hold me tight

Maybe

I'm not sure if I'm going to write this book till the end. I'm sorry.

- katys part of view -

I really miss John. He is the love of my life and yes I also said that to Russell but I know that John didn't want to hurt me. I just know it. He is called the womanizer but maybe he has a heart. He has one. He loved me or I don't know, still does.
I want him back but can I forgive him after what he Did?
John hurt me. But I love him.

The tour started about 2 weeks ago. I love it so fucking much because this has always been my childhood dream and final it's true.

Maybe I should wait till the tour is over in October 2015 or till I have the summer break next year. I can't have a deep relationship while traveling around the world.

I played with my fingers and got up from my chair.

I saw myself in the mirror and smiled. With a deep breath I walked out of the door.

"Katy, come to the circle", Khasan said.

I put my hand in the middle and we all yelled

"MANCHESTER"

I went to my position and the concert starts.

Gosh, I love my katycats so much.

Months later ( April 2015)

I woke up by the sun shining to my hotel room.

I turned around to pick my phone and went to instagram and twitter.

I love to see the comments from my katycats. Without them I would be nothing.

I decided to text John. He should know that I want to see him.

I clicked on John and started tipping.

Hey John. I'm on tour and I need to talk to you. Right now I'm home so what about you. Katy x
I clicked on send and got up to shower.

Quickly I hopped under the shower and wash my body. I grabbed a towel, pick out a nice jeans and top.

After I was finish of getting ready I looked down on my phone.

John: " Hello, nice to hear from you. I can come to you in about 20 minutes"

I smiled.

I'll see him after over 1 year.

After a little bit time the door bell rang and I opened it.

I saw his face. It was like the first time I met him and I felt in love.

"Hi", he smiled.

"Hey, come in", I said.

I took a step back to let him come in.

"Do you want to drink something?", I asked.

"Yes, a water is enough", he said.

I nodded and handed him the glas.

We both sad down on my couch and I faced him.

"I'm sorry", he said.

"It's okay John. I forgive you and if not I wouldn't took you here", I said.

I thought about what to do.

How should I tell him.

"I - I love you", I said suddenly.

This was the only thing I knew at the moment.

I didn't waited for an answer and grabbed his face and put my lips on his.

I felt how shocked he was but after some seconds he continued kissing me.

I John pulled back and took my hands.

"What was that?", he whispered.
"You know what I said and I want you back. I understand if you found another girl but you have to know what I'm still thinking about us", I said.

He smiled.

"So we are back together?", he asked.

"Uhm. Actually yes but I don't want to make it public and I also have to tour but after this, I'm all yours", I said and pecked his lips.

"I love you", he said.

"I missed to say this for more than one year..", I replied.

"let's watch a movie", john said exited

"okay", I laughed.

We picked a movie and lay down on the couch.

My head was on his chest and I heard his heart beat.

I wanted to watch the movie but the only thing John was about was kissing me.

He is so cute and of course I didn't said no.