Odes To Ella.

chapter 21: Dealing with people.

I hopped in the car and drove to the place where I dropped Christopher off last time. I wasn't sure which apartment was his, so I just rang all the buzzers. When I got to number 16, I heard his voice say,
"Clair?"
"Christopher, let me in."
"Hold on." A few seconds later, the buzzer sounded and I walked in. The second I made it in, I went down the hall and stopped in front of door 16. Then, I thought for a moment.
Am I really doing this?
Yep.
Before I could knock, the door flew open and Christopher leaned against the door. He had on a grey t shirt stained with blood, pants with blood on it, and no shoes. He was smoking a cigarette.
"Christopher..." I whispered. He blew smoke out quick, took my arm, and brought me in in one quick motion. The door was closed, and it was as if I enetered a different world.
First off, there was no light. Curtains drowned out all of it. The only source was from a light fixture in the middle of the room.
There was carpet covered in plastic and in the middle of his living room, as suspected, was a dead cat.
It had been a whitish color, but all of what had been white was now drowned and coated in red. It laid on its side, several deep wounds in its side. The blood pooled around it in a crimson puddle that was now turning black.
I stood and looked at it. I had expected to feel terror. But I felt the exact opposite.
I felt...exhilaration.
Christopher put the cigarette out in a tray on his coffee table, then sat facing the cat on the floor. He didn't say anything for a moment, then he said in a small, childlike voice,
"I didn't want to hurt it..."
"Christopher, you need help-"
"That's why I called you." He said, staring at the cat. I bit my lip, looked down, then knelt next to him.
"You...you need treatment. Medicine..."
"You don't understand." He looked at me. I tilted my head.
"What don't I understand?"
"How it feels." He said, looking at me. He smiled in a weird, oddly powerful way. "The rush..."
"Christopher-"
"Give me your hand." He said, holding his out. My heart jumped and I wrinkled my forehead.
"What?"
"Your hand." He took it abruptly. I half screamed. He looked at me and laughed a little.
"I'm not going to hurt you..." He took the knife which lay only inches from the cat and put it in my hand.
"What do you feel?"
"I don't-"
"Clair, just tell me what you feel." He stared at me.
Disgusted? Terrified? Unruly?
I sighed and shook my head.
"I feel a knife."
"No, Clair...you feel the balance. The balance of life or death." He held my hand up, as if offering it to the gods. I didn't follow his gaze.
He brought the hand down and said something shocking;
"Next time, I need you to come." He smiled at me. I couldn't see my face, but I'm sure it plastered horror.
"W-what?"
"Next time I feel the urge...I need you to come witness it."
"No."
"Think about it," he started,"it will give you insight to what I do in order to keep from killing."
"I think what you need...really need...is medicine, Christopher. Medicine and time." I looked him in the face.
He stared back, his face briefly a mask of confusion. Like he didn't understand my reaction and expected me to accept. Then, he relaxed.
"Medicine and time?"
"Yes." I stated. He smiled and stood up. Then, he walked to the couch against the wall, sat down, and looked at me.
"You know what medicine and time has done for me since I first went to that hospital?" He clasped his hands together. I just stared back, not moving. I couldn't if I tried. He stood up again and walked to the kitchen.
"Not a damn thing, that's what." He slammed a cup on the counter and poured some sort of liqour in it. He then scooped it up, like it was an injured baby bird, and cradled it.
For a long while, he just stood there, silent.
I looked at the cat that lay just a few feet from me. I expected it to make a move away from here, or a meowing sound, but it just layed still.
Finally, I heard him say something in a small, childlike voice. I couldn't hear, so I got to my feet,
"What?" I took one step forward. He turned around, still holding the cup. His eyes were red and puffy now.
"I-I don't like being a freak."
"You're not a freak-"
"Dont patronize me." He interrupted, taking a long drink of the liquid. Then, he put it down on the counter.
"I want you to leave now." He stared at the cup. I frowned.
"I just want to help-"
"Please go." He looked back at me. He didn't say it out loud, but I knew what he wanted to say.
Before I hurt you.
"Ok, I'll go." I stated, putting my hands up in a non-threatening way. I made my way to the door, let myself out, and started back home.
That night, after I put Ella to bed, I sat on the couch with Matt. He was drinking some kind of beer while is at on the chair adjacent to him.
This was a normal spot for us.
When we were younger, he used to tell me ghost stories on cold winter nights when there was nothing else to do. I usually interrupted with several questions, but he always got through the story. Now, we talked about kids and his wife and our jobs.
"God, Randy had it out for us this month."
"How so?" I asked.
"He had me drive the gas rig, which was a hell of a track up the mountain."
"I'll bet." I smiled. Then, he stopped and stared at me. I frowned. "What?"
"Oh, nothing, just thinking."
"Thats dangerous for you." I retorted. He gave me flat eyes.
"Oh haha, very funny."
"I know, I should have been a comedian."
"No, seriously, there's something you've been avoiding since you got back."
"My visit with my patient?"
"No, not that. I know that's none of my business..."
"Well, what then?" I asked. He smirked.
"You like this Derek guy." He stated. I rolled my eyes.
"Not this again-"
"I know you don't wanna talk about it, but I just want to know what he's like-"
"I hardly know, it a not like he gave me his whole life story when I went to his house-"
"You went to his house!?!" He asked with a huge smile. I stopped, willing the words back into my mouth. After a minute, I shrugged and looked down.
"Well...yeah."
"When? Why?!" He pushed. I shook my head.
"This is stupid-"
"No, I'm your big brother, I need to know about this guy whose with my baby sister."
"Again, he isn't 'with' me. We aren't a 'thing'. He's just a nice guy who happens to want to help me with Ella's problem." I hugged myself. He sighed.
"Ok. Let's say I buy that you don't like him. I don't, but let's just say. Did you ever think maybe he's into you?" He stared at me. I sat up. No, I hadn't thought of that.
"I doubt it."
"Why?"
"Most guys don't want to be with single mothers." I looked down.
"Most guys don't just invite chicks in there home either."
"I think they do." I replied.
"Well, I know I wouldn't." He said, finishing his beer. I rubbed my eyes and stood up.
"I better go to bed. I have the PTA meeting after work."
"Where you'll see you hubby." He winked. I rolled my eyes and gave him a hug.
"Goodnight, Matt. I love you."
"Love you too." He waved and left the house.

(The next day at 5:30.)

I pulled up to the school and parked near the front doors. Many other people were pulling up along with me, several of which were either well fed old men or middle aged women with waaaaay too much make up. A few of them stared at me. Sizing me up as the new person.
I smiled politely and walked inside.
I never noticed this before...but any building that was built for children is extremely empty without them.
A pair of large doors were open at the end of the hallway where everyone was going. I sighed and walked in. The whole room was lined with foldable chairs and people with little folders and such. I took a seat in the back corner and crossed my legs. I had pondered what I was going to say once I was able to.
"Hi Clair." I heard him say.
"Hi Derek." I said without looking up.
"What are you doing?"
"Thinking of what to say." I stated. He took the seat next to me and crossed his arms. I looked up and smiled.
He wore a light blue dress shirt with black jeans. He smelled like mint goodness.
"What's there to think about?" He asked.
"I can't just speak my mind, Derek. From my experience, rich people won't listen to that."
"So your plan is to rich talk?" He asked with a hint of skepticism in his voice. I sighed and shrugged.
"What else is there?" I bit my lip and looked at him. He sat forward.
"Be direct. Ask them right away what they're going to do so they can't work around it."
"What do I say?"
"State the problem, then ask, 'what are you going to do about it?' It's as simple as that." He smiled. Before I could say anything else, the principle got up and tapped the microphone.
"Hello everyone! Thank you for attending the district PTA. Now, let's pick up where we left off last trimester..." Derek and I sat there in silence. The room went through many issues, several involving the schools want to expand the building.
At one point while a man was up talking about the need for gym teachers, for a brief moment, I felt Derek's hand slip against mine. My cheeks went red and I immediately looked up.
He looked up and pulled his hand back.
"Oh, sorry Clair."
"No, its fine." I smiled and turned away.
Finally, after what took forever, the principle spoke into the microphone,
"Here to discuss our next issue is Clair Williams." She smiled and walked off the mini stage.
I took a deep breath and strolled onstage. I leaned into the microphone.
"Hello, I'm Clair Williams, and I'm here to bring up the issue of-"
"Excuse me?!" A woman in the front stood up. I paused and nodded.
"Yes?"
"Where's your file?"
"My file?" I asked. She frowned like it was obvious.
"Everyone requires a file to speak here."
"I wasn't aware of that." I stated. Murmers surrounded the room. The woman said,
"Then, miss Williams, I'm afraid we can't hear your issue yet. Come back next trimester."
"What? No, I'm afraid that's out of the question-"
"You don't have a folder?" A man interrupted. I shook my head.
"No."
"Then please exit the stage." He said. I felt rage rise in me.
"You have to be shitting me!" I said with far more edge than I had intended. But it was too late.
All eyes were on me.
"My child suffers everyday she is in this school because of a classmate who is bullying her! But because this boy's parents are better off than I am, it makes it ok for the school not to do anything!?!" I shouted at these people. The principle made her way towards me, but I was on a roll.
"And further more, this so called 'meeting' is totally pathetic! You ponder over petty issues pretending like you're doing important things while there are actual issues ensuing in our school systems. But of course, you all have your pedicured heads so far up your asses that you can't see that! So you know what, this is all going to the papers, fuck all of you!" And I stormed out of the room, leaving complete and utter silence.

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Hope you liked it, enjoy the next one, bye! :3.