but the others that he had more or less forced me on, he left. And now I was alone, and saying I was filled with anxiety was an understatement. I didn't want to be here, and I regret agreeing to stay here all night.

I didn't want to really talk to anyone, so I took the bag that Vic gave me, and followed Jenna, who said she needed to use the restroom. It turned out that it was a gender neutral restroom, which meant all genders could use it. It wasn't weird or anything, because it wasn't like there was anything sexual about using the restroom. Everyone more or less minded their own business

I used the toothbrush and toothpaste that was inside of the bag, feeling a million times better when I was done. But still feeling kind of stupid for using them. I just felt like charity work, but I can't deny I appreciated it, because I needed them.

Obviously when I left home, I had a toothbrush and toothpaste, along with other small necessities, but it's been 5 months, And things happen. You lose stuff, and you run out of other things. It wasn't easy, but I think I was doing okay. But then again, Jordan thinks he's doing okay, too. And he's a mess, falling apart apart at the seems.

I existed the restroom, putting everything thing in my backpack, and followed Jenna like a shadow, back to the dinning area. Everyone now was getting ready for bed. I followed Jenna to a corner of the room where Tay was. I felt awkward because they're together and I was a total third-wheel. Jenna sat beside Tay, getting under a large comforter that comfortably covered the both of them, with some extra on the sides. I stood there watching them, not knowing if they wanted me to leave, and not knowing if I wanted to leave either. Where would I go though? The only other people I really knew where Dan and Phil, but I wasn't too fond of them. I wasn't really content with Jenna either, but she was the closest there was to it.

"Kellin, you could sit down." Jenna laughed, scooting over so there was a space between the two and the wall. I decided to take the offer, knowing it was only the best choice.

I silently thanked her, so quiet I'm sure she didn't even hear, and sat down, putting the pillow Vic gave me behind me so I wasn't against the brick.

Jenna and Tay started talking about lots of thing. They talked about how Tay just nailed a job, and she would be starting on Tuesday. And then they started talking about money and what they would be doing for Christmas. I had almost forgotten about Christmas altogether. I tried to think about what the date was, and was able to calculate that there were still 3 weeks until the holiday.

The conversation between the two girls made me a little depressed. This would be the first Christmas that I would spend without my family- or without anybody for that matter. I would be completely alone on a holiday meant for cheer, warmth, and family. But I didn't have any of that.

I started thinking about last year, how Christmas was when I still had a family. It was such a joyous time, even though my parents always worked the most during that time of year. But on the actual day, we would have a quiet dinner, just the three of us that consisted of tasty, honey-smoked ham that my dad would slave over- because my mom was actually a terrible cook. And lots of random dishes that we really didn't need, but were delicious nonetheless. And after, we would watch movies and lounge around the fireplace with hot chocolate. We were such a picture perfect family, I never thought they would turn on me the way they did.

But The thought of my cozy house and our fireplace made me realize how fucking cold it actually was in here, especially with nothing under my bottom, making it easy to feel the cold from the tile below. I started to physically shake, my body desperate for some friction in return for heat.

Jenna glanced at me, probably noticing my shivering. "Are you okay?" She asked, and of course I said I was, because I don't want sympathy.

Tay looked over at me, too. "Oh, you're probably freezing." She assumed, correctly. She then moved over more, Jenna following her actions, allowing to see that there was another blanket underneath them. "You can share with us." She said with a sweet-as-sugar smile.