Odes To Ella.

Chapter 27: Rain.

We arrived just in time.
Mom led me up to the elevator and we took it to the third floor. We ran down the hall to a dark little room. The doctor stood just outside. I went to him and breathed out,
"What's happening?" My cheeks were flushed. The doctor looked at me with an understanding look.
"You're his daughter?"
"Yes." I nodded. He sighed.
"He's had a very serious heart attack."
"But he'll be ok, right?" I looked at him, clinging for hope. But he just took a small breath, set a hand on my shoulder, and said,
"He doesn't have much time left. You should say your goodbyes. I'm sorry." He let go and walked away.
I stood in the hallway. My legs wouldn't let me move.
No...
It can't be. My dad, dying? He can't! My dad has always been the strong support of the family. He can't leave me! I still need him!
He'll pull through, yeah, he's strong...
But as I numbly stepped into the room, I knew the end was near.
His face, always so full of color and happiness was now filled with suffering.
His eyes were colorless. Tubes came from everywhere. His breathing was loud and through a tube.
My mother clung to his arm, rubbing it and whispering sweet memories to him.
"D-do you remember, when we were younger, how we would just lay under that oak tree in your yard. We'd lay there and talk for hours on end about absolutely nothing..." She let out a sob. Tears gushed to my face as I sat on the other side of him.
I took his hand and kissed his shoulder.
"H-hi, dad." He didn't move. Tears ran down as I said what I could. "I love you, dad. I love you so, so much." I laid my head on the bed beside him. All he could do was give my hand a slight squeeze. I held on like I was the one dying.
My mom took a deep breath.
"I'll tell all our grandkids about how much their granddaddy loves them..." She sobbed again. I squeezed my eyes shut and stated,
"You go if you need to, dad. Don't worry about us, we'll be ok. You go if you need to..." We waited.
It never really hit me until he was gone. When he drew his last pitiful breath and his chest stopped rising, I gripped onto his hand. I didn't let go until there was no warmth left in them.
My mom lost all control and threw herself on his chest, sobbing harder than I'd ever seen her sob.
The doctors eventually came in and led us out so they could move his body to the morge.
We watched until the bed disappeared from sight. I took my mother's hand and we went to the car.
She was still crying, but she did her best to calm down. I wiped my face as best I could until I could drive properly, then I drove to her house in silence.
We both walked inside, my mother still sniffling, but her face was more lifeless now. She couldn't believe it.
"H-he was so healthy two days ago..."
"Mom-"
"And then today he just..." She trailed off and sat on the couch and covered her face. I sat next to her and hugged her by the shoulders. We cried for what seemed like forever. Neither one held back, neither one cared. We just cried until our lungs needed air, and then, we cried some more.
No thoughts came through my mind. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. After a while, I almost forgot why we were crying. Then, I remembered his face, the pain, and I cried some more. When we finally looked up to breathe, I saw that it was 2 in the morning.
"M-mom, I-I'm going to c-call my boss a-and tell him I'm staying in tomorrow." She just nodded in response.
I dialed his number, left a message, and went back to the living room. She was still sobbing uncontrollably. I sat down and set a hand on her knee.
"I'm going to lay down. You'll be ok?"
"Yes." She managed. I nodded, kissed her cheek, and went to my old room. It was barren except for my bed. I laid down, though no sleep came to me. I just thought of my best memories with my father.

March 12th, 1984.

I was six years old. My mother had given me a bike about two months earlier, but I was afraid to ride it. My father took my hand that morning and exclaimed,
"What good is having a bike if you won't ride it!" And he brought me outside. I got on and held on as he pushed me a few times. Mom was out at this time. The fourth time we tried, I fell and scraped my knee. Even though I was crying hard, he lifted me up and cleaned the scrape. Then, he took me out for ice cream.