The Story of US

Chapter 35

Dean knew that his friends didn't agree with him, but they were kind enough to back off. No one talked about what had happened, instead they drank and listened to music. They talked and laughed about completely trivial things, they gave him the space he asked for. What else could they do?
When night fell and everyone started dividing up sleeping spots, Sammy and Jess took one spare room while Dean was still in the other. He tried to get Charlie to bunk with him, but she said she was perfectly fine with the couch and wouldn't budge. To tired to argue he helped her find some extra blankets and pillows.
" Charlie, I want you to know that I appreciate what you came here to try and do. I appreciate it kiddo" Dean told her as they fixed up the couch into a suitable bed.
" Yeah, yeah, I am awesome and Dean Winchester must bow down to me, but seriously, I just want to see you happy. Remember that next time you are mad at me. " She replied, smiling at him.
Giving her a hug before heading upstairs Dean says,
" Yeah right, that may not happen for awhile" and then walks out of the room before he could hear her say, " Maybe sooner than you think"

Dean was paralyzed. Crowley was beating Castiel in front of him and there was nothing he could do to stop it, he couldn't even scream. Blow after blow, Castiel crying out for help and all Dean could do was sit there, mute. He couldn't even shut his eyes. As soon as Castiel lost consciousness, the whole thing started again. After what seemed like an eternity Dean finally found his voice and screamed " CASTIEL".

"Shhh, Dean, it's okay. Dean, Dean can you hear me? It's okay. It's just a bad dream." The soft voice told him. This had to be part of the dream to, because there was no way that Castiel was at Bobbys. Not wanting to wake up from this he kept his eyes closed, a single tear making its way from his eye down his face. But this didn't feel like a dream, Dean could feel that he was covered in sweat and tangled up in his sheet. He could smell Old Spice and whiskey, the signature scent to Bobby Singers home. If this wasn't a dream then that meant...
His eyes flew open and sure enough there he was. Castiel.

Deans brain was still trying to push back his nightmare, but with Castiel in front of him it was harder. This was why he had left, his guilt couldn't be in the same room with his boy. He had tried to outrun his guilt and it failed cause it was all rushing to the surface with Castiel sitting in his bed, Deans hands in his own, trying to calm him down. It was absurd.
" But Cas..." Dean started, still trying to find a way to make his mouth move. He could still feel the loss of his voice in his dream, the paralyzing fear of what was coming.
" No Dean, you don't get to talk right now." Castiel told him firmly.

" I drove all night to get here, so you don't get to talk" Dean could hear Cas fighting back the tears in his voice and that just made this a thousand times worse. If he had been angry enough at Dean to drive here then there was no way this was going good. He had to take it though, if this was what Cas needed then he owed him that much.
"You are a stupid, stupid man and I want to hate you right now. You...you...just infuriate me sometimes. Did you think I couldn't handle, I don't even know, why did you leave? Why sneak off in the middle of the night? Because you have delusions of getting me hurt? Dean I knew what I was getting into with you and I did it anyway, you didn't force me into anything and you damn sure aren't the reason I got hurt. Don't even try to argue with me, I am not gonna budge on this. You didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand me? I am alive, and I am fine and you don't get to just check out because you feel guilty about something that may or may not have happened. Maybe Crowley is telling the truth but you know what, I don't care. I don't give a rats ass if its true or not. It's over, it's done and maybe it'll come back, or not. Either way, I am not gonna just stand by while you go hide."
Castiel was on a roll and Dean was not gonna interrupt him. He had a feeling that Cas might actually haul off and hit him if he tried. Castiel was crying now and Dean could feel his own tears escaping his eyes. He wanted to believe Castiel but he just couldn't buy into the fact that he wasn't going to hold this against him. Maybe not now, but in the future.
" Dean stop. I can see it in your face that you are talking yourself down while I am talking to you. I don't know how to make you believe me. I mean, no I can't remember our time before but Dean, I know my heart knows you. I love you, you stubborn man and nothing is going to change that. Ever. Please just...just trust me. Trust ME Dean." Cas pleaded and Dean knew his heart couldn't take anymore. Not like this.

Dean placed his hands on Castiels face and pulled him is til their foreheads were resting against one another.
"Oh Cas, you are not making this easy" Dean whispered, letting his thumb caress Castiels jawbone. " and I never will" Castiel whispered back and tilted his head up so that their lips met. He could feel Dean trying to resist, " Be my last first kiss?" he spoke against Deans lips and that was it. Dean pulled Castiel closer and lost himself in the warm of his mouth. His Cas, always his. Deans kiss built up and the fire between them flared as they surrendered one to another. Dean broke free just to scatter Castiels face with light kisses while whispering to him " I am so sorry. Forgive me."

Castiel stopped him and looked deep into Deans eyes, " Don't ever leave me Dean."
"Never"