I'll Make This Feel Like Home (Kellic)

15

For 2 weeks I met up with Max and Connor, sucking them off like I was a blowjob machine, just so I could get high. It was pathetic, and I knew I had hit rock bottom. It was occupying my lame excuse of a life. It was all I really was now, and I wasn't quite sure how it had happened. It was like I was sat at the bottom of a pool, looking up. And I could feel myself drowning, my lungs giving out, threatening to collapse upon themselves, yet I could never bring myself to resurface.

Foe now I was in my room, trying to write some lyrics, but I just couldn't do it.

"Hey, Kellin." I looked up and saw Tony before. I didn't even notice him walk in. I couldn't focus on more than one thing at a time, it seems.

"What?" I asked.

"Uh, nothing. I was just looking for Tay." He said, looking around the room like she would just magically appear. I rolled my eyes and looked back down to my book, quickly scratching out what I had wrote, and tearing out the page.

"Well she's not here." I stated before wadding up the paper and throwing it to the ground. I went back to writing, but then briefly noticed that Tony was still here.

"Can I help you?" I asked, coldly.

"What's going on with you?" He questioned. "You've been...not yourself lately."

"What do you mean? Tony, you don't even know what I'm like. You don't know me at all, and Tay isn't here so can you just leave?" I said, in more of a shout than anything. I was just aggravated by everything. Tony was so annoying, and clingy, I can't believe I ever hung out with him.

"Fine," he said, plainly before leaving. I rolled by eyes, forgetting all about him and going back to scribbling down shit lyrics that were either way too intense, or didn't make any sense.

--
A few hours had passed and I felt that I needed a fix. I knew Connor and Max would be around so I could get what I craved. I stood up and hid my book under my mattress before grabbing my backpack, throwing it over my shoulder, and headed towards the door, only to be stopped by a body blocking the way.

My vision locked with Vic, but I was quick to look down and step away from him.

"What do you want?" I asked, harshly. Was it 'Bother Kellin Day' today or something? All the people I really don't want to speak to have just conveniently decided that it would be a great time to chat with me.

"Tony talked to me, and I just wanted to check on you." I snickered slightly at his comment. Half of it was just because I was beyond annoyed with Tony, and how he couldn't just leave things alone. The other half was more because Vic said he came to check on me, and for some reason I find that fucking hilarious.

"Right," I said simply before stepping forward to leave, but he was quick to stop me of course.

I sighed, stepping back. "What, Vic? What do you want?"

"Kellin, what are you on?" He asked, cautiously.

"Nothing." I said, not even catching myself and how I scratching at the back of my neck, and head as a tick I didn't know I had developed.

"I've dealt with enough addicts to now you're lying."

But I wasn't lying. I wasn't an addict. I just did this because I had nothing better to do, and it made me feel better.

"I can take care of you, Kellin." He added.

"That's rich." I laughed.

"What?"

"It's funny how you're pretending you care. What? Am I just going to be used so people will think you're more of a fucking angel? I can hear it now, 'Pretentious Christian helps homeless crack addict'. fuck that."