The Story of US

Chapter 19

Nobody said anything at first. Everyone just looked at Castiel, even Meg lifted her head up to stare. Castiel was looking from one face to the next waiting for an answer. When none came he finally said

" What?"

Dean opened his mouth but nothing came out. After opening and closing it a few times with the same result, Gabriel cleared his throat

"Castiel that's Dean" he said. Castiel took in this information and then turned back to Dean

"Nice to meet you" Was all he said.

Deans world was off balance before when Castiel had been sleeping but now it lunged to the side completely and Dean felt like he was falling.

" Castiel you remember Dean...your boyfriend" Meg prompted but exchanged worried looks with Gabriel.

Castiel sat for a moment and then shook his head a look of confusion and panic in his eyes.

"I don't, I mean, I can't" Castiel stuttered

Meg took his hand and got him to look at her,

" Whats the last thing you remember Cassie?" she asked.

Castiel closed his eyes and his breathing started to slow, after a moment he said

" Packing. I remember packing my apartment"

Gabriel and Meg both looked at Dean with a smile. This was a good thing, he remembered them working on Castiel's apartment, Dean hadn't actually moved into their new place yet. He just couldn't bring himself to go there without Cas.

"What else?" Meg prompted

" I remember.." He started " I remember the college. I remember you walking me around the college to show me around. Then packing. I am going to Colorado to teach at your school Meg" He finished, looking from face to face almost like he was checking to see if he got it right. Deans falling feeling went into overdrive and he felt his heart leave his chest.

"Cassie" Meg said " That was months ago. It's January. What you are telling me happened last April."

Castiel's face was hard to read but the confusion was there in his eyes. He looked from Meg to Gabriel and then to Dean where he faltered, not really being able to meet his eyes and then back to Gabriel.

"She's right Castiel. You've been in Colorado almost a year" he said softly.

Castiel began to panic, Dean turned and left the room as Meg began trying to calm Castiel down. Gabriel caught up with him in the waiting room about half an hour later.

" I just talked to the nurse and they are giving him something to calm him down. She said its really not that rare for someone to have temporary memory loss after what he's been through. We just have to give him some time" Gabriel said to him.

Dean knew that what he was saying made sense in some kind of way but he just couldn't wrap his mind around anything other than the fact that Castiel had no idea who he was. All the times they had spent together, every laugh, every fight, every kiss. Gone. He couldn't be here anymore. Standing up and shaking Gabriels hand he asked him to call an keep him posted about Castiel, then turned and left. Driving around, Dean couldn't think of one place to go. Everything was gone for Castiel and yet for Dean he saw his blue eyed boy everywhere he looked. Part of his mind was being rational and telling him that everything was going to be okay and to just be patient, and the other side was in a wild panic not making any sense. He finally drove to his apartment with Sammy and quietly made his way to his room. He couldn't talk to anyone yet. Not when there were more questions than answers.

For the next few days, Dean received updates from Meg and Gabriel on Castiels progress. Physically, he was fine, aside from his injuries he was doing well and healing fine. He was doing so well that they doctors were thinking of letting him go in a few days. Mentally, Castiel had still not regained his memory. He was doing better in that area, Meg was a huge help considering how close they were. She told him about his job and how he had confided in her that he was so happy with the way it was going. This thrilled him because in his mind now he was still nervous. She also told him about Dean. How they had been together almost since the beginning of the school year and how they had she had never seen him happier, but he couldn't remember. It aggravated him to no ends that there was this huge hole in his mind. The police had been equally irritated to find out he couldn't tell them anything. The doctors had run all kinds of tests and then had the shrinks come in. His official diagnosis was Dissociative Amnesia meaning he had lost a huge chunk of his memory because of what had happened to him and more than likely they could get it back with time and therapy but until then he just needed to move forward and try to get back to his life. That was where Castiel would run into a problem, he couldn't remember what his life was, for him, it was all still to come. Meg said she would come and stay with him for awhile to help him while he finished healing. Gabriel had left this morning with the promise to check in with him in a few days, which surprised him. Michael and he dad had left yesterday with handshakes and unoriginal platitudes, which was not a surprise. Dean hadn't been back to see him and Castiel was secretly glad. He had no idea what to say to this man. He tried to act happy but mostly he was just overwhelmed with it all. When he was finally released, Meg picked him up and drove him back to his apartment. She had a backseat full of her own stuff to go with them. After helping him inside she waited while he looked around. There were boxes scattered around but most of his apartment had yet to be packed up, which would make it easier to unpack he thought to himself. Making his way slowly to the kitchen, he saw photos of him and Dean all over. One caught his eye, it was a selfie with a beautiful view of the mountains behind him and the smiling stranger. He looked happy, hell if he was being honest, he had never seen a picture of himself where he looked like that. An uneasy feeling settled into his stomach and he made his way to the bedroom, where he was assaulted with more pictures of him and Dean. Meg had followed him and was just looking at him with a look of pity as she watched him turn all the pictures face down. He could feel her sad judgement and it just made him feel worse.

" Cassie, hun, what can I do for you?" She asked him.

Not knowing really where to start he just let it go,

" Will you break up with Dean for me? I know its a childish thing to do but I think I can live with that. Meggie, I don't know him and he obviously knows me very well and I can't imagine talking to him like this. I just can't. " He let his tired body fall back onto his bed and just laid there staring at the ceiling.

" I just have so much going on that I don't think I can handle breaking the heart of a stranger" He said.

Meg sat there for longer than he cared to time without saying anything and then agreed. She wasn't shy about warning him that this was a rash thing to do and that chances are he was going to regret it, but she never tried to talk him out of it. In her own way she was cutting him a break. She helped him change into pj's and then climbed in next to him. She would settle her stuff in tomorrow. Before killing the light she looked at him wordlessly but Castiel could hear her loud and clear.

" I am sure" he said before rolling over and falling asleep.