Don't look back

Chapter ten

That woman keeps looking at me. The old one that's knitting. Maybe she can see right through me. Maybe she knows...no she doesn't. Calm down, Everly. The black cloud shyly poked around me and without warning, collapsed on me. I shuddered and took deep breaths and the white hot agonizing pain flowed through my body. I subconsciously thought of the baby and realized that this wasn't healthy for it at all. The fear that I felt...was so real...so intense. I was so scared. So I let the fear in. Let it do its thing. But only for 5 seconds, that's all I was gonna give it. 1...2...3...4...5. And then it stopped. For the first time in my life, I made it go away. I took the brief reprieve to look at the other passengers. There was a family of 5 close by to where I was sitting. A tall, skinny, fragile looking woman in probably her late 30s, accompanied by a dark haired teenage boy with a scowl on his face, a short girl with curly red hair sat straight backed, a smaller girl with short blond hair looked bored, and a blond baby boy was sleeping in his mother's arms. Where was the father? He obviously wasn't in the picture. I couldn't judge though because my kid won't have a father either. There was a very pregnant girl by me as well, she looked about my age and as if she was going to pop. She was holding hands with the boy siting next to her and they were staring dreamily in each other's eyes. I wondered about my family. Since it was only 5 in the morning, I doubted anyone would've gotten my letter. But as I imagined the looks on their faces when they realized I wouldn't ever see them again, I fought the urge to become violently ill. But I couldn't be near them now. It would do a great disservice to them by announcing that I was forced upon twice and now I was carrying my teach theatre teacher's baby. And to stay? That would slowly kill them, even if they don't realize it. So I had to make a new life. I know it's not gonna be perfect. What life is? But it'll be something. And it'll be away from Mr. Kasslin. I thought of Leslie, and felt a pang of guilt. She didn't have any other friends besides me. I knew my parents would tell her about my letter and she would know, but somehow thinking about my best friends reaction was worse then thinking about my family's. With images of accusations, tears, and broken hearts....I drifted into a fretful sleep.