Teenage Dirtbag

33

Song to listen to: A.M. - One Direction

-Noel-

The drive to my unfortunate destination was filled with regret. I had pulled over to the side of the road numerous times, but still drove on.

I cried, not knowing what would happen if I answered any of the texts or calls I had recieved, but I didn't go through with it.

I knew how disappointed my parents would be, but I was more worried about Harry. We had our first kiss and I let him down. I know deep down I put him in a position he couldn't fix. The ungreatfulness of my well being was nothing compared to how I felt towards Harry.

I felt that he could be the start of something not even I could finish. It would be so great, not either of us would know how to solve the puzzle.

Just one spark, and we set off an amazing show. A show that only he and I needed to see.

I pushed passed people I didn't know the names of. Over the intercom, orders were given of when they're destination was going to take flight. I wiped my eyes, pushing through the abyss of strangers.

When I made it to the front desk of the enormous building, I smiled and waited for assistance.

"Hello, how may I help you?" It feels like I had just lost the one thing that had been holding me together.

"Is there anyway I can leave? I know it's a little late but I was looking for the next class flight." The lady smiled, her red lip stick smearing against both top and bottom lips, trying to keep it colored.

"Not for another sixteen hours." I sighed, nodding and finding my way to a seat. I knew I came prepared, bringing atleast a five hundred dollars from the safe only my family had access to down in the basement.

I walked to the coffee shop, walking up to the cashier.

"Hi, what can I help you with Miss?" I smiled, pulling out my wallet.

"I'll get a Frappuccino, just vanilla." She nodded, putting my order in. It was crazy these days, how just a push of a button could make one order.

"Walk to your left and your order will be ready." I smiled again, walking slowly down the line.

My phone vibrated again. I knew it was Harry, trying to get a word out of me, but if I went through with it, I wouldn't go through with this. I could finish high school later on, get my degree and do what I came here for.

I needed to let go, not so much as forget, but do what's best for my mind. It needed a mental break, a permanent break that would let me collect my thoughts for once.

"Order for Noel?" I smiled, grabbing the cup. The liquid was burning hot, but I didn't waste a second to walk it off and take a seat again.

I watched around me as people walked from the right to the left, or the left to the right. A family of four came running from the right, most likely trying to not miss they're place.

I took a small sip, setting the cup on my lap. I tapped on the side of the cup, it sure was going to be a long day..

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It was hour twelve, I had bought my ticket, and made my way to the correct gate. A few people had stopped me, asking me spammed questions I didn't know the answer to.
By the time hour fourteen hit, Harry had left five messages. I clicked on them, listening in sadness at what he had to say.

El, where are you? Your dad and I are worried. Please answer so I know your okay?

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Noel come on this isn't funny. I'm scared and I need to hear your voice. I need to know your okay..

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God dammit Noel this isn't a joke! If somebody took you I'm gonna find the son of a bitch and kick his ass. I need to know your okay, I'm going insane!

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It's me again, I know your either kidnapped and can't answer the phone, or I'm just being delusional and you just don't want to answer me. If that's the case, I understand.

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Harry here. I sound like I'm desperate. But I know you won't answer so I guess it doesn't matter anyway. If I don't see you again, just know that I'm waiting.

By now I was practically drowning in my own tears. The intercom sounded in my area, letting me know that it was time for me to go.

When I got into the boarding gate, I felt chills go down my spine. I didn't think for a second I was going through with this, but I was. I looked at my phone, seeing Harry's name pop up. I wanted to answer it so badly, but I couldn't. My parents had my phone in lock and key and the second I answered that phone, they'd know where I was and instantly know what I was doing.

I got to my seat, sitting the closest to the window. I looked out, seeing a man in yellow shirt holding two light sticks for the pilot to notice in the dark. I wanted it to be one of those moments where I would board the plane, hearing my name being called from a familiar voice.

I wanted to look back before it was too late and see Harry standing there, calling my name. I wanted to run into his arms, crying because I knew I'd made a mistake. I wanted him to kiss me and tell me not to leave him, that he couldn't live without hearing my voice like he usually did. I wanted to see my dad run over, thankful that I was okay. I wanted nothing more than to be told that I can't leave, that I shouldn't leave for the sake of my family and Harry.

But the things you want just don't happen sometimes. And once you realize you've done something you wish you could take back, you know all that's left is to move forward and go on with what you were planning on doing in the first place.