Saving Grace

I Don't Know What To Do

Chapter Seventeen

Cali - August - Four Weeks Later

I squinted my eyes open, but shut them quickly when I saw how bright it was outside. It felt too early to be up. I finally opened my eyes all the way and looked around the familiar room. My gaze fell on him, sitting in a chair, looking at me.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he said with a small chuckle. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

I thought he was crazy, but he insisted on sleeping in the chair every night. In case I needed pain medication or anything. And a few times, I had needed something in the middle of night, and he was there, so I was thankful. But I wasn't ready to offer for him to sleep next to me. I know it was awful that I made him sleep uncomfortably in a wooden chair, but I couldn't do it. Not just yet.

I also secretly wanted him here because I had that same dream again a few nights ago and woke up crying. He had held me and let me cry. And he never asked. That's why that was at the top of the list.

"What time is it?" I asked, as I attempted to sit up. But that quickly failed. Pain shot through my spine and I fell back down. Jay was by my side in a second and helped me sit up. Damn these bruised ribs. It felt like nothing had gotten better. But Preston kept reminding me that at least I didn't have brain or spine damage. And so then, of course, Jay the asshole had to say he wasn't sure about no brain damage. He said his jokes were only trying to cheer me up, but they always earned him a punch in the arm from me.

"Three in the afternoon," he finally answered, breaking me out of my flashbacks.

What? It couldn't possibly that late. Bu then again, I was sleeping later and later every day. The pain medication made me drowsy, but I wasn't complaining. If I was sleeping, I didn't feel the pain.

Jay had told me what happened and I got angry at my horse. But I reminded myself that the horse did act just like me. I cursed that fact. The doctor said I couldn't ride for at least a month, so I was also angry at that. I was angry a lot these days in case you didn't notice. But I wasn't planning on listening to the doctor. As soon as it didn't hurt, I was getting on my horse.

I also finally named my horse. And I loved her name. Rhode Island Grace. It fit her perfectly. Jay also finally knew my first name. I was debating on whether or not to tell him for a long time. I associated my first name with my childhood. Which was what I was hoping had been wiped from my memory after the fall. But I didn't have such luck.

After I left home, I began telling people my name was Cali. It was my middle name and I thought it suited me better. Preston and Dale didn't know that about me. Only Jay.

That's why I had cut Preston off that day when I saw Johnston and then my mom called. I knew he was going to say my mom was asking for Grace. She didn't know I went by Cali and Preston had no idea my name was Grace. I really didn't feel like explaining that day.

I was actually surprised how much I was willing to share with Jay and no one else. But then again, I felt something different inside when I was with him. The butterflies and electricity that shot through me was incredibly different. No one had ever had those effects on me. And something in my head also told me I could trust him. That's why I was scared.

And why I was angry that I was becoming a freaking sap. I was never the normal girl who planned her wedding from the time she was six and dreamed about a Prince Charming who would come and sweep her off feet. I hated that I was having such...girly thoughts.

"Do you know where Preston is?" I asked, realizing I needed to talk to someone who wasn't Jay. Although I'm sure he would love to hear it.

"I think he's at the house. You want him?"