Band One Shots (Request)

Suffer (Ash Costello x Nick Matthews)

This is part 2 of the Alone one shot :)
Bands - New Years Day and Get Scared
Pairing - Ash x Nick
Warning - Mentions of depression and suicide

Nick POV

I lay in my bunk staring at the ceiling. All I could think about was the kiss that me and Ash shared....it was different and it had something that made my body feel like it was on fire.

To be honest I've always found Ash good looking I mean who doesn't but she's more that good looking she's gorgeous...but she will never go for a guy like me.

I mean she did kiss back but maybe it was out of pity...maybe Johnny sent her to check on me, maybe she felt like she had to sympathise with me even if she didn't want to. I'm a nobody, a waste of space...the band should have never took me back.

"Hey Nick! You coming out the bunk or what?!" Called Lloyd interrupting my thoughts.
"Um yeah coming!" I called climbing out of the bunk to the front lounge of the bus.
The others must have already got off the bus to meet the others, see they don't even wait for me.

I opened the door to see everyone outside laughing and giggling. I sat down on a box watching everyone else socialise with each other. I looked up to see Ash laughing and giggling showing off her beautiful white smile. She seems to notice me as she looked right at me, giving me a soft smile.

I turned away blushing a little as I thought about the kiss.

*time lapse*

I watched New Years Day's set and Ash decided to perform one of their most popular songs Angel Eyes. Because Chris wasn't there to perform his part she had Bret (The Relapse Symphony) do his part.

I watched as he sang his part, looking at Ash and getting close with her. Jealousy began to wash over me as the performance continued. Once they finished Ash quickly hugged Bret before he walked off stage waving at the cheering crowd.

After the show I noticed Ash talking with Bret maybe there dating. They seem awfully close laughing and whispering in each others ears. It hurt a little maybe the kiss between me and Ash did mean nothing.

I looked around at everyone maybe my conscience is right...maybe I am I nobody. No one seems to care of my existence and it really hurt.
I turned around walking out the venue. "Hey?!" Called Ash placing a hand on my wrist.
"We're heading out, wanna come along?" She asked me.

I shook my head "what's the point?" I muttered before I walked away, leaving her standing in the middle of the venue.

I decided to head back to the tour bus, I needed to get away from everyone seeing everyone being happy and socialising with each other just makes me a hundred times worse.

I walked into the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. What's special about me? Nothing, why am I sad that Ash is probably interested in someone else? Why would she go for me anyway? I mean look at me...I'm pathetic.

I opened the cabinet above the mirror taking out one object that I needed. I breathed deeply in and out as I held the pills in my hand. With shaking hands I unscrewed the cap off and poured some pills into my hand.

I looked at them and I....I couldn't do it. I heard someone behind me and I knew exactly who it was. Her hands wrapped around the front of me taking the loose pills from my hand, flushing them down the toilet and taking the bottle of remaining pills out of my hand.

"Nick look at me" she whispered, I kept silent.
She placed her hand on my cheek trying to turn me to face her "don't....don't hide from me" she continued.
"No one cares Ash" I muttered
"I care, we all care about you and to be honest we've all been worried about you especially your band mates....and me"

My eyes widened a little they've all been worried about me?
"I....I keep thinking about that kiss" she said catching me off guard.
"And the only mistake I made that night that I regret so much....is walking away" she confessed. Ash liked me?

Slowly I turned around to face her taking in her features. She didn't really have makeup on apart from her eyebrows but I liked it. Slowly my hand reached over, caressing her cheek.

Slowly I leaned forward for our lips were inches away from each other. I felt anticipation, fear, worried that if I turned away she would leave. She leaned forward, her lips touched mine.

One of her hands rested on my cheek while the other was on my chest. I didn't really want the kiss to end. I pulled away as I felt like I couldn't breathe before I resets my head on hers.

I closed my eyes, listening to her soft breathing. "So what is this between us?" I asked breaking the silence that filled the room.
"Something more than friends....I don't want it any other way"  she said. I opened my eyes to look up into hers.

"I'd like that" I whispered. She smiled before wrapping her arms around me for a hug. Maybe I need her more than I realise......