Odes To Ella.

chapter 3: That can't be...

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my hair in a towel so it resembled a turban. After I had dried off, I took out a little white dress with no straps that Benny had bought for me on my birthday.
I dried my hair with the blow drier and combed through it to get it fluffy and soft.
Benny and I had moved into our own apartment when I came to the college 3 months ago. The decor was simple, but it was big enough for us. I finished lighting the candles and throwing the rose pedals around when a knock came to the door.
I smiled and adjusted the dress slightly before I walked up to it and opened it. Benny smiled down to me and said,
"Are you expecting someone?"
"Only the best-looking guy in the planet. Who are you?"
"Oooo, ouch. That's cold." He said. I shrugged and stepped aside.
"Care to come in?"
"Please." He said, walking in. He set his bags down and plopped down on the couch.
"How was your road trip?" I asked him. He smiled and said,
"Fun, but it would have been funner if you were there."
"Awe, that's sweet of you to say." I said, kissing his cheek. I walked in front of him, purposely swaying my hips.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah, for your sweet pussy," he said. He stood up and pressed me against the wall. I kissed his face and ripped the buttons away, peeling his shirt off him. He grabbed my dress and lifted it up while I started to unbuckle his pants. After he had slipped my underwear down my legs, he lifted me up and pushed himself into me. I held on to his hair and tossed my head back as he pushed into me, me moving up and down with each thrust. I moaned down to him.
"Faster, Benny."
"You want more, baby?"
"Yes!" I called out, clasping his hair tightly. He carried me to the bed and laid us down so he was still on top and continued thrusting into me. The angle that he was at allowed him to go deeper in with each thrust. I arched my back and throbbed around his length. His cock started to throb within me. But before he could come, he slowed down to make it last longer. It gave me a chance to catch my breath. He pulled it out and rubbed the tip against my clit.
"You want more, Clair?"
"Yes, Benny!"
"Tell me what you want!" He commanded, smacking my butt hard. I gasped and yelled out,
"I want you to fuck me hard, Benny." He smiled and pushed everything in one motion. I moaned at the sudden movement and clenched myself around him as he thrusted at top speed. He kissed my neck and grunted out,
"God, I missed you so much, baby. Say you love me." He pulled back on my hair roughly. I arched my back and groaned out,
"I love you, Benny." He breathed against my neck and filled me up with his cum. I came all over his member and fell back on the bed. He rolled off to the side and laid an arm around my bare chest while kissing my shoulder.
"I love you, Clair."
"I love you too, Benny." I whispered while smiling. He laid his head against my shoulder and breathed.
"What did the doctor say?"
"I don't know. He's going to call tomorrow." I said, rubbing his forearm. He smiled and leaned his head up and looked into my eyes.
"Hey, don't worry, ok? Whatever happens, I'll be here for you." He kissed my hand and smiled at me. I felt my heart flutter as I smiled back and kissed his cheek.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight beautiful." He said back.

I woke up at 8:07 the next morning.
Oh no, it's happening again.
I threw the covers off of me and sprinted to the bathroom. I bowed down next to the toilet and felt my stomach contract as all of its contents plopped into the toilet bowl. After my muscles unlocked me from that state, I sat back and breathed.
Thank god that's over for now.
I flushed it down and stood up, grabbing some asprin for my headache.
I stumbled to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients to make some bacon and eggs for Benny. I was never big on breakfast, but Benny loved it, so I made it my goal to make him breakfast whenever I could get the chance.
The griddle had just begun to sizzle with bacon when the phone call that changed the course of my life came to me. I pressed the receive button and put the giant phone to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Hi, it's Dr. Wulkam."
"Oh good, do you know what's wrong?" I questioned. He hesitated for a moment. Then, he began tentatively.
"Your puking...when does it usually take place?" His tone was concerned. I frowned and thought.
"Well...it's usually around 8 in the morning or 10 at night. Why? Is it really bad? Did you get the results back?"
"Yes, we have them."
"And?" I urged on, flipping some bacon. Again, he hesitated. His next sentence would change me forever. He sighed once into the phone, then said softly,
"You're pregnant, Clair." I stared at the canbinet in front of me with wide eyes. I couldn't think or move.
What?
"W-what did you say?"
"Youre urine test showed us the fetal traces. Of course you can go to a doctor who specializes in that, but chances are they'll say the same thing." He paused for a moment.
The gravity of it hit me then, and I shook my head.
Pregnant.
"How can that be?" I asked through the phone. He coughed on his end and said,
"Well...when was your most recent sexual activity before our appointment?" His question barely touched me. I clutched the phone tighter and cleared my throat.
"4 weeks." My voice was thick and throaty. Dr. Wulkam cleared his throat and said,
"I'll call you later and we can talk about your options, ok Clair?"
"Ok," I barely managed to mutter. He cleared his throat and said quickly,
"Bye." His line went dead. I slowly put the phone on the counter and covered my mouth slowly while the other one found its way to my stomach.
Pregnant?
The bedroom door opened and Benny stepped into view, leaning against the doorway.
"Hey."
"H-hi." I said softly, turning back to the bacon. My hands trembled and the spatula fell to the floor along with two pieces of bacon. Benny frowned and took a few steps towards me,
"Are you ok?"
"Y-yeah...I just had a bad dream last night." I lied. When I stood up and looked over to him, he was walking to me. When he reached me, he wrapped me in a backwards hug. I set my arms on top of his as they rested on my stomach. Little did he know how close to his child he was. I patted the hand and took a deep breath.
"I dreamt that you found out a really...shocking secret, and that you left me." I bit my lip and looked down at his hands. He spun me around slightly and laid his forehead against mine.
"Well, it's not true. I love you, Clair, and I'll never leave you." He smiled to me and lightly kissed my cheek. Then, he looked deep into my eyes and said,
"Now stop lying and tell me what's really upsetting you." My heart jumped and my eyes widened.
God, he can read me like a book.
I cleared my throat and said,
"I wasn't lying when I said it was shocking."
"I'm sure I can handle it." He said, slightly chuckling. I looked up to him and debated telling him. On the one hand, he said he would never leave me and he, as the father, deserves to know.
But on the other, I had absolutely no way of knowing how he would react to the truth. I was still having trouble with my reaction. While I was thinking, he lifted my chin so I gazed into his eyes.
"Please, Clair. Tell me." He said gently with a small smile. I gave him a smile in return and felt my heart seiz up as I said,
"I'm pregnant."
The silence that followed made me suddenly afraid. His face, filled with calm and serenity, turned into a mask of confusion.
"W-what?" He half chuckled, like I was joking. I frowned and replied,
"I'm pregnant." I repeated. He stared back at me for an extra moment, his eyes lost. Then, he sort of pushed away from me and walked towards the table with a disgusted look on his face.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?!" He yelled, turning back to me. His face was angry now. I gripped the counter behind me and felt myself shrinking away.
"I-I thought you should know-"
"How long have you known?!" He shouted. I jumped a little.
"I-I just found out...why are you so mad?" I questioned. His eyes widened and he spread his hands like the answer was obvious.
"Why am I mad?! Do you know how close I am to graduation!?! You can't mess this up for me!" He was within arms length now. My hand subconsciously fled to my stomach and I cringed back,
"This is a big decision for both of us-"
"Like hell it is! Your getting an abortion!" He commanded, pointing down to my stomach. My heart skipped a beat.
I had known almost instantaneously that abortion was not an option. My parents were strict practicing Catholics. And besides, I didn't think that was something I would want to do anyways.
I automatically shook my head.
"No, I-I can't."
"No?!" He shouted, furious. I closed my mouth and shook my head again.
"No." He shook his head.
"Then fuck you, bitch. Think you really matter? I've got two more girls just like you." He picked up his coat and zipped it up. My eyes swelled with tears and poured down my cheeks in waterfalls.
"B-but I thought you said you loved me!" I wailed.
"Yeah, well, I lied. Don't fucking call me."
"No, please don't leave me, I-I love you-" but he had slammed the door behind him, leaving me alone. I crumbled to the floor in one sobbing heap. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop my body from quivering. My heart literally felt like it was being ripped from my chest. I covered my eyes, but couldn't stop crying and shaking my head.
No, he can't leave me...He can't!
I sat up against the cabnits and pulled my knees to my chest.
What am I going to do!?!

Well, I didn't see much of Benny after he left the apartment. But it didn't matter. He graduated the next week and moved on to bigger and better things.
As I sat on the kitchen floor for the next 5 hours, I debated in my mind all of my options.
Should I give up the baby? Should I keep it? Should I get an abortion? Maybe if I did, Benny would come back...
But when I stood up later that night, I walked to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes were puffy. I looked like a train wreck. But that's not important.
I lifted my shirt and laid a hand gently on my bare skin. And for a moment, only a brief moment, I thought I felt a heart beat.
Our heart beats. They beat as one.
I smiled to the mirror, sniffled, and said,
"Daddy's gone. But not me. I'm here, and I'm not going to abandon you. Not ever."

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Hope you liked it and please enjoy the next one, bye! (:.