Odes To Ella.

chapter 28: Bad News.

Derek said he would make supper, so Ella and I sat in the living room watching Tom and Jerry. She laughed at them every time Tom did something that got him in trouble. I put on a brave face and sat like a rag doll next to her.
She pointed to the screen with a giggle.
"Did you see that?"
"Yes, Ella." I petted her hair. She swung her feet off the side of the couch.
"Tom is so mean to Jerry. Why can't they get along?"
"I don't know." I shrugged. She knew something was wrong by the way I was droning about, but she didn't say anything. She watched the TV, trying to pretend she didn't know. But I could see her shoulders tensing up and her feet stopped swinging. As if the movement would anger me.
Derek called us to the table and we all sat down. Ella frowned.
"Whats this?"
"It's hamburgers." Derek said with a smile.
"But it's on regular bread!" She exclaimed with a confused look. He nodded.
"We didn't have any hamburger buns." He stated.
"But then it isn't a hamburger!"
"Ella! Eat the hamburger. It's exactly the same." I said. She sighed and grudgingly picked it up.
After supper I told Ella to go take a bath and went to start the dishes. Derek took a towel and started drying them. I stared at the soapy water and took a small breath.
"How did you deal with losing your parents?" I asked. He looked at me and shrugged.
"I don't know. I cried plenty. I even contemplated suicide. But eventually, I learned to cope without them. I adapted, and one day, I decided I didn't want to cry anymore."
"How long did it take you to cope?" I asked. He shook his head.
"It took a long time. I don't know. But you'll get through this, Clair. You're strong." He smiled gently and placed a hand on my shoulder. I sadly smiled.
"I'm not so worried about myself being strong...I'm worried about Ella. I don't know what to tell her."
"Tell her that grandpa went to a better place." He tried. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
"I'll tell her tomorrow. Tonight, I'll let her be happy." I finished the last pan and went to the bathroom door and knocked.
"Come in!" She yelled. I walked in and knelt next to the tub. She was covered in bubbles. She took some and made a beard.
"Look, mommy! I'm Santa Claus!"
"Yes you are!" I laughed with her. We washed out her hair and she dressed in PJ's. They had cup cakes all over them.
She jumped on my back and I gave her a piggy back ride to her room and threw her on the bed. She laughed and I tucked her in.
"Well, what story do you want tonight?" I held up her options. She scrunched up her eyebrows and thought.
"Hmm...I want...The Lorax!" She pointed at it. I put the others aside and snuggled next to her. She laid her head on my shoulder and I read it to her. She listened without interruption and fell asleep on my arm. I kissed her head and turned her night light on before I left.
Derek was watching some show on the TV with interest. I frowned.
"What are you watching?" I asked, tired.
"Property Brothers. They work together and fix up houses." He pointed to the screen. I sat next to him on the couch.
"They look like hipsters."
"No!" He laughed. "See the one in the suit? He's Drew. He helps the people buy a house. The other one is Jonathan. He's a contractor. It's amazing the things he dreams up." He stared at the screen. I smiled and we watched the show.
"Why do they question his opinion? I mean, if they've ever seen the show, they would know they do great work!" Derek questioned. I smiled and shrugged.
"Some people are just idiots, I guess."
"Gosh, it just irks me." He shook his head. I could feel myself getting drowsy. Without thinking, I laid my head on Derek's left shoulder. He didn't protest. He just laid his head gently on top of mine.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
He smells like a flower patch.
His hand found mine and he entangled our fingers together. I gave his hand a slight squeeze.
"Thank you for being here."
"Of course, Clair. I'll always be there for you and Ella." He smiled.
I thought of my dad, then. I wondered what he would have thought about Derek. If he would have approved. Tears came to my eyes the more I thought of him.
Derek lifted his head and used his arm to pull me in for a hug. This time, I didn't fight the tears at all. I cried, shaking and silent in his arms. He stroked my hair and rocked us gently back and forth, whispering sweet comforts in my ear.
"It's going to be alright, Clair. You'll get through this. I'm here for you..." He didnt try to let go. He just embraced me and shushed me.
After a while, he helped me to my feet and walked me to my room. He opened the door and laid me on the bed on top of the covers. I calmed down enough to ask him,
"Will you stay?" I looked at him with puffy eyes. He smiled gently and nodded.
We laid down together in the darkness. He snuggled up next to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. Nothing happened between us. He just held me tightly as though I'd slip away into the night. I fell asleep in his arms while he cuddled me.
"Goodnight, Clair." He held my hand.
Goodnight, Derek.
I woke up the next morning in the same position. Derek was still soundly asleep. I didn't move or adjust myself. I listened to his slight snore as he took in air and felt the breeze run down my neck as he breathed out. His hand and arm was still in place. The clock read 8:10. I waited until I heard Ella's door open before I gently slipped out of his grip and walked out.
Ella was sitting criss crossed on the carpet watching Dora. I opened the cupboard and took out the pancake mix.
"Ella, sweetie?"
"Yes, mommy?" She asked in her sweet little voice. I cleared my throat.
"How about you and me go to the petting zoo today? Just you and me."
"Really!? Yes!" She said with a huge smile. I turned back to the griddle and poured the pancakes.
Derek walked out, his hair a little messy, but in a good way. I smiled to him and sighed. He smiled and stretched.
"Good morning." He yawned.
"Good morning, how many pancakes do you want?"
"All of them." He smirked. I rolled my eyes.
"Three it is, then." He turned to Ella.
"Good morning, sunshine! How'd you sleep?"
"Pretty good. Mommy's taking me to the petting zoo today!" She smiled. He nodded.
"I'm so jealous." He sat on the couch and listened as she told him about Dora. When swiper came on, they both chanted,
"Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping!" I smiled and flipped the pancakes.
We ate breakfast in a much better mood than last night. Derek said he needed to get to a meeting, so we said our goodbyes. Ella wrapped her arms around his leg and giggled.
"Bye Derek!" She said. He smiled and patted her back.
"I'll see you tomorrow at school." Then, he walked over and wrapped me in a hug. I closed my eyes.
"Thank you for your sympathy." I whispered. He smiled and whispered back,
"I know you'll get through this." Then, he smiled again and left to his car. I watched him until his car disappeared.
When he left, Ella started putting her shoes on.
"Lets go!" She exclaimed.
"Where?" I asked.
"The petting zoo!"
"I want you to change, first," I told her. She huffed and walked off to her room. I went to my closet to find something to wear.
After sorting through the mess, I found some leggings and a pink silk blouse. I threw them on and slipped into a pair of stylish grey boots.
When Ella came out, she was wearing an inside out white t-shirt with Jean shorts. I sighed.
"Ella?"
"Yeah?"
"Put you shirt on the right way." I stated. She looked down, took off her shirt, and put it on the other way. She then took my hand and pulled me to the car.
She told me all about the animals she planned on petting, but I wasn't listening. I was trying to figure out how to tell Ella about her grandpa. I could just say it...but that didn't seem right.
When we pulled up to the zoo, Ella sprinted out the door and straight to the first pen she saw, which happened to be a brown horse. The man there offered to let her ride the horse, so I nodded in agreement. He helped her onto the saddle and lead the horse while Ella held on and squealed in delight. I leaned against the fence, took a deep breath.
The air was scented with animal poo, but it was crisp.
When she finally came off the horse, she ran straight to the goat pen. She reached through the bars of the fence, holding some straw she found on the ground. I crouched down next to her.
"Ella?"
"Yeah?" She said, keeping her eyes on the light brown goat. Her hair swayed in the breeze, tangling up behind her. She stood on her tippy toes, even though there was no need for it.
I set a hand on her shoulder.
"Sweetheart...what I'm going to tell you is very sad, ok?" I stared at her. She looked at me with a straight face.
"I know what you're gonna say." She said.
I frowned.
"You do?" I questioned. She nodded and turned to me with a hand still on the fence.
"You're gonna tell me grandpa went to heaven." She said plainly in her little voice. I stood and turned my head to the side.
Did I hear right?
"What? How did you know?" I asked. She shrugged.
"Grandpa told me."
"Honey, grandpa's gone..." I trailed off. She nodded.
"I know. He came and told me while I was sleeping last night." She turned back and smiled at the goat. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"What did he say?" I asked, my voice faltered slightly.
"He said, 'I'm going to heaven for awhile. Tell Mommy I said hi.' Then I woke up." She looked at me innocently.
Some tears came from my eyes, but I didn't make a sound. Ella looked at me and took my hand in her tiny one.
"Don't worry, mommy. He said he'll always be watching us."
I smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. We rocked back and forth.
The goat bleated out cries. Ella spun around and petted it with a giggle.
"He's so soft!"
"Yes, yes he is." I giggled with her, sniffling a little.
We walked to the next few pens then drove back home.
Later that day, I decided to make Mac and cheese.
I grabbed the box and started to boil the water. I thought about making Mac and cheese at Derek's house. About the fun we had.
My phone rang loudly.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Time to hold up your end, Clair." Christopher stated from the other end. I gripped the receiver.
"Now?"
"Yes. Remember the spot I took you to?" He asked. My stomach turned at the memory of that aweful place.
"Yes?"
"Meet me there at midnight. Don't be late." He hung the phone up. I put the phone down, took a small breath, and went on making supper.
Go when Ella is asleep.

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Hope you liked it, enjoy the next one, bye! :D.